Aa
help with beating Khat, kat methcathinone, jeff or kitty
Hello Everyone, I been reading this blog and I see a lot of hope and support, I was introduced to kat and flunitrazapem in 2005 by my ex girlfriend and hated it, but became accustomed to it by being around her, I have managed months at a time staying away, but sadly I also suffer from Major Depressive Disorder and my body does not produce enough serotonin, I have been on antidepressants (citalopram) since July last year after a suicide attempt, the trouble is when I feel low and hopeless I go on a self destructive pattern, I use 3 or 4 grams a week and then end up feeling worse than ever, I try really hard to abstain, but in those moments of weakness I forget how the after effects make me feel and in an impulsive moment call up my life destroying supplier, I really really want to stop abusing this substance, on numerous times I deleted my suppliers number and yet somehow in my lows I manage to obtain it again, my family doesn’t know about my dark clouds over my head, I really need help battling these demons, I have an extremely high IQ and yet I’m not smart enough to tackle substance abuse, I want to do this on my own, I want to know that I have the strength to beat it and become a better person and motivate others that we have the will power to overcome our dilemmas, so humbly on my knees I beg for assistance
Hi & Welcome, Your IQ has nothing at all to do with addiction. The disease of addiction takes people from all races, religions and classes. It doesn't discriminate.
I am not familiar with any of the drugs you are taking and I assume you are not in the US? If you could explain what those drugs are or what they are prescribed for maybe we can help here. Also who are Jeff and Kitty?
Hope you hang around. Someone is always here to help.
I am not familiar with any of the drugs you are taking and I assume you are not in the US? If you could explain what those drugs are or what they are prescribed for maybe we can help here. Also who are Jeff and Kitty?
Hope you hang around. Someone is always here to help.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi and welcome to the forum.......Doing it our way got us here in the first place. This a "we" thing, not an "i" thing. Are you seeing any type of therapist right now? The drugs you are doing are not helping your depression, rather adding to them. Please keep talking with us as we are here to help~
Ok I just read about this and it is really Nasty stuff. The ingredients in it are scary!!! Sulfuric acid or battery acid. Lye. It reminds me of what is in Krocodil. But doesn't cause the tissue damage as Krocodil does. You have to stop!! Please!!!
One affect is it causes a psychological crash. You don't need that. Please get help. Enter a rehab to get off this AND to help level you off with your mental needs. Please!!!
One affect is it causes a psychological crash. You don't need that. Please get help. Enter a rehab to get off this AND to help level you off with your mental needs. Please!!!
Hi everyone, thanks for the speedy replies, yes I am in therapy, today was a great day, kept myself occupied all day with my dog, no cravings or temptation yet, sadly this substance is so easily available in South Africa, I'm taking it one day at a time
Okay, cards on the table, the reason I am on antidepressants is because my body does not produce serotonin, I have discussed this at length with my therapist and we tried an experiment by upping the dosage of my antidepressants (ssri)
On days that I do take a higher dosage I don't have any thoughts of even taking a line for weeks, within the past month she lowered my dosage again as to experiment, so on days where I feel worthless and relapse into my depression I use but at a limit, according to my psychiatrist amphetamines are also a serotonin Re uptake inhibitors, I don't agree that she is justifying my usage, she refused to up my ssri dosage and this leads to usage, the irony is that when it wears off I feel worse than ever, the help I require from a veteran like you who has seen the other side of life is how do I fight the urges, if I up my dosage on my own I run short for the month, I require motivation to suppress the urges, it's really complicated, when I do buy a gram I normally use a quarter and dispose of the rest,
The simple answer would be to see another shrink, but due to the breakdown I had and suicide attempt, all therapists would keep me on a minimal dosage as apparently antidepressants can lead to vast suicidal tendencies,
Please tell me how do you manage to overcome the lows to abstain, on the fact that you mentioned about the rehab, I agree professional help will be the best option, sadly in my field of business intelligence I will not be able to take off from work to attend a rehab centre
On days that I do take a higher dosage I don't have any thoughts of even taking a line for weeks, within the past month she lowered my dosage again as to experiment, so on days where I feel worthless and relapse into my depression I use but at a limit, according to my psychiatrist amphetamines are also a serotonin Re uptake inhibitors, I don't agree that she is justifying my usage, she refused to up my ssri dosage and this leads to usage, the irony is that when it wears off I feel worse than ever, the help I require from a veteran like you who has seen the other side of life is how do I fight the urges, if I up my dosage on my own I run short for the month, I require motivation to suppress the urges, it's really complicated, when I do buy a gram I normally use a quarter and dispose of the rest,
The simple answer would be to see another shrink, but due to the breakdown I had and suicide attempt, all therapists would keep me on a minimal dosage as apparently antidepressants can lead to vast suicidal tendencies,
Please tell me how do you manage to overcome the lows to abstain, on the fact that you mentioned about the rehab, I agree professional help will be the best option, sadly in my field of business intelligence I will not be able to take off from work to attend a rehab centre
Hello there, I'm so sorry you're struggling, but glad you found us.
