First Time Poster

[JD1885]

Hello,

I'm posting this because I'm really sick and tired of being addicted to pain killers.  I've been off and on hydrocodone and oxycodone for about 5 years.  It all started at work with a bunch of guys who always had them.  It was cool at first for us all to pop a few and work and laugh together.  But now, I'm older and married with two kids and this crap is ruining my life.  Before, it never got to the point where I was going thru withdrawals when I wouldn't take them but now I've found a steady supply and I take usually 3 - 6 a day.  And at $6 a piece, it's ruining my life.  I am already broke, heading for divorce, and I'm sure it can only get worse from there.  I won't go to rehab or a doctor, I just have to quit.  I have before for a few weeks and then somehow, like a *******, wind up back at the guy's house buying more.  I joined this forum for a little support.

Thanks

[ricart70]

Hey buddy,glad you are still hanging in there.I am not in aa na but I am big on day counting especially at first because it lets me know how much better I am getting physiologically.Be careful with those dealers.Keep it up you are doing something great.Awesome!

[JD1885]

Yes I've overcome it so far.  I kind of have a different attitude today.  An attitude that I've just been the weakest, sissiest person I could be.  Like saying..Ohhh these chills are soooo bad.  Ohhhh no I can't sleep, I better go get some.  It's just time to wake up from this bad dream.  I'm not even going to count the days anymore.  It's over.  I know it's still going to be on my mind but the other side of my brain is just going to slap the weak side and say get over it.  I turned all my dealers in to crime stoppers.  They are probably going to try to kill me, but I bet they won't sell me pills anymore!

[Determined85]

Its great to hear that you overcame that! And staying busy is a GREAT idea!
And the waking up refreshed? Great motivater huh? Idk bout u but I had forgotten what it felt like to be clear headed!                                    BTW... What tracker?? I'm new to this site and attempting to navigate from my phone??
Ne way- just wanted to say congrats on the good day! Hope 2morrow is just as good  

[avisg]

Take it day by day . I found in the early stages when I was craving bad i would exercise and it helped deal with the craving . I choose to see a therapist because I tend to try to fix everyone else  in group situations and avoid myself so a therapist was just the best choice for me. She doesn't put up with my crap . As the days pass the cravings do get less but it does take a while .At times of stress you will find even when u have a long time in recovery that you still have cravings from time to time .

[vicki595]

Hi JD!

Can you ask your dealer to lose your phone number? Is he also a friend?  It's going to be a battle for you if you keep getting texts about availability! It would be for any of us!

Mentally, as the days go by the thoughts become less frequent. As you accumulate clean time, it will just kill you to throw it all away by using! I've been there but only once. That's how bad I felt after 51/2 months clean! I haven't touched it since...

I'll tell you what: Once you're away from the pills you'll feel like it's the most noble thing you've ever done in your life. It hurts,it's hard,it makes you cry...but every day that passes is always a good day when you're clean. I promise you that!

[selfinduced]

YESSSSSS!!! Think of those sweet babies of yours and all the extra money you will have not to mention your inner peace. I believe in you. Just for today........