Aa
I'm in Trouble
This is a really hard post for me. I havent done anything,,yet. I guess you can say that in my head Ive pretty much relapsed. I feel like its only a matter of time before I take a pill. I cant seem to get any right now. Yes, I tried. I feel like I am in a downward spiral again. I have trouble getting up in the morning. I cant carry my weight with work. Im struggling in all areas. Im overwhelmed. Ive been to NA and I just sit there. People have noticed that in the past few weeks I dont seem to be "myself". All I want to do is sleep. I'm self medicating with Tylenol PM , I take it in the morning so I can go back to sleep and as soon as I get home to go back to sleep. I am enjoying some time with my hubby and we have been doing some things together. But all I want to do is sleep and not face the world. I dont know why I am doing this,,,again. Im medicated-Cymbalta, Lamictal and Seroquel. Ive been taking my meds although I have missed a few doses. I know. 253 days today. Im willing to throw that all away. I dont get it. What do I do now?
Just want you to know that I am thinking of you and you are a very special, kind person. Please stay strong.
Hugs
Pat
Hugs
Pat
Oh Girl, Your going to get thru this. Besides depression, I wonder if your hormones are a bit out of whack? Have you ask your gyno about that? Being a step parent with a diff x wife is no walk in the park, and trying for a new baby can also have it's emotional whoa's. Think Of it this way. This is sure to get resolved, but if you use that will complicate the baby making plans. Do everything medically to balance yourself and then maybe go see a therapist for the emotional. Hang in there, this is temporary . Sending lots of good energy and mountains of hugs.
i know you remember what kind of hell your detox was.
you gotta realize that no matter how you feel now, if you go get what you THINK you want (a pill) you are going to be thrown right back into the briar patch and will feel worse than you EVER have. you KNOW this. take a vacation. after 253 days clean, id say you deserve it.
you gotta realize that no matter how you feel now, if you go get what you THINK you want (a pill) you are going to be thrown right back into the briar patch and will feel worse than you EVER have. you KNOW this. take a vacation. after 253 days clean, id say you deserve it.
OH my sweet girl, i so feel your pain:( I am too going through similar struggles, the idea of battling my addiction for a lifetime is so freaking overwhelming to me. I get cravings everyday and look and find reasons to use and then the angel on the other side tells me NO. We do not have an option now do we? We need to just keep on fighting and pray that it will get easier with time. You have come such a long way, don't throw it all away, just think how you feel now over a mental relapse, imagine if you did relapse? NO WAY WE CANT!!!!! I am so proud of you for coming here for support and going to your husband, that just goes to show how much your sobriety means to you, you are a fighter my friend, don't give up. The depression is such a huge trigger, i know it all to well, try to get the depression under control and fight DAM IT.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
You will often her me say that we relapse mentally, emotionally and spiritually before we pick up the drug. If you are lucky enough to catch it, you can prevent it. And the good news is that you have caught it. The only thing a pill will do right now is make your life unmanageable. The guilt alone will drive you crazy. You have come to far and have learned too many lessons to throw it all away. You CAN get through this.
If you are taking medication then you have the type of depression that is a chemical imbalance. Good. that can be fixed. Often times the medication needs to be adjusted or changed. You should phone your doctor right away and get in to see him/her. Don't wait on this.
Second, I understand you sitting in the meetings and not talking. I did the same darn thing and the only person I hurt was me. I had to force myself to get involved and I did do that only because I was so afraid of what was out there if I relapsed. I had done several jail stints and several rehab stays and I knew death was the only thing I had not done. I forced myself to speak up and get involved and I don't regret that decision.
You are already showing signs of relapse by admittedly self-medicating to sleep. It is an escape mechanism and it is so dangerous. You don't have to run.
Please, please...if you can't talk at meetings then talk here or ask your doctor about private counseling or group counseling. Whatever is making you want to run can be dealt with. Please keep talking.
I'm sending hugs and prayers.....