Just want to keep people posted....I finally woke up not feeling foggy and exhusted (sure I would have loved to stay in bed another hour than get up feed and dress kid, get them off to school and go to work!) but I am at my office and I feel normal. To be repetetive...I had 13.5 years clean before a Mountain bike accident sent me to the ER in an ambulance...lots of hardcore pain meds..morphine, delati, perks then vics....and then my monster woke up. I am not as conceended with Pills.....I flushed them all away and worked with my Dr. to get off them (getting rid of ability to re-up on them) but I leave tomorrow for a 2 week business trip.....and over the last 5 years of my recovery (herion used to be my D.O.C) I have been really wanting to have a drink. Alcohol was never my issue and I got clean at a very young age....I just never did becasue that is what they tell you in the 12 step programs......I haven't been to meetings in a few years now....but part of me really wants to have a glass of wine when I am out on bussiness dinners. It is milling in my head ....the only thing that had ever stopped me was 13.5 years of recovery (EGO...now that i am starting over I need somethign more to keep me grounded!)
I have no desire to go and do any drugs...(street drugs) my life is so far removed from all of that.....but my husband is also clean.....11 years.....and he still doesnt know I about this.....(part of my problem...total communication break down over the years) IDK.....I am thinking I need to get into therapy!