Kicking a Terrible Habit...Need Help

[SmokeyMcDude]

   I smoked my last balloon at 4A.M. last night. I was doing about 3 a day for 5 months. I saw a doctor today and unfortunately, she was not very sympathetic to my situation. (I do live in Utah and most citizens, let alone MD's are Mormon so I wasn't expecting much of anything.) I have all the workings for the Thomas Recipe, Librium and 1 Xanax pill (from earlier scripts), Mineral Suppliments, Fish Oil, L-Tyrosine, B-6 and even some Melatonin to help me sleep. (which I doubt I will) I am feeling totally and utterly drained and my entire body aches, I have another balloon but I really don't want to get into it. I am literally inches away from the toilet trying to drop it in.
   Anyway, I was never an addict of anything before I had hand surgery about 7 months ago. I would describe myself as having a hippie mentallity (weed, beer, LSD and mushrooms are all ok) but when I got a Vallium script I was introduced to a world I'd never experienced before (and wish I hadn't) Needless to say the Vallium didn't last long and heroin is becoming ever popular in my state and also easier to get a hold of. For 10$ a balloon I thought I could spend everyday getting peeled back with no problem. WRONG! I felt like I was slowly slipping away and I couldn't get a grip on my life anymore, I haven't lost my job (yet) and just want to get back to my old life-loving self. I have lined up many trips and festivals this summer and don't want to be dependent on smack to have fun at Telluride. (which is more fun that this brown **** anyway.)
Basically I have some questions:
-Does booze help the withdrawal symptoms? I never had a problem with alcohol as I have a very sensitive stomach but would a couple of beers calm me down? I would think that and Librium would be a recipe for sleep but I don't want to over do it.
-Also does weed help at all? I have a nice bong and a satchel to burn through but I don't want to exacerbate my symptoms.
-When should I take my Xanax? After 2 days or on the 2nd day? Basically when is going to be the worst because it's really bad right now and I don't know how it could get worse.
Any secrets that the Thomas recipe hasn't told me would be greatly appreciated, I'm getting really down on myself and considered shooting a lethal dose rather than going through this hell on more than one occasion. Any help would be appreciated.

[cocobeanlisa]

Have your girlfriend go rent the movie "Things we Lost In the Fire"

After seeing that I think you will want to just ride this out, There's no soft easy way.

Yes you will hurt, sweat and feel like hell, but the good news is it will pass.  And when it is over you will feel like your in heaven (again)... Hold on and have your g/f help you out on this.  You will need lots of soup, ice cream, oj and gatoraide..hold on and yes stay away from all booze, it will only make the stomach worse....

This will pass, the less stuff (drugs) you put in your body now the less that you will have to detox from... And suboxone for me was not addictive, If I take more than I should I got sick to my stomach and never got high, so I never wanted to take more.

cocobean

[Mawmaw3]

Smokey, 2 years ago my daughter, who lives more than 300 miles from me and her  (step)dad, called and asked if we could come for a visit. Since mine and hubby's anniversary (24th...2nd marriage for both of us) would occur during the time she wanted to see us, we naively thought perhaps she was throwing us a party. Huh. It turned out she wanted to tell us she had been addicted to Oxy for years, and had recently been going to a methadone clinic to detox. Boy, did that take the wind out of our sails. But you know what? That long trip was worth it. She said that when she was finally able to confess to us what had been going on, it made it much easier for her when she went through the wd's from the Methadone, even though she was so far away from us.

And something else...both hubby and I had felt that something wasn't 'right' with her for quite some time. When she and her husband and my granddaughter came to visit us, hubby and I thought it was strange how she and her hubby left the house to 'go for drives' several times a day and left the granddaughter with us...now we know that they were going somewhere to do their DOC.

So yeah...sometimes Mom's DO know something is up with their kids, even if they aren't sure what it is. Maybe you should fess up to your Mom...you might be surprised how supportive she will be.

Mamaw

[mommy52713]

just reading your post and want to let you know i am so proud of you i know this can be a very trying time but it does get better. think of how far you have come dont look back you can do this . keep posting and let us know you are ok . holly

[bmc1976]

Don't feel selfish. Almost all of us have been in your position or are there right now. This thread is for you! My mom did the same thing when I was detoxing. Man it sucked! I didn't have any of the vitamins laying around or I'm sure she would have questioned me. I just said I had the flu. Well that rain really nails that walk you were gonna take!! Just kidding. But man you have to try. I swear it will help. Maybe tomorrow. Take care and keep posting. We are here to help you get through this!!
brian

[SmokeyMcDude]

My mom just stopped by for a suprise visit which did not go too well. "what are all these vitamins?" "why didn't you tell me you were sick?" "you seem agitated." God that wasn't fun. I don't think she knows much of what's really going on though, just told her I had the flu. She never comes to my apartment, especially without letting me know as she lives about an hour away. It was strange and I could tell that her mother's intuition knew that something was going on that i wasn't telling her. As far as a weather update, it started raining and the thunderstorm is at least entertaining. The librium helps although I had to take 15mg to even feel it. I just can't get past the fact that tomorrow is going to be worse than today. Ugh...
Anyway, I feel selfish and would like to know what's going on in your lives? Anything exciting?

[cathy5841]

i see you still have your sense of humor...thats a plus...keep it and keep posting