Aa
Jumping off methadone
First let me tell you a little bit about me. I'm 50 years old, male and have been on methadone for the last 10 years. I'm an alcoholic who quit drinking 29 years ago. I don't do any other recreational drugs whatsoever as opiates have scratched that itch quite well. A few months back after tapering down from 80 mg a day to 20 mg per day , I signed out of the clinic and walked away. I was determined that with the small stockpile I had at home I could continue to wean myself off. I called a good friend of mine who has also been on methadone for over 10 years , although not at any particular Clinic and told her I was done. She happened to be horribly dope sick that day and begged me for a few wafers. I personally have great empathy for other Junkies who are sick and trying to keep it together, hold a job, pay a mortgage Etc ...
To make a long story short I picked the wrong time and the wrong parking lot to meet my lifelong friend in and soon I was in jail. I didn't stay in jail long as I do have some savings and means to post bond. I hired the best attorneys that I could and continued to cut my dose down as my court date approached. Last Wednesday was my court date and my attorneys worked out a no felony deal that knocked the drug charge down to a misdemeanor and more importantly the gun charge down to a misdemeanor (I live in a state that allows registered guns in your car) I also got 12 months of drug tested probation and it's because of this that I decided to jump off and go clean from 10mg of methadone a day. I've been doing opiates for 17 years and I've went the same route that a lot of you guys have. A bad back injury led to a prescription of Lortabs then to Percocet to Roxy's, oxy's, lollipops, pain patches and smack if nothing else was around. My last dose was Wednesday morning(10mg) a week ago. I was drug tested the day after I went to court , called in at random they said.. what they really wanted was a Baseline so that they could see if the numbers went down nanograms/ decaliter wise. Therefore I don't have the luxury of taking benzos to sleep or even the most innocuous of prescription meds if they're not prescribed to me, it would be a violation Of course and I'd end up further entwined with the justice system. Here is how it's went:
I noticed nothing Thursday except for anxiety.
Friday was a bit worse but still nothing I couldn't work through.
Saturday I could tell I was going into the beginnings of a somewhat serious withdrawal. I didn't sleep at all Saturday night and the joint pain centered itself in both ankles. Sunday I knew I was in trouble, the nausea started , digestive troubles bubbled away painfully in my gut and sleep escaped me no matter what I tried. I was sweating like a w**** in church and more anxious than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. It was a very rough day.
Monday it appeared, at first at least , was going to be a great day . Somehow Sunday night I had managed to sleep four and a half hours and my mind had tricked itself into thinking the worst was over . I Knew by noon that it was certainly not over. The mystery sleep had simply been one of those strange gifts that happened from time to time and not anything more. I decided instead of being crestfallen about the situation I would instead be grateful that somehow, somewhere, someone had allowed me that rest. No matter how rough Monday was I resolved myself to be in a grateful State of Mind for the nearly five hours of blissful sleep that I'd received. It's currently Tuesday evening and I'm feeling pretty rough. my face is so flushed , my body stinks , my ankles feel like they've been run over by semi truck, I am utterly exhausted but it's the small things that keep me moving. I want to be clean. I want to put this hellish chapter behind me. I no longer want to be a Slave to the Grind of this disease The constant Hustle and Flow of opiate addiction has left me exhausted emotionally, spiritually and financially. Wish me luck, say a prayer and hopefully you'll hear from me again
Regards , Dave
To make a long story short I picked the wrong time and the wrong parking lot to meet my lifelong friend in and soon I was in jail. I didn't stay in jail long as I do have some savings and means to post bond. I hired the best attorneys that I could and continued to cut my dose down as my court date approached. Last Wednesday was my court date and my attorneys worked out a no felony deal that knocked the drug charge down to a misdemeanor and more importantly the gun charge down to a misdemeanor (I live in a state that allows registered guns in your car) I also got 12 months of drug tested probation and it's because of this that I decided to jump off and go clean from 10mg of methadone a day. I've been doing opiates for 17 years and I've went the same route that a lot of you guys have. A bad back injury led to a prescription of Lortabs then to Percocet to Roxy's, oxy's, lollipops, pain patches and smack if nothing else was around. My last dose was Wednesday morning(10mg) a week ago. I was drug tested the day after I went to court , called in at random they said.. what they really wanted was a Baseline so that they could see if the numbers went down nanograms/ decaliter wise. Therefore I don't have the luxury of taking benzos to sleep or even the most innocuous of prescription meds if they're not prescribed to me, it would be a violation Of course and I'd end up further entwined with the justice system. Here is how it's went:
I noticed nothing Thursday except for anxiety.
Friday was a bit worse but still nothing I couldn't work through.
