Kicking a Terrible Habit...Need Help

[SmokeyMcDude]

   I smoked my last balloon at 4A.M. last night. I was doing about 3 a day for 5 months. I saw a doctor today and unfortunately, she was not very sympathetic to my situation. (I do live in Utah and most citizens, let alone MD's are Mormon so I wasn't expecting much of anything.) I have all the workings for the Thomas Recipe, Librium and 1 Xanax pill (from earlier scripts), Mineral Suppliments, Fish Oil, L-Tyrosine, B-6 and even some Melatonin to help me sleep. (which I doubt I will) I am feeling totally and utterly drained and my entire body aches, I have another balloon but I really don't want to get into it. I am literally inches away from the toilet trying to drop it in.
   Anyway, I was never an addict of anything before I had hand surgery about 7 months ago. I would describe myself as having a hippie mentallity (weed, beer, LSD and mushrooms are all ok) but when I got a Vallium script I was introduced to a world I'd never experienced before (and wish I hadn't) Needless to say the Vallium didn't last long and heroin is becoming ever popular in my state and also easier to get a hold of. For 10$ a balloon I thought I could spend everyday getting peeled back with no problem. WRONG! I felt like I was slowly slipping away and I couldn't get a grip on my life anymore, I haven't lost my job (yet) and just want to get back to my old life-loving self. I have lined up many trips and festivals this summer and don't want to be dependent on smack to have fun at Telluride. (which is more fun that this brown **** anyway.)
Basically I have some questions:
-Does booze help the withdrawal symptoms? I never had a problem with alcohol as I have a very sensitive stomach but would a couple of beers calm me down? I would think that and Librium would be a recipe for sleep but I don't want to over do it.
-Also does weed help at all? I have a nice bong and a satchel to burn through but I don't want to exacerbate my symptoms.
-When should I take my Xanax? After 2 days or on the 2nd day? Basically when is going to be the worst because it's really bad right now and I don't know how it could get worse.
Any secrets that the Thomas recipe hasn't told me would be greatly appreciated, I'm getting really down on myself and considered shooting a lethal dose rather than going through this hell on more than one occasion. Any help would be appreciated.

[bmc1976]

I know what you mean. I felt the same way! I've been through withdrawals more than once. When I was able to get out for a walk, it made a huge difference.
Just do what works for you. You are doing great! Hang in there. All of this will be in the past soon. You can make it.

[SmokeyMcDude]

I can't even get off the couch. Or my Lair (as I like to call it) I have everything right next to me. Pills, water, an orange for later, laptop and TV. If the Librium gives me some sort of relief I'll try to make it out for a walk, although it's a very dreary day today. It's making me feel worse to look out the window. Not quite sunny but not quite raining, just dull and cloudy. Thank god Cash Cab is on or I'd be going crazy.

[cathy5841]

smokey, you can do this...thats why we are here...when you get weak we just drag yoy lol  this forum really saved me too, keep referring to the list i gave you last nite...you will make it.
cathy

[eagle1950]

No matter how you feel this second you are so very close to outrunning that monkey! And it is so worth it. Benadryl helped my sleep, also sleepytime tea (celestial seasonings) and melatonin.....warm/hot showers baths. Heating pad for RLS and abdominal cramps - I would find a couple more benzo's if I were you, but schools of thought differ.....use the immodium - smoothie type yogurt shakes helped me - also ensure liquid nutrition (or Walgreens brand) are almost total dietary supplement for short term. Lots of people here to help you - Cathys post above just about says it all - good luck to you

[bandnmom]

Sorry you are felling so crappy but I promise it does get better and when it is said and done you will see it was so worth it! Stay strong the worst is almost over!

[bmc1976]

Another thing that really helps is exercise. I know that's the last thing on your mind right now but just a little walk works wonders. I was addicted to pills but I'm sure it will have the same affect. It's hard to muster up the energy, but trust me on this one!