I want to clear a few things up for you, for starters. The whole serotonin imbalance for treating mental illnesses, like depression and anxiety is a THEORY, and to be honest, it's a theory that was created PRIMARILY to market the new SSRI drugs when they were released to the market. Now, the theory about this "chemical imbalance" may actually be true, but as of now, there's simply no way to know that it's a fact, and a LOT of people buy this hook line and sinker when they're put on these drugs.
Understand that I'm in NO way knocking these drugs, the SSRIs have helped ME tremendously, and I'm on Zoloft now (having great success with it too). I just hate to see someone posting who truly believes that without a doubt, they have a chemical imbalance.
That can hold a person back in treating mental illnesses in many ways, including making a person think that medications are the best or the ONLY way they can get better, because they need to balance their chemicals. Obviously, these meds DO work for a large portion of people, which is great, WHY they work isn't completely understood. Obviously, making more serotonin available seems beneficial for people who have depression, anxiety, etc, but does that mean that those people didn't have ENOUGH serotonin? Hard to say.
So, with that out of the way (lol), if I'm understanding you correctly, you take higher doses of your SSRI then Rx'ed at times? Has your doctor recommended that, or are you doing this on your own? The one thing we DO know about these meds is that they must reach a therapeutic level to achieve/maintain a certain level of effectiveness, and if a dosage increase is necessary, it will need to be maintained (not going up and down) and one must give the new dose time, sometimes 2-4 weeks or more before improvements are obvious. Taking a higher dose here and there is actually counterproductive, and probably making you feel worse.
Addiction and mental illnesses often go hand in hand. SO many people find themselves addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, because they're self medicating away the symptoms of their mental illness. One of the KEYS to successful and long lasting recovery is that any underlying mental illness must be treated and addressed, which you've attempted to do, but quite honestly, not in a very appropriate way, and I have a feeling a part of that is maybe based on what your doctor has told you (which is pretty common).
You're correct that getting another opinion from another psychiatrist would be a good idea. You can't go into that worrying that the new doc won't Rx you a high "enough" dose of the antidepressant. There actually ARE very valid reasons why some may be reluctant to go too high with these medications (one reason which you mentioned).
This is one of the problems with getting "stuck" on the chemical imbalance theory. You're now of the mindset that you NEED an SSRI to be properly treated, and you feel if the dose isn't sufficient, you won't be able to manage your condition. Truth is, medications are only ONE component of treating these illnesses. Talk therapy, CBT, lifestyle changes, self help programs, support groups, are just a FEW of the tools that can be added to a treatment program to get a person stabilized and well maintained so that their mental illness isn't becoming debilitating. If you see a new doc and he/she recommends keeping medication as part of your treatment plan, then I would encourage you to stay open minded to his/her suggestions, and of course, you can always ask what the rationale is behind those recommendations. The answer isn't always increasing a medication, or adding a medication.
So, my suggestion is to find a new doctor, and start anew. See what the new doc recommends, based on your history. The new doc can also help you start addressing your addiction, which you DO need help with. If it was easy to walk away, we wouldn't have this forum. It isn't about intelligence, common sense or willpower. Addiction is a a state of mind, it's a disease....and it will cause people to do things VERY out of character for that person in order to seek out their drug of choice. It's not a character flaw, or badly behaved people. People will risk life, limb, and everything they own and everyone they love to secure their active addiction. This is why you need the help of a professional who can assist you in navigating through treating a dual diagnosis, of addiction, with a concurrent mental illness (ie depression). Once your doctor (or new doc) makes a treatment recommendation, you must follow it to the letter, and you must put the "work" in, BOTH for the addiction and for the mental illness. Managing these kinds of conditions takes work. You cannot swallow a pill and spend an hour a week with a therapist and expect it to be perfect. I wish that was the case, but it's definitely not.
