Aa
Day 12.. Learning how to live Clean!
Hey all,
I wanted to start a new post with positives!
So Day 12 here and WOW!!! What a difference!
For those of you that have followed my journey, we move in 2 Days!! While my anxiety is high, I do beleive a lot of it is due to the move! 2 hours from here back to my old stomping grounds, which we love! Closer to family for support! My girls will be going to new Schools which, again is a good thing but I am a Mother, of course it stings! Not to mention my baby girl will be a Freshman in High School! While not packing, I have enjoyed riding my bike with my girls to our neighborhood pool. Soaking up the Vitamin C feels great! Life is so much clearer and honestly it's rather sad looking back now that I was numb to my own children, never taking the time to hear about their days or simply chat! I see now why everyone says my 14 yr old is hilarious! Man she makes me smile and really, she has become my best friend in this past week! I went to another meeting this morning and while I chose not to speak, it was very Therapitic!! I have an apt scheduled with a psychiatrist next wed and looking forward to that!
With all that said, I want to say this: someone on here once told me
" that there will never be a good time to detox "... Something in your life will always be going on and make you feel like you can't do it " right now "... Well, here I am going through this massive move with a moody husband that doesn't get what I have and still am going through! My girls starting new schools 3 weeks prior to what they would have if we wouldn't have moved! I did it and I am still doing it! While I know I still have a long way to go, I will never let my guard down!! I have good days and bad days but, I am learning to live again..
PILL FREE!!
I send my utmost Love to every single person that ever responded to any of my post! That Live goes out to the ones that have me tough love when I needed it the most, even if it hurt!! For that I Thank You!.... You know who you are!!
While I will be busy the next few days I will check back in daily!
Right now, I am going to go back and soak in the Vitamin C with the 2 most important people in my life.... My beautiful girls!!
I sincerely give all of my love to every single one of you who got me through the worst Days of my life!
Love,
Ashley..DEDICATEDTOSTOP
I wanted to start a new post with positives!
So Day 12 here and WOW!!! What a difference!
For those of you that have followed my journey, we move in 2 Days!! While my anxiety is high, I do beleive a lot of it is due to the move! 2 hours from here back to my old stomping grounds, which we love! Closer to family for support! My girls will be going to new Schools which, again is a good thing but I am a Mother, of course it stings! Not to mention my baby girl will be a Freshman in High School! While not packing, I have enjoyed riding my bike with my girls to our neighborhood pool. Soaking up the Vitamin C feels great! Life is so much clearer and honestly it's rather sad looking back now that I was numb to my own children, never taking the time to hear about their days or simply chat! I see now why everyone says my 14 yr old is hilarious! Man she makes me smile and really, she has become my best friend in this past week! I went to another meeting this morning and while I chose not to speak, it was very Therapitic!! I have an apt scheduled with a psychiatrist next wed and looking forward to that!
With all that said, I want to say this: someone on here once told me
" that there will never be a good time to detox "... Something in your life will always be going on and make you feel like you can't do it " right now "... Well, here I am going through this massive move with a moody husband that doesn't get what I have and still am going through! My girls starting new schools 3 weeks prior to what they would have if we wouldn't have moved! I did it and I am still doing it! While I know I still have a long way to go, I will never let my guard down!! I have good days and bad days but, I am learning to live again..
PILL FREE!!
I send my utmost Love to every single person that ever responded to any of my post! That Live goes out to the ones that have me tough love when I needed it the most, even if it hurt!! For that I Thank You!.... You know who you are!!
While I will be busy the next few days I will check back in daily!
Right now, I am going to go back and soak in the Vitamin C with the 2 most important people in my life.... My beautiful girls!!
I sincerely give all of my love to every single one of you who got me through the worst Days of my life!
Love,
Ashley..DEDICATEDTOSTOP
I will start a new post but wanted to respond to you here first.
