Will all addicts use if they have access to pills?

[Pat1956100]

I am really wondering about this.  I know if I have access to pills I will take them.  They will haunt me and I will end up giving in.  I have learned that because I have done it over and over again.  I have no control when I am offered pills.  I have no control when I know that they are available to me.
Does this get easier?  Do you reach a point where you can walk away?  If you had pills now would you take them?

[Pat1956100]

Hey, I don't think it was TMI and besides that's why we use an alias.  Please don't be mortified or stop posting,  I have spilled my guts in this forum so many times and never had a problem,  I really hope you don't stop posting because I have really enjoyed your posts.

[msdelight]

Hey every one great job on all youre doing.  Sorry to hijack the train but I wanted to ask the MH censor to delete my post on this thread from yesterday. I am embarrassed well mortified this was TMI. I don't think I'm well enough to be posting here anymore. Going to take a break.  Please delete all.

[Heather8448]

Why put yourself in that position, I have a friend in recovery here in jax who keeps a bottle so she can show shes overcome it and good for her if shes THAT strong, I just PRAY GOD stays on her side because I feel thats playing with FIRE!!!
I feel like we should stay away from people places and THINGS!!!

[Dane74]

Pat,  please write that "break up" letter, it does help.  You have been battling this for so long, its really time Pat, to have the life you so deserve.  I am going to share with you the letter i wrote over a year ago, not much to it, but after i just read it again, it is powerful.....

   My break up letter to my addiction

Listen you stupid, careless, inconsiderate addiction I'm on to you now. You see I'm a good person, yes I've made mistakes but as they say I'm human and god died on the cross for my sins, my family, I love them more than anything, I enjoy their love, smiles, I love having a beautiful group of people share my life, all the beautiful things in life places we've been and yet to see. I don't deserve to shake, sweat and feel insecure I spent so much of my life feeling that already I've paid my dues where pain is concerned and I deserve to have the next half of my life off that kind of pain, my suffer/pain bank is full. I don't love you although in the beginning I fooled myself I did , I don't even like you your a insidious, evil, cruel entity in my life and quite frankly your ugly, you do nothing nice for people except take advantage and consume people your so needy,,, I have to let you go because there is another way to live one where I forgive myself for any bad choices I made in my past including dealing with you. I know you'll come back
In a few weeks and beg me to be with you but I'm stronger, wiser than you and I'm letting you know  FU CK off, you can't have me anymore I need me. Take care and drop dead.

[Pat1956100]

I am just really tired of failing.  They get in my head so bad and I am romancing them for sure.  I may just work on that goodbye letter,  I need to say goodbye to a lot of things.  Sigh.

[brandiroars386]

Absolutely wonderful post!  I am making sure the devil takes his bags.