am scared, suboxone detox

[Casper1984]

Ive been on suboxone for 2 years, 24mg's a day, 75 8mg's pills a month. I always ran out on day 18, due to my abusen them. For goin on 6-12 months, ive been taken 30-40 mg's a day. My insurance refills on day 20, so i would buy 2 8mg's with cash to hold me over. I have stopped cold turkey, and im not goin back to the doctor, my addictive mind set will just get the 75 pills again. I have not tapered down at all. My last dose was 3 days ago, 32 mg's. The withdrawal is something worse than heroin, pain pills, or any drug. I cant even walk ten feet with out blacking out, my skin is on fire, my bones burn, what do i do, and how much longer will this last? Am i in danger?

[leeisgettingclean]

sub is one of those things that hang on to you tight. You jumped from an extremly high dose but being that you have made it this far you should be alright. Are you takin vitamins? be sure you stay hydrated. Also, are you sleeping? I am going to send prayers your way. It does get better man. I am sorry that you are going through this,. if you need to talk just email me. Good Luck, Lee

[Casper1984]

im on day 13, still withdrawaling. i have to be better by day 17. if not, i will have family help, they just drove into town today. also, having the doc give my grandmother the scripts should hopefully put their mind at ease and prescribe whats needed. id much rather detox from hydro's than subs again. 13 damn days and im still miserable, never knew it would be this hard

[worried878]

DUH!
u r ten days in almost!  this post is from the 17th!....too far in to turn back now

sorry for being a skimmer!  (:

[worried878]

now i see 168/108...not lethal for most but not good either..it is normal for a bp to go up during wds but can also be dangerous if it goes too high...or too low...blacking out when standing up is often a symptom of being too low...glad u went and got checked out....be safe with the clonidine...the gabapentin/neurontin can help with sleep and wds...phenergan is another safe drug to help with any nausea plus it helps with sleep and in small doses, anxiety too...be safe

[worried878]

was reading above
98/58 is a very LOW BP...for most..the norm being 120/70...high being greater than 140/90
U r taking clonidine now?   I am sorry but could not read all of these posts due to the time factor so sorry if i missed this???u may be atking too much if ur BP is this low...this is not a drug to fool around with..it can help wds and help anxiety, runs and sleep...but it can also kill u...it is a very powerful hypotensive drug...r u taking this under a drs care????

[worried878]

I c ur point...but u do need to seek help if u get sick..dehydration can be worse than wds...feels awful..if the runs and nausea occur..and they may not...know u gotta have ur fluids
U will know by day 4 or 5....sub has a long half life so 3 days is not a long time...fact is u were probably using for the sake of using due to the ceiling effect of sub..altho i used for a bit off and on and did notice a tolerence to it....took more and more as u r...and is the reason i didnt use it to stop hydros..i liked sub better than hydros!
but sposedly once the receptors r full..it does no good to take more..wonder tho

be safe..be smart...i do realize once u r ready to be done...u r just ready..tapering is hard for an addict...real hard...just know ur choices and be ready if need be

be safe and keep posting

[Casper1984]

some of yall keep saying to go to the er, i did, they gave me gabapentin. now, i will be seeing a new doctor this week to get what ever it is to help get me through. whether it be a opiate, low dose, and benzos, i will have my grandmother go with me, that way she can dispense the meds. NO TO THE SUBS, I WOULD RATHER GO THROUGH A FULL BLOWN MORPHINE W/D, THEN A SUB WITHDRAWAL. ive w/d from morphine before, it was a crappy flu for 7 days, nothing like this. its my ex-wife demanding i take my kloe, she doesnt believe in withdrawals, she's always made fun of me for my complaining of pain in the past. saying im faken.

[jamajessie]

I'm sorry Casper but you wont be in any much better shape by Sunday. Sub wd's can last twice as long ,sometimes more than full opiate withdrawals. Plus, the fact that you jumped off such a high dose without tapering is going to make your wd's 10 times as bad. If you can you really need to go to your sub doc and discuss a taper.

[gsebia]

Dude, a blood pressure of 168/106 is lethal...I would take the advise of everyone that stated on this board - get to an ER...They will put you in a detox - it may take a few days but hell,. you have a kid that is depending on you for many years to come..I am not sure about the sub doasge you dropped cold turkey, but - I am weining of vicodins and it is rough...

[ang_811]

I agree with mark.. If u r n no shape to be taking care of a child by sun plz don't force urself. U have come a long way and have done so good.

