Kicking a Terrible Habit...Need Help

[SmokeyMcDude]

   I smoked my last balloon at 4A.M. last night. I was doing about 3 a day for 5 months. I saw a doctor today and unfortunately, she was not very sympathetic to my situation. (I do live in Utah and most citizens, let alone MD's are Mormon so I wasn't expecting much of anything.) I have all the workings for the Thomas Recipe, Librium and 1 Xanax pill (from earlier scripts), Mineral Suppliments, Fish Oil, L-Tyrosine, B-6 and even some Melatonin to help me sleep. (which I doubt I will) I am feeling totally and utterly drained and my entire body aches, I have another balloon but I really don't want to get into it. I am literally inches away from the toilet trying to drop it in.
   Anyway, I was never an addict of anything before I had hand surgery about 7 months ago. I would describe myself as having a hippie mentallity (weed, beer, LSD and mushrooms are all ok) but when I got a Vallium script I was introduced to a world I'd never experienced before (and wish I hadn't) Needless to say the Vallium didn't last long and heroin is becoming ever popular in my state and also easier to get a hold of. For 10$ a balloon I thought I could spend everyday getting peeled back with no problem. WRONG! I felt like I was slowly slipping away and I couldn't get a grip on my life anymore, I haven't lost my job (yet) and just want to get back to my old life-loving self. I have lined up many trips and festivals this summer and don't want to be dependent on smack to have fun at Telluride. (which is more fun that this brown **** anyway.)
Basically I have some questions:
-Does booze help the withdrawal symptoms? I never had a problem with alcohol as I have a very sensitive stomach but would a couple of beers calm me down? I would think that and Librium would be a recipe for sleep but I don't want to over do it.
-Also does weed help at all? I have a nice bong and a satchel to burn through but I don't want to exacerbate my symptoms.
-When should I take my Xanax? After 2 days or on the 2nd day? Basically when is going to be the worst because it's really bad right now and I don't know how it could get worse.
Any secrets that the Thomas recipe hasn't told me would be greatly appreciated, I'm getting really down on myself and considered shooting a lethal dose rather than going through this hell on more than one occasion. Any help would be appreciated.

[bmc1976]

Just keep going strong. You are doing great! Once you beat addiction, you learn that nothing can stand in  your way! It will get better. Just hang in there. If it weren't for withdrawals we would probably continue to use. It's just our body letting us know that what we were taking can kill us. You can beat this! Best of luck!
Brian

[SmokeyMcDude]

Today is terrible. Way worse than yesterday and I barely slept a wink last night. I just forced a banana down my throat and did my mineral suppliment, B-vitamin, fish oil and a librium. I have a feeling I'm going to be throwing that banana up any second now. Thank you for the support, I would be high right now if it weren't for this forum.

[cathy5841]

hey how are you this morning?

[feohmoon]

Just wanted to say hello, you are doing the right thing...this will be difficult but not lengthy,  Hang in there...smoke some weed if you are into that...listen to any music that makes you feel good...no alcohol though...too hard on your body and your mentality,
Do what you were planning with the vitamins, supplements, etc. and you should be good Monday.
Please continue posting....this forum is a lifesaver.
Peace

[cathy5841]

hey smokey, i hope you are getting some much needed rest.  i was just checkin in on you.  let me know how you are.
cathy

[newmanagment]

be easy smoke, enjoy the bath. n hold ur head up bro, u gonna come thru... much love