Thank you so much for your kind words, hearing that from you means so very much! My Husband wouldn't give me an extra one if I begged, screamed, kicked, cried etc! While they do help for the most part, I just feel so guilty taking them if that makes sense? I done so well getting through the packing while in most worst of detox days and I had to fight through that with everything I had! I never lifted any boxes, even through moving day and even once we got here. I was feeling so good that I began unpacking, trying to organize and doing a bit of landscaping that I would look up at the clock and suddenly it was 5pm and I hadn't sit down all day. Being on my feet for so many days caught up with me and the intense pain hit me suddenly like a ton of bricks. I do want to add that I have found my " happy place " here at my new home. I have a huge back deck on the upper level that overlooks huge Beautiful trees and a field and the field had a walking trail surrounded around it. I love the way it's set up as well bc this deck is actually on our main level so I can walk right out and enjoy the beautiful scenery and it's oh so peaceful. I don't have to walk any stairs to come out. We have a full finished basement that also has a walkout basement but I have pretty much " given " all that space to the girls since both of their bedrooms are there so needless to say, I rarely go down there:).. At our old home, I had to walk up a large staircase every single day.
Just felt like adding that little bit because really, it's so tranquil sitting out here.
I am going to another meeting tonight which actually is an additional one. This particular group I have only been to once and while I honestly do not feel as fit as I do my normal meetings, I actually just told my Husband lastnight that I felt the need to go to this one today as well because I MUST stay focused on recovery in every way I can so I do not lose sight when I am taking the meds. I really hope that I can even take them another week then jump back off instead of the initial goal of 2 weeks. My meeting is at 7pm so I will update when I get back... In a new post.
Thank You again for your kind words and support! Thank you for helping ease my mind!
Thank you so much for your kind words, hearing that from you means so very much! My Husband wouldn't give me an extra one if I begged, screamed, kicked, cried etc! While they do help for the most part, I just feel so guilty taking them if that makes sense? I done so well getting through the packing while in most worst of detox days and I had to fight through that with everything I had! I never lifted any boxes, even through moving day and even once we got here. I was feeling so good that I began unpacking, trying to organize and doing a bit of landscaping that I would look up at the clock and suddenly it was 5pm and I hadn't sit down all day. Being on my feet for so many days caught up with me and the intense pain hit me suddenly like a ton of bricks. I do want to add that I have found my " happy place " here at my new home. I have a huge back deck on the upper level that overlooks huge Beautiful trees and a field and the field had a walking trail surrounded around it. I love the way it's set up as well bc this deck is actually on our main level so I can walk right out and enjoy the beautiful scenery and it's oh so peaceful. I don't have to walk any stairs to come out. We have a full finished basement that also has a walkout basement but I have pretty much " given " all that space to the girls since both of their bedrooms are there so needless to say, I rarely go down there:).. At our old home, I had to walk up a large staircase every single day.
Just felt like adding that little bit because really, it's so tranquil sitting out here.
I am going to another meeting tonight which actually is an additional one. This particular group I have only been to once and while I honestly do not feel as fit as I do my normal meetings, I actually just told my Husband lastnight that I felt the need to go to this one today as well because I MUST stay focused on recovery in every way I can so I do not lose sight when I am taking the meds. I really hope that I can even take them another week then jump back off instead of the initial goal of 2 weeks. My meeting is at 7pm so I will update when I get back... In a new post.
Thank You again for your kind words and support! Thank you for helping ease my mind!
P.S. You should start a new post. this one is getting long and it takes a while for the people who don't know you to read threw all the posts and responses.
Now this time for real..Peace, Out. lol
Now this time for real..Peace, Out. lol
Why are you apologizing? Are you abusing the medication or taking it as prescribed? I know the answer to two of those questions. You are not abusing it and you are taking it as prescribed. You did the rifht thing by having your hubby hold them. I hope he has them hidden some place and locked up.
This is NOT a relapse honey. There may come a time when addicts have to take pain medication. As long as they are doing it the right way (like you are_ then it is not a relapse. Did I say that enough? lol
I suffer with chronic pain and there were a few times where I had to take pain medication. I could not stand the pain any longer. Like you, I had hubby hold and dispense. Amazingly, they do work when you take them as prescribed. I never knew that during my active addiction. Anyway, those times that I took them I did not consider it a relapse. I hold on with all I have to my clean time. While I was taking the pills I bumped up my meetings and I talked to everyone who had an ear. Stick with your meetings and talk about it. You did not let me down nor do I think you let anyone down. Now go and get some sleep and let us know how you are tomorrow.