[gnarly_1]

Hey Travis I wish I could just make all this stop for you but I cant.....I have kept you in my prayers and I do know that God helps but it will be in his time....he has kept you alive thew all of this...you have been on the edge of insanity and he has kept you from going over...some times we just need to look at what God has already done for us and then trust his word that he will complete what he started  I hope by sunday your better but you need to have a plan if your not...there is a child's welfare where talking about here that is priority one can she just stay where she is for the time being???  

[Casper1984]

MY PRECIOUS KLOE, WHOM IVE SEEN ONLY ONCE IN 13 DAYS. ITS KILLING ME, NORMALLY, SINCE THE SEPERATION AND ME FILING FOR DIVORCE, I HAVE HAD HER 75% OF THE TIME, SHE AND I SHARE A UNIQUE SPECIAL BOND THAT IVE NEVER EXPERIENCED, WITHOUT HER, I FEEL ALONE. YET, I HAVE TO STAY AWAY FROM HER, SINCE IF I EVEN SPEAK TO HER ON THE PHONE, SHE WILL BEG TO COME STAY WITH ME. IM STILL IN NO CONDITION TO LOOK AFTER HER, MY BODY IS STILL FEELING HORRIBLE, MY MANIC EPISODE HAS LESSENED INTO HYPOMANIA, WHICH I CAN HANDLE, BUT THE RLS AND BURNING SKIN, ACHES ALL OVER, NO APPETITE, FATIGUE, CHILLS, AND SO ON, ARE STILL IN CONTROL OF ME. IVE ALSO LOST MY NEW "GIRL FRIEND/BABYSITTER" DUE TO MY INABILITY TO DO ANYTHING WITH HER, AND FOR BUYING XANAX & POT OFF THE STREET. IVE GOT UNTILL SUNDAY TO RECOVER, THATS WHEN I GET KLOE BACK. SO PLEASE, IM BEGGING ALL OF YOU, FROM THE PURE INNOCENSE OF MY HEART, PRAY I RECOVER BY SUNDAY. THAT''LL BE DAY 17. PLEASE DONT LET THIS FALL ON DEAF EARS. THANK YOU ALL, I SINCERELY OWE ALL OF YOU THAT HAVE ENCOURAGED ME FROM DAY 1, I OWE YOU ALL A GREAT DEAL OF LOVE AND GRATITUDE.----TRAVIS(CASPER)

[gnarly_1]

Hey Casper good to here from you again ..I have been praying for you that God will deliver you out of this mess you may try praying yourself I went thew 8 1/2mo of tapering off methadone I dont think I could have done it without God...Jesus here those that call out his name...keep posting to let us know how your doing...this thing has got to be coming to and end soon good luck and God bless.....Gnarly

[Casper1984]

I did go to the er 2 days ago, all they gave me was gabapentin. It helps somewhat, but my body is feeling like its going crazy with feelings, physical feelings, that i cant even put into words. I got some xanax from the street, but that only helped for 4 hours or so. I just want to get to day 17, when i get my daughter back. I cant be a father feeling this way, its day 12, so pray for me,

[mellie4]

Please think of Kloe.  Get yourself to a doctor that will help you.  Maybe a different ER.  You aren't thinking clearly with all that's going on.  It seems like you're afraid of dying but at the same time you're afraid to get help.   You don't deserve to go through this.  You don't need to be going through this.  There is help for you.

You mentioned a babysitter in your post.  Who's with you?  

There are so many things going on in your body and from your history, you simply can't do this alone.    The people on this site know what they're talking about.  Listen to them.  They're afraid for you.  I'm afraid for you.  

[road_to_recovery31]

I havent had a chance to post to u cause I am new here & just now ran across this but have looked at all the posts and they r right!!!I am also a Sub patient & let me tell u "This is just the tip of the iceburg"This can go on for as high as 2 months{no joke}U need to at least go back to your Dr & tell him/her what u have done and they will dose u daily if need to b.I feel for u man but u CAN stop the torment on yourself & just b honest with your Dr.I have a book here all about Subs & it states that all sorts of things can happen if u stop cold turkey,in which u have experienced ALOT of them but there r still others & YES one is being DEATH!!Your heart dont know which way to go right now.U need to seek medical attention rather it b the E.R,your Subs Dr,or your family Dr.You have taken all of us through the last 11 days of the h*** u r living & been honest with us an yourself so wont u take it 1 step farther & b honest with  your Sub Dr.If not for u or anyone else do it for your little girl because with u going the way u r going right now u CAN cause long term damage.I am praying for u.

