sneaky addiction

[lovinmy4]

My fiance' can take over 30 percocets in less than 2 days, it scares me, he was so bad off on oxy's he was starting heron to help from the withdrawls, he will make EVERY excuse to go to the doctors, from a headache, to a pain in his back, to get pain meds, i have told him i will leave him if he keeps it up, i have BEGGED him to get help and it seems like NOTHING is working, i want my daughter to have a father.  he is 24 and haS already had a stroke..what should i do? is there an easier approach to wien him off???  He has gotten so bad to sneak and lie about where hes getting pills from or that he even has any. I had a ceasection this past nov. and i had 30 percocets after i was discharged. and OF course i would HIDE my bottle, but everytime i would go to take a pill cause of the pain, there would be alot missing, and he would accuse me of taking them all. I can make a bottle of 30 last LONGER than a month, cause i only take it when desperatly needed. PLEASE HELP

[partyof5mom]

I can totally sympathize with your situation. In the years before my husband's addiction rubbed off on me I was in your same position. He was never quite as heavy, but still as scary and heart wrenching to watch. There were SO MANY times when I would be afraid to go to work early in the mornings and leave him to wake up with our daughters in fear that they'd wake one day to wake him and he'd be dead... I know you want to help him and it sounds like you do want to be with him, however, you have to put your child and yourself first.

I learned over the years that an addict will do or say absolutely anything to get what they want. In their minds, they need it to survive. But... you can not make anyone do this if they dont want it for themselves. I can not stress that enough!! That is exactly why I'm here on this forum myself. I need it and I want it so badly for myself  now that my husband is finally one and a half months clean and especially since I have recently found out I'm pregnant.

Honeslty before my own addiction came into play, I had to come to the decision of whether I loved him so much that I was willing to stand by and watch him hurt and possibly kill himself or whether I just wanted to get divorced and say forget it. My decision was to stay and hope for the best, press the issue as gently as possible and offer support... but that is not always the right decision for everyone. Just dont make the mistake that I made and let his addiction ever become your own. Take care of yourself and you child as best you can and do what YOU feel is best to help him. Sometimes ultimatums work, other times they make the situation worse. I will be thinking of you because I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. PM me if i can help!

[123456m]

Leave! Staying with him now as you also have your baby will only eat at your own self'-esteem. The other posters are spot on nothing will happen until he chooses not you or he gets arrested which is not a bad thing  really he will then become clean but with a record.
This is the time for whatever family support you can get. I mean what kind of life is this with that many percs I doubt he even has a sex drive and a stroke at 24. You only can do for you and your baby I know its hard but you need to forget trying to get him to become clean I have never seen it happen just using words with a active addict thta does not want to quit.
Keep postings for every problem there is a solution hang in there
Trust in your family even if they give you some advice you do not like they are thinking of you and your baaby first that is more thatn what your boyfriend is doing.
Wishing you the best

[dominosarah]

Nothing you can say or do will change his mind until he is ready to change.....You need to take care of you and your baby and that may require you to leave.  Idle threats dont mean anything to an active addict.......I know as i have been there.  Look into some help for you such as Alanon.  They are very supportive and understand just what you are going thru.  I wish you the best.......sara

[IBKleen]

Cathy is right---you cannot help an addict who won't help himself.

He is a heavy user and I think in-patient treatment is the way to go for him. Again, he has to want the help.

Best of luck to you and your baby. Please be good to yourself.

[cathy5841]

what you are experiencing is the actions of a true addict.  we have lied and stolen to support our habit, i think.  there is nothing you can do til he sees he has a problem and wants help.  you can not doit for him.  you need to concentrate on protecting you and the baby from his lies.  GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND THE LITTLE ONE.