Hopefully this info was helpful to you, I wish you the very best!
I want to clear a few things up for you, for starters. The whole serotonin imbalance for treating mental illnesses, like depression and anxiety is a THEORY, and to be honest, it's a theory that was created PRIMARILY to market the new SSRI drugs when they were released to the market. Now, the theory about this "chemical imbalance" may actually be true, but as of now, there's simply no way to know that it's a fact, and a LOT of people buy this hook line and sinker when they're put on these drugs.
Understand that I'm in NO way knocking these drugs, the SSRIs have helped ME tremendously, and I'm on Zoloft now (having great success with it too). I just hate to see someone posting who truly believes that without a doubt, they have a chemical imbalance.
That can hold a person back in treating mental illnesses in many ways, including making a person think that medications are the best or the ONLY way they can get better, because they need to balance their chemicals. Obviously, these meds DO work for a large portion of people, which is great, WHY they work isn't completely understood. Obviously, making more serotonin available seems beneficial for people who have depression, anxiety, etc, but does that mean that those people didn't have ENOUGH serotonin? Hard to say.
So, with that out of the way (lol), if I'm understanding you correctly, you take higher doses of your SSRI then Rx'ed at times? Has your doctor recommended that, or are you doing this on your own? The one thing we DO know about these meds is that they must reach a therapeutic level to achieve/maintain a certain level of effectiveness, and if a dosage increase is necessary, it will need to be maintained (not going up and down) and one must give the new dose time, sometimes 2-4 weeks or more before improvements are obvious. Taking a higher dose here and there is actually counterproductive, and probably making you feel worse.
Addiction and mental illnesses often go hand in hand. SO many people find themselves addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, because they're self medicating away the symptoms of their mental illness. One of the KEYS to successful and long lasting recovery is that any underlying mental illness must be treated and addressed, which you've attempted to do, but quite honestly, not in a very appropriate way, and I have a feeling a part of that is maybe based on what your doctor has told you (which is pretty common).
You're correct that getting another opinion from another psychiatrist would be a good idea. You can't go into that worrying that the new doc won't Rx you a high "enough" dose of the antidepressant. There actually ARE very valid reasons why some may be reluctant to go too high with these medications (one reason which you mentioned).
This is one of the problems with getting "stuck" on the chemical imbalance theory. You're now of the mindset that you NEED an SSRI to be properly treated, and you feel if the dose isn't sufficient, you won't be able to manage your condition. Truth is, medications are only ONE component of treating these illnesses. Talk therapy, CBT, lifestyle changes, self help programs, support groups, are just a FEW of the tools that can be added to a treatment program to get a person stabilized and well maintained so that their mental illness isn't becoming debilitating. If you see a new doc and he/she recommends keeping medication as part of your treatment plan, then I would encourage you to stay open minded to his/her suggestions, and of course, you can always ask what the rationale is behind those recommendations. The answer isn't always increasing a medication, or adding a medication.
So, my suggestion is to find a new doctor, and start anew. See what the new doc recommends, based on your history. The new doc can also help you start addressing your addiction, which you DO need help with. If it was easy to walk away, we wouldn't have this forum. It isn't about intelligence, common sense or willpower. Addiction is a a state of mind, it's a disease....and it will cause people to do things VERY out of character for that person in order to seek out their drug of choice. It's not a character flaw, or badly behaved people. People will risk life, limb, and everything they own and everyone they love to secure their active addiction. This is why you need the help of a professional who can assist you in navigating through treating a dual diagnosis, of addiction, with a concurrent mental illness (ie depression). Once your doctor (or new doc) makes a treatment recommendation, you must follow it to the letter, and you must put the "work" in, BOTH for the addiction and for the mental illness. Managing these kinds of conditions takes work. You cannot swallow a pill and spend an hour a week with a therapist and expect it to be perfect. I wish that was the case, but it's definitely not.
Hopefully this info was helpful to you, I wish you the very best!