[Casper1984]

Maybe this will help you, my father, who i barely speak to anymore, e-mailed me this, saying, "every hallucination, is a gift from God, every feeling of pain, a gift from God, every thought of guilt, a gift from God, every emotion, a gift from God. I should be dead, i shouldnt be allowed to walk this earth after the sins ive committed, but i can, and i am, because it is a gift from God."

[Casper1984]

I wanted to drop an update for all those whove stuck by me these past 11 days. My mania is starting to subside, but the physical symptoms are still dibilitating. Im hollow, empty, void, like an empty shell that only feels the pain, tension and anxiety. My babysitter cant even sit in the same bed as me, due to the kicks, or RLS. The ER wouldnt give me anything for anxiety, their reasoning is logical, saying their just as addictive. Im gonna have to wait for my Klonopin refill. Im starting to lose hope in there being a light at the end of this hellish tunnel. 11 days, still in agony.

[ang_811]

I did some research for u and this is what I found out...

According to AAMOD, some people withdrawing from the Suboxone ingredient buprnorphine experience psychological symptoms. These symptoms may include hallucinations such as seeing, hearing and feeling things that are not there.
-also I read where mixxing klonopin and suboxone for a long time will cause hallucinations and  And audible ones as well.
I really think u need to fet to the hospital bc it's getting serious. Not only r u  messing with ur health u r also messing with ur mental health.  U can end up **** some serious long term damage. I really hope u get some help. Plz take our advice. Maybe just call a doctor (e en if it's not ur doctor) and tell them ur symptoms and how u stopped taking ur suboxone I'm sure they will tell u what to do. Keep us posted and let us know how u r feeling.

[Casper1984]

Im freakin out. Im having audible hallucinations, as well as visual ones. Lots of flashing lights, but theres no place they could come from. Im in day 6, its worse than i ever expected. I should of tapered. As for seeing things, any thoughts, ideas, reasons why? I slept this morning from 6am to 1pm.

[Casper1984]

Day 6, yesterday i said was day 4, but apparently insomnia has warped my sense of time. Anyway, your giving me hope, all of you. My w/d isnt methadone, i quit cold turkey from 32mg's of suboxone. I always thought i knew what pain was, i was wrong, i know now. I actually fell asleep at 6am, woke up at 1 pm, and had my first meal last night around 3 am. I woke up, and i felt so much better, i was so so happy, its over, i made it, awesome! NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 hours later, a physical feeling like nothing in days past took over. Im crippled again. I am on Thomas recipe, started yesterday. My hypertension caused me to start seeing stars while walking, needless to say, my face is no longer pretty. A 3/4 inch gash above my eye. Oddly, everything else hurts so bad, i barely felt it. I took 3mg's klonopin and 0.2 mg's clonodine so far today, just waitin for them to kick in. Pray for me, im scared of tonight and tommorrow.

[avisg]

As I said it does not matter what your blood pressure is if you end up with an electrolyte imbalance .Do you realize with dropping the way you did off the klonopin that you also can have fatal seizures .As you have said you have a daughter you need to be here for .Go to the ER let the stabilize you .Yes it is very possible that your wds have not peeked at there worst yet either .This is only day four some people don't start wd until a week after there last dose .I truly hope for your sake they have .You are kind of playing Russian roulette with your heath and that so dangerous we don't want to see anything bad happen to you .

[Casper1984]

I understand everyones concern, but im monitoring my vitals often. Today, my bp has not passed stage 1 hypertension, as of now, im sys-118, dia-66, and my pulse is 70. Now, correct me if im wrong, thats perfect. Ive started the Thomas Recipe, been drinking plenty of gatoraid, not really any food, but i also dropped my klonopin down to just 5mg's today, and 0.2mg's of clonodine. Yes, the pain is worse, insomnia *****, my skin still burns, really, everything either burns or hurts. Im kinda surprised i made it through this far today, which leads me to believe i can take on tomorrow, unless some of yall are correct and the worst is yet to come.

[refusingbondage]

I gotta agree with avisg.. If you are blacking out and your BP is that high, it wont HURT to go to the ER.  You will not be the first person to walk into a hospital in severe withdrawal. Just be totally honest with them.  F it. Right now who cares what judgments or opinions they may have.  You may need help.  Dont be afraid to ask for it.
Are you stabalized yet? Have you been able to sip some gatorade and keep it down?  Is your pressure stabalizing.. Also agree with Henry-- 20+mgs of Klonipin is too much.  Be wary of the klonipin.  A much more dangerous detox than opiates.