close to the edge

[tphelp]

I am really close to slitting my wrists.  I see no other option.  I am at day 17 clean of a year addiction to vicodin and I am feeling so incredibly bad that I feel as though I can not go on. I feel that my family will be so much better off without me and I feel that this will never go away.  Everyone tells me that it gets better, but yet it seems to be getting worse. I have tried exercising and vitamins and everything but nothing is working. This is no way to live.  Someone out there please offer me some hope and reason to live before it is too late. I am at the edge.

[10356]

It takes awhile for antidepressants to take effect.. it took a lil over a month for me to start to calm down and even then I had my moments.. being alone a lot is difficult in like what do you do with your time. I know I have been a stay at home mom forever it seems and have spent many a day alone.. maybe finding a hobby for yourself would help. I did and it really has made a difference in my days :) You could pick up some AA or NA meetings during the day that would be good for support and socialization and not so stressful as everyone has been where you are and we do not have to hide things. most of all time enough to heal and allow our Natural feel good endorphins flowing again. I hope this passes for you very soon.. life really is very good when we stop to hear the birds sing :))

[Hate_my_life]

Please don't even think like that. We have our entire lives to work through our addictions, but suicide is permanent. Have you sought professional help?  No one will be better off without you. Don't think like that. I wish you luck and hope you start to feel better soon.

[tphelp]

thanks Lesa...I have been on an anti depressant for about 3 weeks now...when did this end for you?  I spend most of my days alone, do you think I need more interaction? that only stresses me out more though...

[10356]

I can think of a hundred reasons to live !! you named a few yourself.. your family.. it sounds like you are having a rough go with depression from wd. take a deep calming breath and then another.. you will be ok sometimes we expect so much so soon after putting out brains and body through hell.. Please be patient with yourself. this will pass in time. if you can go see a Dr. and ask about a antidepressant maybe this would help for a few months. others have done this and received great benefit.. remember to take time out for yourself to be alone. do not expect to be able to do everything right away and remember always how much your family loves you and Yes needs you. congrats on 17 days that is awesome.. My heart was still pounding out of my chest with anxiety at that stage.. You will get through this Breath.. lesa