~Methadone 6+yrs for Migraines - I WANT OFF~

[slopez27]

I have been on Methadone 2 * 10mg every night at bedtime. I started taking on my doc's recommendation. I wish I would have listened to myself. This medicine scared me. I started it & I was thanking GOD & my doc because my Migraines were 100% gone. For the first time in years I had no pain!

After being on it for so long I want off. I stepped down to 1 pill in 1/2 pill doses. I did fine with most of the symptoms. When I got to 1 pill I started waking up in the morning & my brain was going 90 mph about stupid things - Like: lint, where does it come from, how does it get trapped in the lint trap, why do you only find it after your clothes go in the dryer??? = tooth picks - I wonder how many toothpicks you get out of one tree... Just stupid things that came at me so fast & made no sense. I could not get my brain to shut up!!! I would lay in bed for 45 minutes & I could not will myself up & out of bed to get ready for work.

I went back up to 1.5 pills. I have been here for 3 months. I am scared to go back down. I have no mental history or issues. I have a clean bill of health other than the Methadone. I do take Flexeril to sleep at night. I want off this medicine so bad. I am a Kaiser member. Kaiser wanted to give me Prozac... NO THANK YOU! They also wanted me to go to Group Therapy to help me deal with getting off this medicine. I have a very supportive family & friends. I don't need to talk to anyone> I just need to get this drug out of my system. I have tried to quit cold turkey in the past. I do good for about 3 hours & then I start with the mind games I play with myself. It *****! I don't like the way the lack of Methadone forces me to play mind games.

I want help getting off. Kaiser seems unable to help unless I see a Psych doc. I don't want any of that in my file! I have heard horrible things about what happens at Kaiser once that stuff gets written in your file. Every time you are seen or you call for advice they ask you " Are you thinking of harming yourself or others?" At least that is what I have heard... I could be wrong. I am just scared & want off desperately!

ADVISE???

[avisg]

I dont blame you I can not believe they used methadone for migraines with all of the non opiates choices these days .Getting off of methadone is SO hard luckly you are on a small dose but as you have already found out even at a low dose it H ell to come of off .I would go back to one you most likely will have to deal with WD then I would stay at 1 for a while until you have gotten where all the WD and a few more weeks before you drop again .I am sorry you are going threw this but you can get off it but is not going to be painless .hang in there pick a day to go down and stick with it we will be there to help you threw.

[slopez27]

I can deal with the shaking & sweating & even the cramps. It's the mind stuff I can't deal with. I feel like I am going crazy.

[avisg]

I think you are going to have to go threw it unless you are going to spend the rest of your life on it .I dont think theres any way around it otherwise

[krissy30]

I feel so bad for you.  I can't believe they'd put you on Methadone for Migraines.  Like Avis said, all the other meds they have now.  And you are so young.  It's such a hard drug to get off of.  You will find lots of support on this site.  By the way, all that weird head/brain activity is what drives me insane also.  It will get me so freaky sometimes I just want to bang my head on the wall.

[slopez27]

We tried about 10 medicines before putting me on Methadone. It's been so long that I can't remember all the names like I use to. I know we tried, Maxalt, Neurontin, Topomax, Immitrex, Morpheine and a blood pressure medicine. I use to go get shots of Morphine or Demorahl. They would add an anti inflamatory & an anti nausea to my shot too.

I tried so many drugs. Some worked & some didn't. The ones that worked gave me horrible side effects. The Neorontin & Topopax did great but they turned me into a zombie. I forgot how to go pee. I would sit on the toilet for 20 minutes & nothing would come out. So - My doc took me off them because I had Kidney/liver issues! Whatever that means.

I know she meant well when she put me on Methadone. She saved my life. I was so far out in left field when I was going from medicine to medicine. I saw a neurologist. I was getting shots of BOTOX in my neck & back. I got steroid injections in the back of my head & shoulders. Nothing worked. I saw a chiropractor & an accupuncturist - I WAS DESPERATE !!!

I have a 7 year old daughter. She & my husband are my world. I just want to be me again. Back to the person I was when Ashleigh was 2. I miss that person. I feel like she is lost forever. I feel like hate is all I am full of. I know this is not me!