This is NOT a relapse honey. There may come a time when addicts have to take pain medication. As long as they are doing it the right way (like you are_ then it is not a relapse. Did I say that enough? lol
I suffer with chronic pain and there were a few times where I had to take pain medication. I could not stand the pain any longer. Like you, I had hubby hold and dispense. Amazingly, they do work when you take them as prescribed. I never knew that during my active addiction. Anyway, those times that I took them I did not consider it a relapse. I hold on with all I have to my clean time. While I was taking the pills I bumped up my meetings and I talked to everyone who had an ear. Stick with your meetings and talk about it. You did not let me down nor do I think you let anyone down. Now go and get some sleep and let us know how you are tomorrow.
Long story short... Dr gave me the Oxy script and told me if I changed my mind and was suffering too bad to fill the script if I needed it.
Well, I couldn't handle it anymore and I filled the script today:(
While it helped, I feel like a damned failure!! I feel guilty as hell as well! My husband is dispensing it and my plan is to only take it for a couple weeks until things are settled w this move! I guess I completely overdone myself even when I tried so hard not to! I will still be going to my NA meetings. It's hard for me to even type this message. I am sure I let many of you down. I can't even stop thinking about going back through the terrible withdrawl again in a couple weeks:(..... My husband and I have a deal since he is dispensing. 3 weeks max and they get flushed!!!! I am so sorry everyone!! I just took on too much at once I guess. Again, it's heartbreaking to even report this news.
I am so sorry! I did what the Dr's suggested as above. I just couldn't bear the pain in my back and leg any longer and I still have soooooo much to do here. Unpacking, landscaping and everything that goes with a new house. I just want to cry:(
Well, I couldn't handle it anymore and I filled the script today:(
While it helped, I feel like a damned failure!! I feel guilty as hell as well! My husband is dispensing it and my plan is to only take it for a couple weeks until things are settled w this move! I guess I completely overdone myself even when I tried so hard not to! I will still be going to my NA meetings. It's hard for me to even type this message. I am sure I let many of you down. I can't even stop thinking about going back through the terrible withdrawl again in a couple weeks:(..... My husband and I have a deal since he is dispensing. 3 weeks max and they get flushed!!!! I am so sorry everyone!! I just took on too much at once I guess. Again, it's heartbreaking to even report this news.
I am so sorry! I did what the Dr's suggested as above. I just couldn't bear the pain in my back and leg any longer and I still have soooooo much to do here. Unpacking, landscaping and everything that goes with a new house. I just want to cry:(
Hi All!!
Sorry again that I am checking in so late. I got up and done some things around the house and then I spent the entire day with my girls!! We went to a water park and we just got in! I am extremely exhausted to the point where it's hard to even hold my eyes open! I wanted to do something special with them since they start School on Monday.
I AM STILL CLEAN!!!!!!!!! But guys I am really hurting:(... Dr said he thinks I am too far out for it to be rebound pain at this point.
I am so sorry, but I an so tired and ready for bed. I just wanted to stop in real quick and let you guys know that I have NOT USED!! I promise that I will give a full report Tommorow. I have just been so crazy busy with this move. I hope you all understand. Thank you all for your support. I am goin to another NA meeting tomorrow at 9 AM and I am actually considering speaking this time. I will update you all with my report from the pain management doctor and also let you know how the meeting went.
Again thank you all for your support in this very tough decision. I am doing the best I can right now.... Still clean!!!
Please make sure you all watch for my update and I'm sorry I couldn't post more right now... I am still so very torn
Sorry again that I am checking in so late. I got up and done some things around the house and then I spent the entire day with my girls!! We went to a water park and we just got in! I am extremely exhausted to the point where it's hard to even hold my eyes open! I wanted to do something special with them since they start School on Monday.
I AM STILL CLEAN!!!!!!!!! But guys I am really hurting:(... Dr said he thinks I am too far out for it to be rebound pain at this point.
I am so sorry, but I an so tired and ready for bed. I just wanted to stop in real quick and let you guys know that I have NOT USED!! I promise that I will give a full report Tommorow. I have just been so crazy busy with this move. I hope you all understand. Thank you all for your support. I am goin to another NA meeting tomorrow at 9 AM and I am actually considering speaking this time. I will update you all with my report from the pain management doctor and also let you know how the meeting went.
Again thank you all for your support in this very tough decision. I am doing the best I can right now.... Still clean!!!
Please make sure you all watch for my update and I'm sorry I couldn't post more right now... I am still so very torn
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
