day 2 no oxycontin

[Cassie415]

After a 2 week relapse i have stopped again. Today is the second day without it and i am`pretty sick and feel horrible. I am in mexico for a vacation which is helping me not to get it because there is no way i can get it here. but i am really sick and have no energy to even move. my dad and his gf want to go out every night and drink and all that mexico type stuff and i am just dying. I was snorting about 200mg of oxycontin before i stopped so i no this detox wont be easy but I will have 5 days clean by the time i get home so i am hoping thats enough to just stay away and not get any more. I am very weak and sick right now and I just keep thinking about how nice a line of oxycontin would make me feel. anywys i am going to try really hard to stay sober this time. just wanted to post an update, thanks everyone for all the help.

[HelpinUtah]

WOW Cassie - you received a lot of great advice and tough love from people who care!  I am always in awe at the love and concern from people here.  I honestly cannot add any more to what was said.  So, I'll be your cheerleader and say YOU CAN DO THIS!  PLEASE DO IT FOR YOU!  I am happy you are on Day 2 - but I know how much it ***** to be going through what your going through right now.  Please, like everyone said, get help.  Even if you find NA, seek counselling, or something.  And know that you have many people here who will help you!

LOTS OF LOVE & HUGS,
Janet

[djd8080]

Smile though your heart is aching,
Smile even though it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by,

If you smile
through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness,
Although a tear may be ever so near,

That's the time,
You must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,

If you just smile,

We have to force ourselves to smile, have faith and keep a positive attitude. It takes practice but it doesn't take pills. We weren't meant to take pills to smile and feel good. Anything worthwhile takes effort...so let's not cry, let's be positive because we all know pills will only destroy us and our dreams. That's why we're here.

[peaceinknowing]

I want/need you to know that I wasn't crying over anything you'd done wrong to me.. It's just that your story has really [I know I keep saying this over and over again] put a dent in my heart for you.

[Cassie415]

also peaceinknowing, please do not cry. i dont want to make u sad and ireally dont want to cause u to cry. i will be fine and ill get thru this just like all u guys did. but plz dnt cry.

[Cassie415]

I have read everryone`s posts a few times and i am really thinking about this. About a month ago I stopped and i was really into it, i had all the amino acid stuff, i was eating bananas, and i actually really did want to stay sober. I had some bad cravings but then i had some moments that were just filled with such natural happiness it was like everything was worth it. I maed it to around day 17 or 18 and then tried it again and then went straight back to old ways and continued using for about 2 wks. It was such a huge mistake because i am having such trouble getting back to  thaat same mentality that iwas at. But one thing djd said made me realize...I am letting myself think about using again. THe part of my head that wants me to keep using is winning because alll  i keep thinking about is oxycontin and how good it would feel and all that. Last time i didnt even let myself think like htis cuz it just wanst an option. as djd said i was just htinking NO ur not gonna do it so dont even think about it. i need toget back to that mentality so im not gonna let myself even think about it. the last few days i had some moments of weakness cuz i was so tired of fighting for this and have been back and forth and sober then relapsing for the entire summer and i just got so tired of it. but i will keep trying and fighting for this. thanks again everyone for all the support and advice, i promise ill get it right soon enogh and then i can help others liek all u do.

[peaceinknowing]

There are SO many members here that are amazing people. Each and every one of them to be exact. They're all here for many of the same reasons that we are and that is to help each other through everything. I'm glad to hear that you've grown to care for people here already, even though it's only your first day. It's really hard NOT to care for these people who are going through some of the same things. Please keep posting and let us know how you're doing as well!