Core issue for using

[worried878]

Does anyone here know why they used in the first place?  can u go back and pinpoint the reason or was it just a vague void that needed to be filled...or a chronic pain thing that slipped up on u?...I identified my trigger after quitting...one major one...but i do see now that i feel lows that i do not like but it is de ja vu...i felt this way before and used pills to stay happy and on top of things...chronic pain...yes...but i will take responsibiltiy for abusing for the high and the happines it brought,,,getting alot done....chronic pain breeds depression tho so it is hard to know for sure which came first.....i wonder about my mental status before pills...where was i at exactly?

[avisg]

Pain was the beginning but then I found things did not bother me nearly as much it my pills so I started using them to escape from the things that made me unhappy.

[worried878]

same scenario.....started viewing the world with rose colored glasses...hurt..pop a pill...feel bad..pop a pill...depressed..pop a pill...get up and start the day...pop a pill

[confused456]

Pain, and as avisg said, noticed it hid the emotional baggage of life, so even though I never took more than prescribed, I did not always take only for pain, there was way more times that it was for emotional pain than physical.

[joann1975]

I agree w/pretty much all of the above but I am still trying to work and figure out what the emotional pain stems from b/c I have always had some type of vice be it cigs, pot, food, exercise, shopping, pills, etc. I think the reason this time I got so addicted to the pills (b/c I had taken them in the past and when i would run out that was just it i was out) I was having some post partum issues and I was numbing that and I was thinking there is no way I can be a mother and wife and how can I be responsible for this baby etc. So I just kept shoving those feelings down further and further with lortabs. It is really starting to set in that I spent the first 18 months of his life totally loaded. But I can't look back I can't change what I have already done. Whooo....didn't know all this was going to come pouring out!

[worried878]

I knew i used for pain but i abused for emotional reasons and those r what i wanted to figure out...after i was clean they started bombarding me.....my triggers

[confused456]

Joann....you are right. You can't change the past but you can the future!! You can get through this!! You are a phenomenal person and you want this so stick to it and know that we are here to help any way we can!!

[worried878]

yey...looking back is only good so we can remeber not to do it again...confused...where did u get that pic with the mouth taped shut?

[joann1975]

oh for the record I did start using for legit pain issues...multiple ones at that. but then it turned into abuse.

[joann1975]

confused...thank you...you are going to give me the "bighead" with all these compliments today...then I am going to say to my husband but confused456 says ....
LMAO! ok now i am getting sleepy starting to not make sense!

[tommm70]

For me it was an epiphany, I used to look down on the guys around me that I knew were addicts. That was until I fell into addiction myself. Being injured and in pain, I just kept feeling I needed pills. Then eventually I think I made up the pain in my mind just to get more.
I wish drug addiction was more understood as a disease, as many still look at it as a failure, or worse.

So basically, I just started to take more than I was prescribed to to keep up the high. Even when I got better, I just kept it up.

Man, what an ordeal, but in the end I think I learned so much about myself and addiction.

[worried878]

yey...sometimes i feel like i learned some things about myself post addiction and thru the addiction process that i would have never learned....not worth the hassle to learn all this but still something positive to take with me

[tommm70]

Ya, and thanks for your comment on my other post. I am not gonna die with my injury, I am gonna suck it up for now and see how it goes.
ugh, I hate these temptations, I hate it. This sucks so bad

[toomanytimes]

I started so young-and so long ago, but i remember it well.  We had moved to a new place, my dad had just gotten out of the Air Force, and i didn't know anyone-the first person to befriend me had white cross...i think i always used to cover feelings that were unpleasant.

[confused456]

Joann.....LOL!! That is funny!! You can blame me and that is fine by me!! LOL

Worried: ummmmmm I got it on line

[worried878]

I got my self in a mess the other day with my big mouth...i may need to practice the taping up the mouth thing!  LOL

[confused456]

I think I read that but you are one that is VERY RARELY the kind that does that so I really would not worry about it too much. You are always sweet, caring, and totally helpful!!!!!

[worried878]

nope...i am outspoken and have a humongous mouth that gets me in trouble alot!  LOL

[kimmieb]

hey, girlfriend....i think what happened with me is that i initially took the lortabs strictly on occasion, one whenever i had a migraine, along with my migraine meds....and somehow, someway, they crept up on me....i'm probably one of the very few on this forum who ever abused lortabs for the LOW (lol)...i mean, i wanted to feel drowsy and relaxed and sleepy, not high and energetic and like i could do anything after i took a pill....eventually though, as emotional pain crept into the scenario and not just physical pain, i realized that hey, i could NUMB that pain (feel drowsy, relaxed and sleepy) by taking a lortab or two....and the rest as they say is history....emotional upheaval (e.g., marital disagreements, life stressors, kids!) was/is my biggest trigger, makes me want to take one even though i have no physical pain, no physical reason for taking one....for me, abuse was strictly triggered by emotional and mental pain and stress and aggravation....i just wanted to escape into a better world....a world where all pain was numbed

[worried878]

hey girlfriend....was gonna email u tonight...will do right now...have missed out daily emails (:

[malenurse57]

Pain from an auto accident and arthritis. Then for the energy to face the day and it just kept growing and growing.
God bless

[kimmieb]

me too :-)  been so darned busy lately....too busy....would like to stop the mery-go-round and get off anytime now!

[worried878]

i sen u an email to ur home address

[SableZen]

The link between chronic pain and depression is really interesting I think. Especially when you look at it biochemically...

Have you ever wondered why some people in chronic pain can take an opiate and not become addicted? While someone not in chronic pain taking the same amount for the same most certainly would? And why there is such a fuzzy line between ending up with dependency or addiction?

Increased pain perception/decreased pain perception, and depression/euphoria share the same common cells in the brain. The same receptors to the same neurons in the same part of the brain... It's all so inter-related and all goes hand-in-hand. And taking an opiate for example will almost instantly let you change either one.

But how surprising is it really that depression is biochemical in nature when we can so easily take a pill and magically become non-depressed within 30 minutes and observe that it is indeed the way it is? Why is it so hard for people to accept seeing depression (or other mental illnesses) and addiction as biochemical diseases, that happen to have further impact on us socially because it occurs in the brain?

I'm just thankful that finally, science is just now getting to the point of scratching the surface of understanding psychology. It's been like living in the dark ages when it came to psychology until now.

Fascinating stuff. It's just too bad we'll never be able to understand the brain completely: "If the human brain were simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it."

[confused456]

Worried: LOL......your mouth gets you in trouble?? Hmmmm....I must be missing a lot!! LOL