Oxycontin WD - 4th day-helpme

[mego579]

Im barely able to type right now.  I went on a trip to a remote house boat with freinds and discovered what WD really are. I'd been using oOxycontin up to 300 mg a day for about 2 years and while on the trip i thought it would be ok to break my 40 mg pills into 4ths and take them because i was running out with no chance of refill before the trip.  The WD started and the whole 4ths of a pill thing was out the window. They were gone before the first night and my freind had to confine me into a room of the house boat while they said i had seizures, screaming, begging to die, not sleeping in days until i was given Ketamine which is a drug i'd usually abused in the past and was familiar with but i'm not sure if it was a good idea or not becuase while in a K-hole i was able to stop the crazy leg shaking etc, but still felt everything jsut the same ( only being imobilized).  
Made it home, its day 4
my eyes are crazy dialeted still, my mind works but i cant communicate really yet without my voice shaking. i'm trying to eat ( the first night i puked like 30 times) but my stomach HURTS after. My skin is crawling.

I took the oxy in the first place because i have severe rhumetoid arthritis.
what do i do?
can i really ride this out here at home w/ my bf?(who was up for the whole time and is exhausted) - feeling better but thats not really saying much because i feel like HELL.
HELL!

how many days will this go on?
please

[mego579]

its totally both bad - but mabye mental more? i have Rhumetoid Arthritis and before i was on Enbrel i swelled up alot and the swelling erods ur joints each time so i have jjoint damage that hurts like crazy all the time.
i stopped because i'd been taking way too much - and nothing ever helped, and snorting them sometimes and running out earlier EVERY MONTH and chasing the sickness away each time i took one, waking up in the middle of the night sick and having to take one almost every night, not being able to function w/out them and then w/out more and more of them. i started puking randomly mabye 2wice a week ( prolly from too much or not enough) - everytime my script ran out early life stopped-0
but now i feel like lifes permaently stopped and if i could just be the way i was i'd get things done cuz i'm usually busy but cant bring myself to do anything but attempt cleaning every couple hours :( i know thats not true thats why i dont go get anymore of that poison
but knowing i can anytime is HARD so hard - i wish i couldnt then mabye i'd give up mentally
my cars like half broken which ***** but is good too - keeps me from driving anywhere
i dunno i have wheelpower i guess obviously but it feels like when i was in jr.high or highschool- that insatiable craving to get high, i use other drugs recreationaly ( occasionaly nowadays like 2wice a year) but back then i was nuts i like tried anything - i had major drug problems which is why i understand how i let myself start taking the oxy poison.
even though my golden rules always '' dont do heroin''
christ -
:(
im not a kid anymore though , u cant go around high all the time and excpect to have a buisness etc. tahts why oxy was easy to fall into cuz ididnt notice it at first , it jsut seemed to make me to more work, and be able to stay up longer working, but then eventually it made me lazy and sleepy and sometimes i'd just sleep -
i want to exersice liek i used to and ride my bike and stuff but i'm in pain and tired, and almost nervous , i have bad 'people' anxiety anyways so now its like its unbearable to be near anyone so i've been home this whole time -
i have to get back to work but i cant yet - i cant pick myself up
i feel the shakes and spaz out a few times a day and have had probably too much wine this week
its really hard to stop the URGE to do anything - i just want it to be over and be a normal person so i dont feel like im going nuts anymore :(

[Dknd4v]

paws post acute withdrawl syndrome... is it physical or mental right now? mental cravings n the dreams can last a while.. syick it out if u can.. im here if u want to talk went thru the same things..

