relapse.....i do not want to//but i want to???

[worried878]

I was laid off from my job on Tuesday...times r tough....plus my guy is moving and decided he is getting back together with his x/i think...he wont break up but he is staying over there....so to me it is a done deal..he is a puss and wont do the dirty work of saying it is over//so i had to...and i didnt need the stress this week...she found out we were planning to marry next yr and things got intense//she had him arrested for trespassing and he caved///loves the 9 yr old//i am done///wont go there right now..but he is a weak person....a very bad week in general for me..instead of going to my doc///i turned to drinking....gone to meetings every night...cant go down!  gonna see a counseler too..i need to talk..i am gonna explode if i do not!

I lost my job that i had for 9 yrs...I lost him///and i loved him but now i dont know why I did/do/but am letting go....i always come out on my feet/im down but trying hard not to relapse...i havent been posting cos i havent been out of my bed much at all this week til yesterday for a gym trip and today to lay on the beach...did me good tho...and is the reason i am up at this hour//i get depressed and go to bed at 8 pm!   Losses all at once can test us....i love this forum ///everyone is so supportive....i will be ok...but relapse is in my mind cos i am weak/needy....thanks for letting me share

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Hey lady! - - Well....we know a little about whats going on with each other - - I was thinking just this morning on the way here how nice it might be to medicate once more......could even be medically justified. But I stopped so that I wouldnt hit a particular time or place in life and need the meds...... that was also the proper decision to make for me. The choice isnt any less valid because its a new day..... or because there are new problems.... That actually validates the earlier choice to stop even more.....and further enforces the decisions already made.  I am glad to see that you put some things on the forum for support - - you have given so much to so many ..... You know the people here are behind you all the way.   And just think about things for a sec - - do you really want to give Kleen a reason to arm herself?  The thought of a .38 in her hand sends shivers down my spine!! - - - -  nowhere to run and nowhere to hide .........................

[road2recovery]

I am very sorry to hear about your losses....You know for a long time, I use to think How can worried work in a hospital with all these drugs that made us addicts ..What a DAM STRONG woman.... AND i know you are....I am so glad you posted, We are all here to help you...If you want my phone number I would be glad to give it to you...Go to a meeting today, and post away, you are very loved here!!!  BIG HUGS
R2R

[beatingthis]

My sweet strong friend,

you know you are stronger then that. You have always been here for me and it is my privilege to be here for you. I do know you well enough to know you are one tuff women.
We all get down and we all get bad breaks, it is being a addict that makes us handle it differently then others. You are doing everything right, even dumping weak boy.
I would really like to see you with someone that is around a bit more and has less baggage.
Sorry just me being me.

Luv Ya so much!!
Be kind to yourself!

Terry

[whitie]

best of luck on that. sounds like you have made the right choice, given hes playing games with you. I wish I could offer some advice......


what else can you do?

[dominosarah]

I am sorry to hear about what is going on.  No man or woman is worth losing your clean time too.  It will only bring more pain and hardship......you know that.  Drinking isnt the answer either.  What is the answer is getting up out of bed, going to meetings, hitting the gym, cranking up the music and feeling this........not numbing it up.  I am glad you posted and are reaching out.  We are here to help you just like you have done for all of us.  Dig deep into that soul of yours and come out fighting.....you are in control of you not your addiction..........hugs to you        sara

Oh and i will be right behind IBK.....in case she misses i wont!!!!!!!

[10356]

Hey worried.. I'm so sorry you are going through all that you are.. I understand that feeling you want to but don't.. We all know that if you did use, matters would just become worse and depression will hit a all time low.. drug testing for a new job and the many other things that come along with using.. loosing your job sure is screwed up after 9 years. I always got the feeling you enjoyed it also.. but maybe this will open up for you a chance to explore new opportunity's that you have entertained but held back as you did enjoy your job.. as for the guy.. He is not worth loosing your clean time over.. I say Thank goodness you know exactly what he is made off right now then to find out even later.. You deserve so much more then this Fool.. I'm very grateful that you are hitting AA meetings as drinking takes us down fast.. Definitely not worth waking up feeling physical sick along with the emotional.. You are strong and very intelligent.. Things will be ok just make the good things happen for you as you are the only one that can.. You have helped so many and helped me with your words so often I feel honored although saddened to be able to add a lil support your way.. warmly lesa