[Prospero73]

I'm confused.  From your two posts, this sounds like a legitimate use of methadone for pain.  You haven't increased the dosage for over six years, you tried other things first, and it brought you relief.  Are there other side effects that you haven't mentioned, that keep you from being yourself?  On such a relatively low dose, I am sure you will be able to get off it if you give it enough time and put up with the mental and physical discomforts.  If the migraines return, would you go back on it again?  

I support your effort entirely, especially as you are so young.  I'm just being the devil's advocate because I am curious what levels of opiate use can be considered legitimate.  I have a relative who suffers from pancreatic cancer, among other serious conditions, and he was given 3-6 months over two years ago, and has been in and out of hospice several times.  His morphine dosage by this time is around 300 mg/day, and although he is presently ambulatory and reasonably alert, he will be on morphine for the rest of his life, which at 74 is probably not too long.  If he should make a miraculous recovery, he would have a serious addiction problem, but as it is, that is the least of his problems.

[vicki595]

Hi~ Yes...I'm wondering some things,also.  First,you poor thing. I do understand completely how you ended up here. But,here's my question: Do you think the migraines are gone now?  What will you do when you get one,after being off the methadone? Can you go back to the doctor who prescribes for you?
I think there are some non addictive meds that can help you so you don't suffer so much.

Vicki

[gnarly_1]

HI I was also prescribed methadone for pain and was on it 6 1/2yrs I had a fallout with my pain management dr and wound up at the local methadone clinic my use spiraled up to 150ml at the clinic...but ive been clean 188days now...coming off methadone has its own can of worms to deal with....it is doable but difficult a lot of people 1/4 the pills when tapering but it sounds like the physical symptoms haven't been your problem your experiencing the" mental mind screw "part of the withdrawal methadone my not get you high per/say but it defiantly makes the world a smoother place to live...once your at a low dose or off completely life comes at you at 100 miles an hour and in tec/na/color it seams impossible to quite ones mind...makes getting to sleep hard to...this is all very normal coming off methadone try not to get discouraged it dose get better with time but in the beginning it can be pritty ruff getting use to your mind coming back on line ...AFTERCARE helps a lot weather it be N/A or a substance abuse conslor but you need to proses your thoughts...without aftercare I wouldn't have made it ....it will teach you tools you can use to help with the racing thoughts and the rest of the mind screw you go thew.....it also gives you someone to talk thats been thew it and understand what your going thew...even the most supportive family member cant relate to what your feeling you need someone that can....I hope this helps you good luck and God bless....Gnarly      

[krissy30]

Again, I just feel so bad for you.....Methadone is such a severe opiate just for migraines.  Your must have been debilitating.  I agree with a lot of what gnarly says.  And I too along with vicky wonder what will you do when the migraines return..  

My mother and I suffer from migraines.  Midrin is a great one.  And I found Isollyl to be a great one as well.  But, Isolly contains barbituates, so if you have an addictive personality, I would try the Midrin first.  But, as long as the Isollyl are not abused and taken prn (as needed) then you should be ok with them.  It doesn't sound like you are an addict per say, just put on a very drastic medication..   I am glad you want to get off of it, the longer you are on the worse the long term effects are and the harder it is to stop.  

The industry is always coming out with new medications all the time so I am sure there is one out there for you.  I am just flabbergasted that they went right to Methadone and didn't try an ordinary pain pill first....or maybe they did?  I am just a bit confused about this.  I really feel for you and wish you lots of luck!

[slopez27]

We did try lots of different medicines for a little over 2 years. After trying the usual items I was given Methadone. I know my doctor saved my sanity. I am just hoping to get off so I can go back to the "me" I was before Methadone. My daughter was 2 when I went on it. I can't remember half of her life after 2. This sickens me. I can't get those memories back. I don't want to loose any more memories of her. This is one reason I want off. The other reason I want off is - What happens if I loose my medical coverage or I am unable to get my Methadone for some reason - I start to go through withdrawl... I won't be able to deal with it. I have tried. I make it a few hours before the mind games start taking their toll on me. I was very concerned before I went on the meth... I just wish I would have been told more about the adverse effects when you try to get off. And Kaiser does not do Detox like I want/need. For them it is all a mental health issue. SO you go to group & talk while you are going through withdrawl... That just won't work for me. I need much more help.. Not talking but teaching & helping. Almost like an overnight place. Like St. Helena in Calistoga. I spoke with them & the program sounds perfect for me. I just need to come up with the $3,000.00 to pay to get off this stupid drug. I don't have that kind of money lying around. I am starting to think that Methadone will always be a part of me & I will never get off it.

