HELL

[stilltrying1965]

Today i am in hell Going toe to toe with the devil himself . I feel i cant cope with this sh... I am in real agony. This morning my dealer came to the door this morning said he was worried about me coz the phone had been off all weekend (more like the £300 he has not got off me over the weekend) But i have to admit i was tempted really tempted but i never gave into him but i told him this is my mums house dont ever come here again am not having that not at my mums no way. But i think he is getting the message i hope so anyway but im rattling really badly and i know it is going to get worse no doubt about that a lot worse than ever before but still in fighting mode. When the dealer went away i came came in and actually cried but i looked at all my messages from all my freinds here and it stopped me running out to shout him backThank you my new found freinds use no who you are my special friends thank you all  

[10356]

Yes that is the first thing the ***** steals is our heart.. The dark is lifting and the light is shining through.. Like a breath of fresh air.. Please do not feel pressured to respond to everybody.. We all understand.. Take your time.. It is support for you.. nothing in return but you and your wife's freedom...

[stilltrying1965]

there are so many msgs coming we just cant belive what we are seeing THANKS TO ALL OF YOUS every one of use have touched a part of me and help me get even more determind tobeat this demon all off you have touched a part of me i forgot i had my HEART thanks to all and good luck  with what ever your demon is  we can all do this by helping each other again thanks to all of yous  i cant say thank you enough  your all in my thoughts todaythanks again folks

[stilltrying1965]

Id like to say thank you for your kind words and thoughts you all are an insperation to me but im not any braver than youor any better you will beat your demons yourself i have no doutb of that my freind you to keep up the good work and i will keep being positve thank you and good luck am still in the early stages but with your and the encouragment of others it all helps again thank you

[10356]

I'm so proud of both of you.. I have tears swimming in my eyes for the love you have for each other.. and the fierce and determined love you have for your son.. You can not let us down James Kim.. You have become an inspiration to the many that do not post but derive strength and hope for what you are showing them.. You can win this war.. I look forward when we can talk and I do understand what it is like to have difficulty's communicating.. I and everyone else will be here long after this is over.. You have made life long friends here :) We all send you strength just as you right now are helping many..

[KeepThemAwayFromMe]

I don't know you but am beating an opiate addiction myself right now.  I can honestly say that if someone came to MY door w/a handful of pill I'ld welcome him in, rub his feet, make him tea and give him my wallet full of cash.
props to you sir for being so brave and bold.  I'm on day 2 of no vicodin - have been eating so many pills I've lost count.

man...I'm so proud of you
way way way to go brother.  you're a better man than I

`T

[stilltrying1965]

Thanks lesa it was of people like yourself that i sent him packing as i said i didnt want to let myself, my wife or my family but i didnt want to let the friends i have made here down also. I want this so bad i know it will stop eventually im not going to say iv cracked it just yet coz theres still a long way to go but i just want to be able to say im clean and have been for a while never to return. We need to beat this to get the energy to win the biggest war of all which you know what that is. Our Son. Paul has offered us some enormous support on that matter which i will talk to you later about. I cannot believe the help and encouragment i have been getting from yous all here i know i would never have done it without it. I would have crumbled this morning when he came to the door. Thats a fact. But i couldnt bear to let you and the others down. Ourselves also but we want to make yous proud of us and its only people who have been there that knows how hard it is to beat something like this.You know yourself and others who have sent messages or notes and comments this morning I thank yous all. Im having a bit trouble typing coz the bodys not doing what its told at the moment and the concentrations gone, but kim is helping with the typing. We are taking turns each when the letters start swimming in our eyes we swap over so that helps a bit. Ill speak to you soon lesa. Thanks again James and Kim