to hell and on my way back

[BeyondScrewed]

Ill keep this short because I'm sure many of u doubt anything I say, with good reason. Most of you probably think I'm dead. And frankly, after these last 2 months I should be. How I am still alive, employed, and somehow landed a wonderful and smokin hot new girl is beyond me. I have a dr appt in 2 wdeks to beg for help. I went from simply abusing oxy, to speedballing 2-4 bags of rock mixed with the oxy and a gram of H. God must really want me around for a bit longer and I cam no longer ignore this fact. You will be hearing from me again soon. Only good things from now on.

[littlebit667]

I  guess my question is why are you on a suicide mission?  LIke many of us addicts..our addiction is usually fueled by something we are hiding from that is killing is inside.  I hope you find your demon so you can put it to rest.  Good luck!

[Pat1956100]

I think it's fantastic that your girlfriend doesn't use.  I was afraid to ask but I am glad I did lol.  I am sure she will help you keep that appointment if you have been upfront with her.  You have a lot to live for so fight for your life.  You are worth it.

[frjs85]

hi
glad to hear u stopped with the speed. as im sure you know brew, mixing uppers and downers is always a real bad idea, as are all drugs. your heart doesnt know whether to speed up or slow down. Opiates are tough to get off of, but it is possible. just be honest with yourself and start building a foundation for your future. You can do it!!

[selfinduced]

Hey Beyond, Glad to see you and happy your sounding so positive. What an incentive you have in your current path. All seems to be looking up, now it's time to do as you say and upright the last of the ills in your world. I can almost see your 3  month post now!!!! I know your appt isn't for 2 weeks, but can you start building your dream team right now? Going to meetings, getting sober friends, etc? I have faith in you. Thanks for the check in. Was wondering.

[Andie015]

I was wondering what was going on with you too. You seem to have been given so many chances...something a lot of us don't get...just stop messing around with that terrible stuff. You are in too deep and I'm curious to see if you keep that appointment. There are some here who don't believe you will and I'm sorry to say I'm one of them. Please prove us all wrong and do SOMETHING to help yourself. Your luck is going to run out...along with your life. Stop that from happening...only you can do it...not us...not your family and not that smoking hot girlfriend....DO SOMETHING...

[BeyondScrewed]

I'm not proud. If that's how it sounded. Amazed? Yes. Proud? No

Yes, son in my life. And whefher you believe this or not, NEVER has he been put in harms way. Id prefer not to argue about it cause I'm sure you don't think that's possible, but I assure u it is

No, girlfriend does not use. I was upfront with her. But no. Which I thinl is a good thing.

The rock is gone. As is the H. Ive been able to do that before. Just like that at the drop if a hat. Just these f'ing pills......