I am not familiar with Khat, but I have heard of it and if its an amp then I know all about amp addiction, I take 25mg of adderall a day which isn't exactly the same but I imagine it isn't far off.
I have always been depressed as well and have been on depressants forever, I don't even think they do anything because I have been on them so long. I felt so empty and eventually started taking opiates and got a script for adderall and took that cocktail for almost 3 years.
Amp's are tough to kick because your brain feels dead when you don't take them. I know I can't get out of bed in the morning when I don't take my dose. The only good news is that there are no physical withdrawals to put up with like the opiates.
If I were you I would try to up your meds if that keeps you off the Khat. I know its not the same but try to fill your body with caffeine if you need a boost to get you going. Also I found that liquid B12 is helpful for energy.
You remind me of myself in regards to your depression, and unfortunately people like us tend to abuse substances that can make that depression go away. Its also harder for us to rebound because our brains take longer to produce the good chemicals to balance us out. I have never tried anything more than lexapro for depression but I know I should probably see what is out on the market that is stronger to help keep my demons away.
I have always been depressed as well and have been on depressants forever, I don't even think they do anything because I have been on them so long. I felt so empty and eventually started taking opiates and got a script for adderall and took that cocktail for almost 3 years.
Amp's are tough to kick because your brain feels dead when you don't take them. I know I can't get out of bed in the morning when I don't take my dose. The only good news is that there are no physical withdrawals to put up with like the opiates.
If I were you I would try to up your meds if that keeps you off the Khat. I know its not the same but try to fill your body with caffeine if you need a boost to get you going. Also I found that liquid B12 is helpful for energy.
You remind me of myself in regards to your depression, and unfortunately people like us tend to abuse substances that can make that depression go away. Its also harder for us to rebound because our brains take longer to produce the good chemicals to balance us out. I have never tried anything more than lexapro for depression but I know I should probably see what is out on the market that is stronger to help keep my demons away.
That was awesome NurseGirl.
I fight mental problems too Slim. Plus if you have Bipolar & not Major Depressive Disorder the medication is different. Get a specialist & be evaluated again. Pamela
I fight mental problems too Slim. Plus if you have Bipolar & not Major Depressive Disorder the medication is different. Get a specialist & be evaluated again. Pamela
Thank you so much NurseGirl, you have given me so much to consider and broadened my thought span, I really appreciate the support I receive from here. I would be lying if I said I'm not feeling warm and fuzzy right now
Don I understand exactly how you feel and the constant battle of exorcising these demons, I may have just joined this blog recently, and I see a lot of good people, I see a community and as long as people exist on this blogs we are never truly alone, thank you to everyone, I am taking this one day at a time and let's all make the best of life and find our happiness
Don I understand exactly how you feel and the constant battle of exorcising these demons, I may have just joined this blog recently, and I see a lot of good people, I see a community and as long as people exist on this blogs we are never truly alone, thank you to everyone, I am taking this one day at a time and let's all make the best of life and find our happiness
I see a community and as long as people exist on this blogs we are never truly alone, thank you to everyone, I am taking this one day at a time and let's all make the best of life and find our happiness
Beautifully said! I hope you stick around. I also hope you look into treatment options, for both your addiction and for your depression! We have a great depression community here too, check it out!
Beautifully said! I hope you stick around. I also hope you look into treatment options, for both your addiction and for your depression! We have a great depression community here too, check it out!
Great post Nursegirl!
I have a chemical imbalance and am an addict. I've tried street drugs, psych meds, CBT works best for me. All those patterns of thinking that lead to depression and drug use had me all mixed up. Learning ways to see myself and the world in new ways has changed my instincts. Rather than a drug, I go to my new skills. I'm not sure what my IQ is, but people tell me I'm smart. I know the smarter people are, the harder it is to quit for many. Our ability to justify and rationalize is not a good tool to get clean. I had to get a therapist, doctor, neighbors, everyone I know I recruited for help and accountability. No one of those things did it, it was involving all of my life that kept me going in the hard times. If we don't develop new ways to cope, I don't think we will ever do much differently. Insanity is trying the same thing over and over expecting different results. A smart insane person is not always effective. I am sure I am smarter than several of the folks who have helped me most. Keep us posted.