[my_mayberry]

well if methadone is the only thing that works for you, why are you wanting off it? i mean i would be scared to take the drug also...but if it is still working and you aren't abusing it, why get off it? i mean if your migraines are stable and you want to try reducing your dose slowly and see what happens, that's probably not a bad idea.

i would just be affraid that the migraines would return.

[slopez27]

I just don't see the point in continually taking it if I am no longer suffering from the Migraines. I saw a chiropractor a while back & he was able to fix my neck. Since then I have been wonderful & have not suffered at all!!!  I just want off

[krissy30]

You need to get off that crap ASAP.  It has caused me severe emotional and psychological problems.  It's worse than Heroin and should only be used short - term.  

I know exactly how you feel and again, I just feel so badly for you.  I don't remember my life for the 6 years I was on it.  In fact I had to have my gallbladder removed (not b/c of methadone) and at the time was on 160mg I was in severe pain and they kept injecting me with morphine, the anethesiologist said that the amt of methadone I was on was equal to 80mg of morphine I had been taking every day!  I got so scared, I mean what if I was in a terrible accident, nothing would help my pain.  He finally just sedated me, and after surgery I had a dilaudin pain box. :)  But, it was very scary to say the least and that's what prompted me to want off.

Slopez, please don't give up, I also found chiropractic medicine helped with many of my migraine prob as well.  Keep on looking into detox programs and I am sure you will find one, you should be able to even have the clinic you are at put you on a very safe and pain free taper.

[slopez27]

Thank you for your support! Sometimes I feel like I am stupid for wanting off and for trying to get off. My biggest issue is that I don't see why I should be stuck on this medicine when I no longer need it. That is like taking Birth Control (not for hormone therapy) after you have a hysterectomy. Pointless!

I have very few headaches & they are never as bad as they once were. I am in a much better place in my life and the stress I was under when I was put on Methadone is gone. I have a very supportive family & my two (2) bosses are willing to help me in any way that they can. They see how much I am struggling with this. They know I want off & can see why.

I do not have an addictive personality at all... Except to chocolate & music.. lol

I use to be a smoker but quit several years ago because I woke up one day & decided I was not enjoying cigarettes like I thought I was. I was simply smoking because I was use to it. So I woke up & stopped smoking. I have not touched a cigarette since.

I had Gastric Bypass surgery on 5/5/2008 & had problems after wards. I had to have a second surgery to correct the issues caused by the first. I had horrible issues with pain meds. I could not get out of pain because "Vicodin" is not strong enough to trump the Methadone. I was put on Dilaudid after I proved to the staff I really did need it.

I would like the chance to possibly have another child. Right now that is out of the question because I am on Methadone. I want off for so many reasons. The main one is so I can be part of my daughters life & actually keep the memories I build with her.

It's horrible to watch so much time go by & wonder "Where did it all go? It seems like it was just the other day... Oh, wait - 6 years have passed. WTF?"

[krissy30]

You have got some amazing will power...I envy you for that...I have always had an addictive personality.

The thing with Methadone is it will cure anything....depression, headaches, it will even give you self-esteem and let you think you can sing great too.  LOL  But, that doesn't mean it is for every body.

I think they keep people on it way too long.  I was on it for too long and the fact is it did help me get my together, but when I got my own apartment and had to pay rent.....I couldn't afford it anymore and they put me on a very fast taper.  Too fast!  They think you should be on methadone forever until you can't pay them any more.  
But, don't get me wrong Methadone and suboxone do have their places.  But, they should be used for short-term detox or for people in extreme pain.

Maybe your migraines were often and debilitating and the dr. got frustrated and just threw you on methadone....she prob thought she was helping you, but I just feel she could have tried codeine or even vicodin or percocet before methadone.  Methadone is long acting and has a longer shelf life, which means it's one of the hardest drugs to detox from.  Like I always say, Methadone screwed me up worse than HEroin, the only difference being, I knew what I was getting with Methadone and didn't worry about getting caught with it (legal).  Unlike Heroin, you could get rat poison and die or Fentanyl and OD.

Methadone may be great for some people, and I will not ever take that from them.  Heck, when I was on it I thought it was great.  I never had the urge to use.  But, looking back I now know that it caused more damage than it was worse.  And to be honest my life wasn't happy on it, I was merely content....Sort of like a security blanket.  It made me gain a huge amt of weight and I isolated myself.  

