Aa
close to the edge
I am really close to slitting my wrists. I see no other option. I am at day 17 clean of a year addiction to vicodin and I am feeling so incredibly bad that I feel as though I can not go on. I feel that my family will be so much better off without me and I feel that this will never go away. Everyone tells me that it gets better, but yet it seems to be getting worse. I have tried exercising and vitamins and everything but nothing is working. This is no way to live. Someone out there please offer me some hope and reason to live before it is too late. I am at the edge.
You do have reasons to live !!!! Please do not give up on life and your family They would not be better off with out you! Because living with the loss of someone you love is more painful than any thing that they've been through with your addiction !!! I agree with sid3 seek help now do not wait go to ER !!! Please Please do not do any thing to your self It will get better but you have got to get you some help I will be praying for you !!! Please do not give up you can make it !! there is help here and there is help for you outside this forum !! if you ever need someone to talk to i am here !! momloves54
the anti d's are often known to make matters seem worse before they build up in the blood levels. There are some that work better than others, and everyone is different when it comes to how effective they may be. If your feeling so bad that checking out is a real option in your mind then go to the ER and tell them! There is no reason to be suffering needlessly when help is available.
I hear your pain. I do not post much on any of the boards since I really can't add too much to what others say or have said. Many have more experience than I do.
I looked through your posts and what really hit me as something that could (and I say could) be making you experience suicidal ideation is the seroquel. You have been on that for less than a month and that drug itself has it's own issues. One of them is suicidal ideation.
I would encourage you to do your homework on seroquel. Google www.askapatient.com and see what others experiences on this drug have been. Weight gain is another thing this drug will do.
I understand depression and suicide ideation very well. Drugs always have a downside to them. Including SSRIs, anti anxiety drugs, antipsychotics, etc. I found that depression is one of the withdrawal effects I hate but will not medicate.
Depression and anxiety IMO seem to hit women hard. Especially if they are over 35+. Things that may add to depression are alcohol, benzos, a lot of the new drugs on the market dispensed for depression, hormones or lack, poor diet, lack of exercise, and not getting out in the sun.
Many doctors feel the need to give you something. Instead it might be a good to listen to you, hear your pain and give you reassurance. Also, going to some type of support group would help.
Have you ever heard a doctor say t.i.d? Three times a day for drugs is one of the ways drugs may be taken. I would say, "take a walk three times a day". That would be a great tool.
Good Luck!
I looked through your posts and what really hit me as something that could (and I say could) be making you experience suicidal ideation is the seroquel. You have been on that for less than a month and that drug itself has it's own issues. One of them is suicidal ideation.
I would encourage you to do your homework on seroquel. Google www.askapatient.com and see what others experiences on this drug have been. Weight gain is another thing this drug will do.
I understand depression and suicide ideation very well. Drugs always have a downside to them. Including SSRIs, anti anxiety drugs, antipsychotics, etc. I found that depression is one of the withdrawal effects I hate but will not medicate.
Depression and anxiety IMO seem to hit women hard. Especially if they are over 35+. Things that may add to depression are alcohol, benzos, a lot of the new drugs on the market dispensed for depression, hormones or lack, poor diet, lack of exercise, and not getting out in the sun.
Many doctors feel the need to give you something. Instead it might be a good to listen to you, hear your pain and give you reassurance. Also, going to some type of support group would help.
Have you ever heard a doctor say t.i.d? Three times a day for drugs is one of the ways drugs may be taken. I would say, "take a walk three times a day". That would be a great tool.
Good Luck!
Please hang in there. It does get better. I felt so depressed like I wanted to end my life too in the beginning. I knew I wouldn't but I felt like it.It does get better. You just have to give yourself time to heal and sometimes that's longer than what we expect. I am 113 days clean and I still have alot of bad days, but the good days will come more and more the longer you are clean. Just be patient.
Its going to get better. Think you were taking Vicodin for 365 days, now you've been of for 17(which is awesome) your body just needs to remember how it functioned without vicodin. Other things like are you going cold turkey, or you stopped a methadone treatment program...
There is alot to take in to account. But the first and most important is you don't want this life anymore, the one of drugs and sickness etc.
I've been on methadone for 7 years, when optimal time frame is 1/12-2 yrs.
I was still using but this last year and some i've been clean of everything. An down to 38mg and dropping.
Have you thought about something to help, like meth to tapper or are you cold turkeying it?
There is alot to take in to account. But the first and most important is you don't want this life anymore, the one of drugs and sickness etc.
I've been on methadone for 7 years, when optimal time frame is 1/12-2 yrs.
I was still using but this last year and some i've been clean of everything. An down to 38mg and dropping.
Have you thought about something to help, like meth to tapper or are you cold turkeying it?
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