[worried878]

I c u osted on the 6th and u were 4 days clean..lots of posts so i did not read them all...u r now approximately 3 weeks into this?...mental cravings, fatigue, lack of motivation and feeling like u have no nrg to get up and do anything is how i felt at this time ..it was a real doomer..i remember..i felt like i had no life cos when i got home from work i felt like doing nuttin...had to do a rocket shot just to get out of the door each am for work

This is the time when aftercare becomes crucial..u gotta have a plan or u may cave on one of these "bad" days...but remeber these bad days become less and less//and good days become more and  more as time goes by while ur brain heals,,many r so afraid of the physical aspect of wd that they do not make a plan for this part..I DID NOT..cos I didnt know..i didnt know about all this PAWS crud..and it bumbedme out when it happend..I figured i would go thru the physical stuff//which I imagined would be way worse than my actual experience...i was envisioning shaking and sweating//throwing up etc..my physical part was not awful...5 days maybe//4 really..then this PAWS stuff hit me..and i felt as tho i dint have a life..like a couch potato or sumpin...and i am not a couch potato at all..this doomer feeling can make u turnback to pills//just to feel better..right now ur brain is working against u

I re-read the thomas recipe in the health pages and got up and MOVED..resumed my gym habits/exercise forces the brain to release much needed endorphins as u have cut ur endorphin supply off...the brain has to catch up and heal..the mino acids helpedme along with exercise..when i craved i did sumpin rather than sit there and dwell on it...MOVE!  as much as u can

AA has a slogan...90 meetings in 90 days...there is a reason for the 90 days..this is approximately how long it takes thebrain to heal enuf to handle staying clean..have u read thru the health pages?  there is an article there on dopamine and addiction that helped me understand//understanding helps us cope ..make a plan for this doomy part...cover all of ur bases..there is also an article on cravings

why di u stop the pills?  post and let us know the reasons u stopped...list them and never forget them! memories can fade/specially painful ones...what were the reasons that made u make the decision to stop and get off the merry go round?

[mego579]

I havnt posted for a few days - right now i'm having major WD comebacks ( is that a term?) it keeps coming back sometimes but MAJOR - and im having serious problems just wanting to drink all the time now and i just dont want to be sober :(
cuz it hurts :(
somedays im ok and somedays like now im horrrrrrible

[mego579]

hey - i can tell ur worried about suffering WD's.... im not sure if u would normaly get WD from 2 weeks on a medication BUT you're prolly taking Suboxone to save u from the WD from something else right? So no matter what you'll have to suffer WD on some level....i know its scarry but, it will stop. I'm day 22 now & I"m almost ready to start back into society normaly ( work etc )
Some advice another person on here gave me really helped, Just ask youself if you'd rather be sick for a month or the rest of your life? I chose the month - I understand i wont feel 100 percent for a while if ever, but its ok to deal w/the fact u ****** up and you have to kinda pay the price!
But it will end and you'll be ok - From my research Sub is hard as Oxy etc. to WD from - but then again most of us who went cold turkey from opiates didnt even taper off... like me i was at 300 a day to prolly 80 2 days b4 they were gone - thats a fast taper thats prolly usless - it was like HELL! so i'd assume if you take Sub every other day or whatev - hell your WD might not be as bad as the rest of us,
just remember you'll be sick but count the days and read up on the WD symptoms so you dont freak yourself out! I would then coming on here helped me mellow out -

I wouldnt worry about what ur dr. tells u - i'd just stop taking that stuff asap . theres no pill thats gunna make u not go through WD - you have to. just get used to it and start so you can get it over with! I'm so happy now i can almost get outa the house and go halloween it up!

[bbb22]

Btw, I am taking them from a doctor. He told me that it is best that I start tapering as soon as possible. I took 8 mg the first 2 days and then 4 every other day after. He told me that when I felt comfortable I should take smaller and smaller amounts until I don't have the physical wd's. I'm fine with the mental wd's. I am ready to get clean and be healthy. I just don't know what to do.. So what some of you are saying is that after taking a piece of Sub every other day or 2 days for 2 weeks that I won't ever be able to get off and that I will wd from the Sub after just a short time period... Because that is not what my doc is telling me.. I don't want to switch one drug addiction to another.... please help!