I just can't see any point in living

[HelpMe305]

I want to die

[HelpMe305]

I battle so much in my mind feeling why I just can't quit. I think I have something wrong in my head, every relationship I had, I never broke up with the guy, I don't know how to let go, I feel like this is a relationship with the drug and I don't know how to break up with it. I acknowledge I have a problem, to me that's the first step but I don't even know what to do next. My mom accused me of taking NyQuil to replace the high. Some people just don't understand.  My boyfriend just got cut from 240-180 oxy 30 n prices down here are climbing fast, I see signs to quit I just can't jump.

[dede2121]

Oh lord I could have written that. I feel the same way. I am down to only 2 percs a week and don't understand why i can't let go of that. But I do believe mine is depression. And as soon as insurance kicks in I am going to doctor. Are you able to go to doctor and have him put u on anti depressants?

[HelpMe305]

No, I don't have insurance, no offense to those that use anti depressants, but I've heard they can make my head worse.

[HelpMe305]

I've read that we use to cover underlying issues? Is that true? Am I trying to cover up something in my life?

[gnarly_1]

you can never give up hope things change in life right now your down trurt me worst things can happen my wife of 20 yr came down with cronic illness was bedridden for 5yrs I had 4 kids uder the age of 10 with no mom I had to quit my high paying job because of the hrs and put my tools on to make a living
it barley payed for her meds and we went under loosing a custom built home in the forest as time went on my 13 yr old daughter became a crack addict
and live in jail or on the street things change God healed my wife and my daughter found recovery in jail and is a successful mom we now have a modest house but we raised 5 kids in it yes we took on another kid as my wife healed life is not hopeless its about being abole to deal what life throw at you I dont know how people do it without God in the life bet he has delivered us out of each plight just go with the flow right now your down it happens just know with God there can be change my wife is back to her bubbly self I have 2 beautiful grand children I have my problems but I bring them to God nightly and know in the end he is in control you will get threw this and much more in your life life ant always fare but it is worth living........Gnarly    

[10356]

Hello HelpMe.. I'm sure grateful you posted today..You are not a failure.. Just going thru a rough patch. I'm so very sorry that you are hurting so bad, my heart gos out to you. My lil bro killed himself It was so painful still to this day. If he only realized that life changes it does not remain the same. what is bad now will turn around.You should call the Suicide Hot Line 1-800-784-2433 they will be able to speak with you and maybe hook you up. also check out some counseling they have emergency clinics and if nothing else go to the ER. I have found myself over the years in very depressing situations. from a being a homeless junkie to rape there is not much I have not experienced but even thou I have gone thru these things It always passed It always got better. Your life is so precious and although you may not think it people love you and would be devastated.. Go to a Dr. tell them how you are feeling. If you are going thru wd off drugs it is not unusual to feel depressed but not this depressed.. Please reach out to someone that can help you You deserve so much more then how you feel now... warm hugs.lesa