I have a chemical imbalance and am an addict. I've tried street drugs, psych meds, CBT works best for me. All those patterns of thinking that lead to depression and drug use had me all mixed up. Learning ways to see myself and the world in new ways has changed my instincts. Rather than a drug, I go to my new skills. I'm not sure what my IQ is, but people tell me I'm smart. I know the smarter people are, the harder it is to quit for many. Our ability to justify and rationalize is not a good tool to get clean. I had to get a therapist, doctor, neighbors, everyone I know I recruited for help and accountability. No one of those things did it, it was involving all of my life that kept me going in the hard times. If we don't develop new ways to cope, I don't think we will ever do much differently. Insanity is trying the same thing over and over expecting different results. A smart insane person is not always effective. I am sure I am smarter than several of the folks who have helped me most. Keep us posted.
Insanity is trying the same thing over and over expecting different results . Einstein's theory on sanity, I agree a lot of people turn to substances as a coping mechanism, we were introduced to it by curiosity, peer pressure, free will thinking etc, however because in moments of despondency, weakness or impulsiveness we turn to a coping substance, if only we realise our potential of our brain power, we have yet to harness it at its finest capacity, we all have the power and opportunity to be make an impact on one another, to make a difference in our lives, by just being a part of this community, you already subconsciously made that choice to be better
I made a conscious decision to be a positive influence on people's thinking on this forum and elsewhere. I used to do way more stuff subconsciously, opiates had me in a dream state, much like a dong knowing what is going on, but feeling very little influence over. I was just responding all the time. That is what time off drugs has done for me. I can say that I like myself, I can say that I help a lot of people, I can say I am trying my hardest to be the best me their is, and I don't even have to disqualify it by saying, "not to brag or anything," or, "Not to sound egocentric." Those are the gifts that make not using in times of desperation. I don't want to act out of desperation any long, but out of good conscience and intentions. I know it took a long time, but having a general sense of progress has set it. I cling to progress over perfection daily. If things aren't getting better, I jump on that as soon as I notice. I can't sit still, I am getting better or worse. If I spend the rest of my life improving, I bet I'll be a pretty cool old man to talk to. I'll never be good enough or as bad as I was, that gives me hope. Socrates spoke of entelechy of an acorn, it's greatest potential is the hope that brings happiness, not achieving, but striving for it. Once we get there, we become worm food. I find that if I get depressed it helps to do one thing to make the world better. I might clean out the chicken coop, like yesterday, or do the recycling, but I think it helps to Know I am doing a good thing, no matter how I feel. I always say, "Keep focused on being good, it will feel good eventually."
Good news, so far so good, going on five days and counting up to a lifetime of happiness ahead
7 Days!!! That is so good!!! You are definitely on your way. Keep moving forward. No going back.
How are you doing? Along with the good is the bad. Vent away here if you need.
How are you doing? Along with the good is the bad. Vent away here if you need.
Actually the only bad is a touch of the cold but apart from that it's going great, away from temptation and keeping myself occupied :) an idle mind really is the devils workshop
Still going strong, I feel like I'm never alone since I have found this site, living it one day at a time being happy until that last day :) and hope I can help those in that dark place to come out
COMMUNITY LEADER
Congrats slim!!! Keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward~
Thanks Domino, tho its a very long weekend, going to be a mission to keep myself occupied, got some online gaming planned, grooming my pooch. And talk him out to the dog park, tho my pit bull gives me a workout, had a stupid thought already about buying a gram but thank heaven my self control won by reminding me why I joined this community :) here's to a happy easter to everyone and god bless
I have always read ,watched movies and fascinated with superheroes ,the real heroes has always been in front of me the whole time, My Father and Mother
You are so right. I too am blessed with a wonderful Mother and Father. I strive to be like them for my girls.
You slim are doing awesome. What is it today? 12 days or do? Close to 2 weeks. Keep on keeping busy. Moving forward.
Hope you have a wonderful Easter this weekend. Spend it with the heros.
You slim are doing awesome. What is it today? 12 days or do? Close to 2 weeks. Keep on keeping busy. Moving forward.
Hope you have a wonderful Easter this weekend. Spend it with the heros.
Congratulations ... you are an inspriation...
Weaver, thank you for such positive comments, today I will try to do more for others and get out of myself...
Weaver, thank you for such positive comments, today I will try to do more for others and get out of myself...
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