Please help!!! Tapering off of methadone (again)

[SmilingBright]

Hi guys.  I am tapering one again off of methadone.  I'm at 4 mg and my anxiety is sky high.  Had a cup of coffee this morning (big mistake).  Won't be doing that anymore while detoxing.  Anyways those who know me know hubby is still taking them.  He talks about getting off of them.  But I can't focus on his recovery.  Only mine.  That has been a huge problem of mine the last few years.  
I should be jumping here in the next week or so.  Just needed you guys for support.  You guys are the most caring group of people I've ever met.  I am actually finally admitting or surrendering to the thought of reaching out for external help / counseling or meetings.  Something!!!  I'm desperate.  I want to be a good momma of my two precious boys (5 and 3 yrs old ). They deserve the best!!!
Luckily I just cut back working to only 2 days a week.  So that will help w wds.  
I was no anxious to pair on the public forum again as I have failed so many times.  Feel like I may have lost the support of many friends.  About to call my pastor and talk w him.   I will be back later and check in
Love Chris

[SmilingBright]

Aww thank you so much pat:) that means ALOT.  We can do this together!!!!   We CAN do this!!!!!  So you are liking counseling??

[VICourageous]

Hi Hun..Geez I wonder who named you baby! Lmao! Girl we still love you and none of us are perfect either. If they think they are then let them throw that first stone..Right? OK Girl YOU know alot about this disease because I know you have read this in a more scientific way. I know you are a Christian and a girl with a good heart..SO the 2 things you did not follow is NOT going to those meetings yet..AND we know it is SO hard to be around the same med we came off of or any med! Please Girl this time just do what YOU have to DO! Not for anybody other then YOU. I live in a small town and many there are professionals with some great careers..What is said there is to stay there..Do not fear the worse like this will ruin your Reputation around your town..Heck we could be 6 feet under from a over dose..I would not like any body to talk over my grave and say I passed do to drugs. It is better to get SUPPORT and that is what you are lacking BIG time. I also think at such a low dose that your Anxiety or some is coming from the fact you are scared of what may be ahead if you do not get this right this time.  I care about you and I am here for you. I want to see you make it and start working it. OK! Now lets get out to them Meetings this time. It takes a very long time for all of this to balance out Physically, Mentally and Spiritually. It took me over a Year to get there and even at 21months I am still GROWING! Wishing you the best!
Bless

[SmilingBright]

Oh Mrs Connie, you my friend are a GEM!!  Just love you.  Yes they have celebrate recovery around here.  Only thing is I think they are all at night!!!  Frustrating!!!  I have my pastor doing some praying bad research as to what I have available that may work for me.  Please continued prayers for my success this time!!  Once and for all.

Oh and I just went to store and bought camomile tea (k cups). Having a cup right now.  Caffeine free.   Just wanted something soothing.  Hopefully this will do the trick.  Waiting for my pastor to call me back.  It's so embarrassing this whole process.  Just need to get over myself and let it out!!  Crazy bc I see people and hear people telling me their story of being an addict and getting free.  And I praise them for their courage and honesty.  I truly wish I could be so transparent with everyone.  I'm not quote to that point yet.  But getting there slowly.  

[gnarly_1]

Hi Chris good to see you found us.....well for starters your low enough to jump ship you can keep tapering but it is hard to do at the low doses your going to go threw some needless withdrawals for the next 5 weeks so jump ship and get a head start I came off 150mg over a 8 1/2 month taper the withdrawal is really no more intense then what your probable feeling now it is the duration of time to recovery that makes it hard.... your detox will last 10 days to 2 weeks then recovery depends on how long you where on it your age and how high of dose your coming off of for most it is not as bad as you think it will be if you choose to keep drooping dose start on the 3 in 1 vitamin calcium/magnezum/zinc it is 6 bucks at walmart take 4 with breakfast and 4 with dinner in a few days you will notice your withdrawals are cut in 1/2  I only wish I had found that sooner when I detox  just know this...this is hard but it is doable every recovery is different for me 90 days was the beginning of recovery but I had a hard habit to break for some 30 days will do it of you where not on it long and your dose was always low most people fall into the 60 to 90 day deal you do get better but it is slowly the 2 worst symptoms are the lack of sleep and the ''energy crash'' I also recamend whey protein shake mix again walmart for 15 bucks a 2lb can drink 2 a day this will give you the amino acids as well as raw protein to help with the energy  the chocolate flavor is good mixed with milk keep posting for support we have a lot of members who have kicked methadone ...........Gnarly.............................

[SmilingBright]

Oh there's my girl Vic.  Yes I wonder who gave me my special name.  The one and only VIC (moose lips)!!!  You guys are all paving the way for me.  I know what I have I do!!  What can't we all just be closer to each other an should attend meetings together.   That would be the ultimate comfort zone.  I'm pretty shy    And wonder if I would open up in big meeting.  I've always been better one on one w people.   Hence why I'm such a great hygienist.  Bc I'm one on one w all my patients.  I love it that way.  Just have to find a place where I belong so I can heal !!  I have to get myself better.  I'm so tired if this crap!!!! Truly.  
I listen to lies of the devil telling me I need a pill for this or that and I will be more sociable.  It's all lies.  Tired of listening to the lies.  I will do this AFRAID Connie.  That's a good one I have heard  Joyce Meyer say over and over again.  DO IT AFRAID!!!  

[SmilingBright]

Hey gnarly, thanks for the info and support. Luckily I have all the recommended vitamins and protein.  I have about everything I have heard you guys talk about the last year and half.  I'm pretty preapred when it comes to that.  Now time to get enough courage to jump ship.   You are right.  I was never at super high dose of dones.  But it was high enough for me.  This last bout I was about 15 mg.  I'm 34 yr old about 120 lbs 5'9 and this isn't getting any easier to quit w age.  
One thing I've never had a problem w is sleep while going through detox.   Thank god for that.    But my biggest things is anxiety, cravings and lack of energy.    I Know in time it will get better. If I just give myself time to heal!!!!!