But, I was just thinking have you heard of the Naltrexone implant.  It may be called something else there.  You don't need the implant b/c you are not an addict, but they do a detox before the implant, that may be very beneficial for you, if they consider you a candidate.  I would think it's at least looking into.  It was done by Dr. Gooberman in MErchantville, NJ.  It's out of office, he gave you the meds to take home and for a few days you took them then got naltrexone implant that blocked opiates for 30 days.  But, like I said, you really don't sound like you need to the implant, but maybe by googling Gooberman you could find a similar detox.

Let me know.

[slopez27]

I sent a message to my doc @ Kaiser. I am hoping to hear back from her today. I need to make her understand that I want off. She tried to give me Prozac to help with the morning head crap.. Uh - No thank you! I don't want anything that can be used for depression. Once that gets written in your Kaiser file it haunts you forever. I told her I would not take it & she said she wrote the RX for Anxiety & that is all it is for... Then give me Ativan or something that can be used for an immediate result & short term. Not something that takes weeks to get use to.

The doctor I spoke with at the St. Helena Detox center knew exactly how to help me.

I would go this Friday if I had the $3K to spend. I would go Friday & get off Methadone for 48 hrs- After going through 48 hrs of Detoxing I would get on a medicine called Buprenorphine - I had never heard of this. It seemed to me like he could fix me in 4 days. Go in on Friday come home Sunday or Monday.. I think I am ready to do this! But - I need the $ to go in and get it done... And I need to convince myself I will survive 48 hours without Methadone. After 4 hours I feel like I am loosing my mind. I had suicide thoughts. Something that is soooo unlike me. I would never hurt myself but for some reason when I am off the Methadone it's the only thought I keep having... Its so hard to explain. I started questioning my sanity & then decided to take my Methadone. 45 minutes later I was fine again. What the heck... I knew right then that it was the Methadone that was causing me to go all mental.

[avisg]

what they are doing is taking you off methadone and putting you on subboxone even doing that you will have tobe drug free for a few days .You can find sub doctors in your area that wont cost you three grand .How long did they want u to take the sub

[krissy30]

ok, if I am not mistaken, the beprenorphine is pretty much suboxone, (I could be wrong, look it up)  That is better than Methadone, but still dangerous and can be hard to get off of.  I don't think you will have much of a prob.  You are not on a high dose of Methadone, and shouldn't be on buprenorphine for long so it shouldn't be an issue, but there is no quick fixes, so look into.  All these places are usually only interested in one thing....

I am going to look up the med real quick.  But, be careful....you don't want to exchange one thing for another and be sure that they know you are not an addicted by choice, that you werent' on Methadone b/c of addiction.  IT does make a difference!

[avisg]

krissy no it is it the generic name for sub

[krissy30]

Yes, just as I thought, it's suboxone, do some research and decided if that's what you really want....there is no quick fix....it takes work and if you do it right, there will be some discomfort....look into the detox like the one gooberman uses where you are only on a Opiate-like substance for a few days.  Just to get you through the worst of it....you may be uncomfortable for a few days after that, but at least you won't just be trading Methadone for suboxone.  They usually try to keep people on suboxone for at least 30 days, but then you have to taper off of that.  Just do some research and check it out.  $3 grand is a lot of money!  Especially when you can get suboxone from a licensed Dr. for cheaper.

[krissy30]

sorry, I was posted and never even got a chance to read yours....thanx, i thought it was but wanted to look it up before I gave her the wrong info.

[krissy30]

Feel free to send me a note or a message.  I sometimes take a break from this computer.  (it tends to give me migraines).  and I don't want to miss your post....so feel free to send to me directly if you get no response on this thread....although I try not to forget threads, I am an addict and do tend to forget. LOL  

Crystal

[slopez27]

You guys are wonderful! I am researching everything as much as I can. I am on the phone with Kaiser member services to see if this is something that Kaiser does do. And if they don't if it is something that will reimburse me for. I doubt that they will, but I have to try.  I really think that this Suboxone stuff could do the trick for me. It seems like it will be hard but not unbearable. With you guys cheering me along I know I could get through it

Thanks again for everything!!!

[krissy30]

Good for you.  Good luck and like I said, please keep me (us) informed...Please feel free to message me.  I am very interested in Suboxone, but b/c I am broke it's just not an option for me yet.