Trying....Again!!

[Ladybug9705]

Once again I am trying to quit taking lortab. Nov 2010 I quit for 4 months and in Sept 2011 I quit for almost 2 months. Each time I started taking them I thought I could just take one or two. I know I can not continue this pattern. I am so tired of taking pills, counting pills and worrying about where my next fix will come from or how I will pay for it. My husband thinks I have been clean since the week before Christmas. Truth is I have been taking more the past few weeks than I ever have. I have been taking 12-15 pills a day. I am at the of my rope. This madness must stop! I want the "normal me" back. I want to wake up and think about how blessed I am not wake up and make a mad dash for the pill bottle. I want to feel good. I just want to be normal and be able to function and play with my kids without having to take a couple of pills first. I took my last 10mg lortab about 3 hours ago so by the time I wake up in the morning I will be in withdrawl. I know the next few days are going to be terrible. Please just say a little prayer for me that I can get through this. I will be heading to bed soon so I can get a good nights rest before the insomnia starts. Tomorrow when I am feeling like death I will be on here reading posts. They inspire me so much!! Thanks to everyone here for sharing your stories and letting me know I am not alone.

[Addicted2long]

Congrats on your decision to get clean. I am so glad your going to put an end to the madness. Its so not fun and its no life to live. You have no idea how much better it is to wake up and not have to pop a pill. Dont dread tomorrow. Think of it as the first day of the rest of your life. U have to be mentally prepared for withdrawal and you have to want it deep down. If you prepare yourself mentally you will have a much less miserable time. If you fight it..it will be worse. Do you have any vitamins or supplements prepared? U should get the thomas recipe and make sure you have everything else you need for tomorrow. What are you going to tell your husband? I would honestly just come clean with him because its too hard to find it and it becomes obvious that your not fighting the flu very fast. Tell him you messed up and you caught yourself early. U dont have to tell him its been since xmas u can say its only been a week or two but u should tell him. He can help you and alloiw you to get the rest you need. 15 pills a dday is alot just imagine the damage thats going on your liver! yikes..Im real glad u realized it was spiraling out of control fast. Addiciton is no joke and it takes our souls and the demon doesnt let go. U must fight for your life the next few days and prove that you own your life and u want it back. Keep chatting with us here and update us on your situtation. Theres always someone on here 247 thats in the same spot as you and will talk to you when your alone or not sleeping. Its only a few days of feeling like **** and thats a small price to pay for the years that uve been high as a kite. This is your chance to put it down for good and u never have to do this agian if you dont want. Hang in there ill check in with u tomorrow. Good luck and god bless you!