First Time Poster

[JD1885]

Hello,

I'm posting this because I'm really sick and tired of being addicted to pain killers.  I've been off and on hydrocodone and oxycodone for about 5 years.  It all started at work with a bunch of guys who always had them.  It was cool at first for us all to pop a few and work and laugh together.  But now, I'm older and married with two kids and this crap is ruining my life.  Before, it never got to the point where I was going thru withdrawals when I wouldn't take them but now I've found a steady supply and I take usually 3 - 6 a day.  And at $6 a piece, it's ruining my life.  I am already broke, heading for divorce, and I'm sure it can only get worse from there.  I won't go to rehab or a doctor, I just have to quit.  I have before for a few weeks and then somehow, like a *******, wind up back at the guy's house buying more.  I joined this forum for a little support.

Thanks

[selfinduced]

HA! Yes, Christmas is coming, wouldn't you rather buy presents than pills? Seriously, remember with the cravings, it is just your unhealed brain fooling you. You'll never get the high you once had and it will just set you back. I know you realize this. Just helps to be reminded. Wishing you a peaceful day , your doing amazing!

[Bkitty]

Hanging in there JD,,day 26 for me. Looking forward to that 30 milestone this week. Keeping my gaurd up and attending aftercare and NA. Going back to work tomm,,Im a lil nervous I can do it. Hang in there and stay strong!! ~Bkitty

[JD1885]

Thanks for your support.  This site has been great.  It's nice logging on and several people have sent me best wishes and asking how I am.  How are you BK?  Are you hanging in there?

[Bkitty]

Im so glad to see you hanging in there JD! congrats on 6 days,,I remember when you first posted. Im proud and happy for you. keep that guard up at all times,,there are landmines and boobie traps out there. Best wishes ~Bkitty

[JD1885]

I'm feeling pretty good today.  I'm still craving a little bit.  No, a lot, but I'm making it through it.  I feel more clear headed.  I'm still scared to death though that I'm gonna relapse and go back to every day usin' and abusin'.  I really think I have beaten it this time.  I know that's shallow to say after only 6 days, but it just feels completely different this time.  And I was only taking 30 - 60 mg hydro a day, so I wasn't just real hard up.  And there were a lot of days in between there when I couldn't get any for days at a time.  I think I'm going to really enjoy this new life.  And I'm gonna need a bigger money clip.  How are you doing selfinduced?

[selfinduced]

HOW are you feelimg?