Craving!!!

[bandnmom]

So i am having a craving from h*** today. I have a cold, had a bad week and the weather is screwing with my arthritis! I know i can make a call, which i already did, and get some pills. She called back but i didnt answer. I have never had a craving this bad. I am shakey, and i have that feeling in my stomach...im sure you all know that feeling! Like my stomach is waiting! God i hate this. I am 9 months clean....9 flippin months.....and this is happening. My mind is playing tricks on me and i'm fighting with all i have!!! But its like the pill demon is sitting on my shoulder wispering in my ear....so what you can start again....no big deal!!! I keep smacking him away....lol!!!! I cant use, i cant do it!!! I have come so far and i keep telling myself that. I would also be the biggest hypocrit! I try to help so many here and then i turn around and do it! S***!!!!! I hate this!!!

[K Todd]

Jen,

YOU WON AND BEAT THE FIGHT FROM HELL TODAY !!!

We all are so proud of you !!!

This whole thing really makes me realize, how much we can easely take the gifts in life for granted sometimes.....I am so glad that you learned from today...just has I have.

May you sleep well, and God Bless You,
Love,
Todd

[kim715]

Hon,you have every reason in the world to be proud of yourself.You're a great lady who showed a lot of strength and willpower today,as always.So CONGRATS on being 9 months plus clean.YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!   BIG HUGS.....Kim

[bandnmom]

Ya know...i just said something to Kim that makes so much sense to me. I am gonna look at today like it was a reality check! Never let my gaurd down. I am so proud of myself that i fought. And i fought with all i have. I didnt think after all this time a craving could be so bad. I pray it never happens again but i know in reality not to be so silly. That is why addiction is a lifetime fight. I think i get a little smarter every day when it comes to my addiction. I dont know...maybe not. Maybe its things i have always know but just never experienced. I am so lucky to have all my friends here. I would have never made it threw today without all the help and support and kind words i received from each and everyone one of you. So....from the bottom of my heart......thank you all. I am crying now. LOL!!! From the moment i opened my eyes this morning i knew and now before i close them for the night i am proud. Proud that the pill demon that staked out on my shoulder all day finally gave up and left me.
So i am going to put my ticker on my comment here. I am proud! Proud of myself and proud of all you. We are all learing and growing everyday. For anyone that is new here this post will show you that no matter how bad the craving is it is possible to get threw it and all the wonderful people here will help you do it!
Love and hugz to you all,
Jen

[addict3]

I hope by now you have flushed them, I see you post on a regular basis, and you know what advise you would give to someone else. The money is not worth waiting for her to come pick them up!
PLEASE FLUSH!
I justified taking one last week because I was hurting so bad, but I did not do it and I felt soo much better the next day.
Prayers sent!

[wanttobeclean]

Jen,

Hang in there. I'm sorry things seem to be snowballing for you.  THROW them away...flush them.  You are worth a million times more than those stupid pills.  Walk yourself through it...you'll take one or two or three and feel wonderful for about 2 hours.  Then you'll be right back to where you are now, and worse.  Cause you'll know you let them win.  And you are not a loser..you are amazing.  Fight.  Walk, clean, whatever it takes to scare that demon off your shoulder.    I know you can do it.  

[K Todd]

bobby is so right, and me being on day 13 myself....you have won way to much, and we value and look up to you for your courage and inspiration!

Most of us in here can only dream of being 9 months clean...but you are there, and so shall it ever be sweetie!

Your a big help and inspiration to alot more than you know....never give up!

Glad your feeling better.
May God Bless You,
Love,
Todd