Craving!!!

[bandnmom]

So i am having a craving from h*** today. I have a cold, had a bad week and the weather is screwing with my arthritis! I know i can make a call, which i already did, and get some pills. She called back but i didnt answer. I have never had a craving this bad. I am shakey, and i have that feeling in my stomach...im sure you all know that feeling! Like my stomach is waiting! God i hate this. I am 9 months clean....9 flippin months.....and this is happening. My mind is playing tricks on me and i'm fighting with all i have!!! But its like the pill demon is sitting on my shoulder wispering in my ear....so what you can start again....no big deal!!! I keep smacking him away....lol!!!! I cant use, i cant do it!!! I have come so far and i keep telling myself that. I would also be the biggest hypocrit! I try to help so many here and then i turn around and do it! S***!!!!! I hate this!!!

[Soon2BMrsTurner]

Hey love,

you can do this, hang on , get a movie or take a walk and it will pass, you have come so far and you will pass this test also

[gizzy32]

I have a really selfish reason on my part for you not to use, lol. i cancelled poker now u can't use, haha. I'm sorry this is such a big craving, they are scary and with pills there it's even worse. Keep fighting this with all you have and tomorrow you will feel so good. You need to get the pills out of there. hang in there, 3/4 of a year, it's not worth it and you know that. im still looking for movies here, need a funny one. fight fight fight

[worried878]

Whatever reason u can think of not to use is good enough...if letting down those u have helped makes u not wanna use then so be it.....whatever it takes....maybe take a look at the cravings list in the health pages...reminds me of the reasons i quit...u have made it so far...dont cave now...dont do it as then I will be scared!  if that will keep u from doing it then cool cos it will scare me...when people who have been clean for a long time go down...it is scary to me....please try hard not to do it as we know where it leads..it is just a big doomer..big big doomy place that we never want to go to again..this craving will pass...tomorrow u will wake up and it will be gone..i know how u feel as my joints have been killing me as well..it is so easy to just say "who cares, I hurt" and use...it is just so much harder to stop it at that one time of use...it can start a whole cycle...ur dopamine receptors are asleep at 9 months...Dont wake em up....ok i am grasping here just trying to think of anything i can to get u to make it thru tonight without caving

[bandnmom]

Thank you everyone for the support!! I am still craving BIG TIME!!!! Its just not getting any easier. I thought if i would keep myself busy and that would help. If i ever post again that i am craving someone please remind me not to go grocery shopping with a kid!!! OMG!!!! Well the pills got delivered to my house but i have not taken any ...yet! I know i dont want to but a piece....ok a big piece of me wants to. I cant flush cuz its alot of money to flush. I want her to come pick them back up. She came to my house and i hide...LOL!!! She text me and let me know she left them under the mat!! WTF!!! Still havent taken them but they r in my purse! Thank you all for the help......it meens so much. I just need to make it threw tonight cuzi know tomorow will be better................right?????

[sadinmichigan]

Jen..don't do it!! You know how much you will hate it. I have had intense cravings as well and actually went the extra step and took a handful.I didn't post and i should have but i guess i didn't want to. I know it was stupid and I really am fighting, but I can tell you that I have felt so bad about taking them..It's just not worth it. I am glad you posted ,and I am sorry that your not feeling good. Remember that this will pass. Don't screw up like I did. It only makes a bad situation worse. By the way..I am not still taking them..thankgod..Love ya girl..Lisa

[joann1975]

Hey girl....I'm glad you posted! That shows your strength and dedication to not wanting that pill...and you know what the right decision is!!!

Keep talking here girl! You are going to do this...you will keep your 9months. I know it!

Hugs & Love to my cuz!
JoAnn