Saturday I could tell I was going into the beginnings of a somewhat serious withdrawal. I didn't sleep at all Saturday night and the joint pain centered itself in both ankles. Sunday I knew I was in trouble, the nausea started , digestive troubles bubbled away painfully in my gut and sleep escaped me no matter what I tried. I was sweating like a w**** in church and more anxious than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. It was a very rough day.
Monday it appeared, at first at least , was going to be a great day . Somehow Sunday night I had managed to sleep four and a half hours and my mind had tricked itself into thinking the worst was over . I Knew by noon that it was certainly not over. The mystery sleep had simply been one of those strange gifts that happened from time to time and not anything more. I decided instead of being crestfallen about the situation I would instead be grateful that somehow, somewhere, someone had allowed me that rest. No matter how rough Monday was I resolved myself to be in a grateful State of Mind for the nearly five hours of blissful sleep that I'd received. It's currently Tuesday evening and I'm feeling pretty rough. my face is so flushed , my body stinks , my ankles feel like they've been run over by semi truck, I am utterly exhausted but it's the small things that keep me moving. I want to be clean. I want to put this hellish chapter behind me. I no longer want to be a Slave to the Grind of this disease The constant Hustle and Flow of opiate addiction has left me exhausted emotionally, spiritually and financially. Wish me luck, say a prayer and hopefully you'll hear from me again
Regards , Dave
Very sad to read this, Dave. Addiction is such a powerful disease and many do not see a way out.
You have chosen to exercise the "power of choice" we are each given, unlike your friend, who wasn't able to find her way. Perhaps digging into a recovery program that offers healing and restoration will bring you a peace your friend was unable to find~
You have chosen to exercise the "power of choice" we are each given, unlike your friend, who wasn't able to find her way. Perhaps digging into a recovery program that offers healing and restoration will bring you a peace your friend was unable to find~
1 Comments
@Kansas
Thanks for your kind words and good advice..
Thanks for your kind words and good advice..
Dave your a Trooper! Great job so far! Methadone is the toughest kick out there & you are doing it ! It's too bad you couldn't get a little lower but 10 mgs. isn't too awful a jump. (I jumped off 28). It stores in your bones & tissue so it takes a while for the body to excrete.
Congrats too, on the sleep. That was a gift. It's quite possible you'll have more. My advice is to push yourself to exercise (just walking in the sun will do for now). Drink lots of pure water & take hot baths with epsom salts. After this, lie down & put on a youtube relaxation meditation and just breathe deeply & follow your breath. This will help with the anxiety & might get you some of that sleep. Start telling yourself that you can & that you are healing (which you are). Stay the course, the acute withdrawals will start to subside in the next week or so.
L-Theanine will have a similar effect to Clonidine. A Cal/Mag supplement will also calm you & may help with muscle aches. If you have RLS (awful symptom), there are formulas made for this available at places like Walmart. If you can't manage food, try protein shakes.
If you want to stay clean, get rid of all those numbers & determine not to see any of your using friends again. (Take it from one who knows. It's the only way).
Best of Luck Dave, Hold Fast.
Congrats too, on the sleep. That was a gift. It's quite possible you'll have more. My advice is to push yourself to exercise (just walking in the sun will do for now). Drink lots of pure water & take hot baths with epsom salts. After this, lie down & put on a youtube relaxation meditation and just breathe deeply & follow your breath. This will help with the anxiety & might get you some of that sleep. Start telling yourself that you can & that you are healing (which you are). Stay the course, the acute withdrawals will start to subside in the next week or so.
L-Theanine will have a similar effect to Clonidine. A Cal/Mag supplement will also calm you & may help with muscle aches. If you have RLS (awful symptom), there are formulas made for this available at places like Walmart. If you can't manage food, try protein shakes.
If you want to stay clean, get rid of all those numbers & determine not to see any of your using friends again. (Take it from one who knows. It's the only way).
Best of Luck Dave, Hold Fast.
You know what to do next, my friend. You know what to do. My wish for you is getting out of your comfort zone and into action.
COMMUNITY LEADER
"Go with a spirit that fears nothing" Jimi's words took me thru alot of trials~
Great comments. Very visceral and poetic. Glad you are posting! And even more glad you are going back to the program. Fyi, I go to AA even though my drug of choice is norco (hydrocodone.) Turns out, it covers all substances, and it becomes not about that and living life as it is, totally unfettered. I'm glad for you. Others will chime in, too. It's just been SO slow around here.
1 Comments
Thank you for checking in on me from time to time period it's comforting to know that there's at least one person listening. Hopefully I can document this experience so that in the future some other person in need can find it, like I found @BamaIndian on here a few weeks back. Thanks again friend
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