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9518579 tn?1408019480

whos out there w/ding with me?

8 days clean off of methadone 105mg tapered down to 45mg...went thru the first 5days in a detox.(thats all they could hold me for) last 2 days they gave me 4 doses of subutex 4mg 4mg 2mg 2mg then said ur good to go RIIIGGHHT. the first day out i felt ok then the next morning I felt pretty good, and then it crept up on me like a assassin. first the anxiety and heart pounding then the aches of bones and joints. there was a point it was so bad i forced myself to sit still and accept the pain just kinda welcomed it in my body then my feet kinda just went numb with a vibrating sensation. lasted about 15mins then had to get up and walk around. and oh my the head games are worse than i ever thought its like my brain is so fing confused and i have no control over it, i get really angry sometimes like i wish this disease could manifest itself in a physical form so i can beat the **** out of it. but all in all im doing ok 8days in and running the road of recovery never to look back at the drugs chasing me. MH and the people here have givin me so much support and kindness it has really helped me a lot so i just wanted to try and give some back. keep posting for support. together we can beat this, KEEPING THE FAITH.......
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Avatar universal
My first 6 months off methadone, I wished I was in a rehab or some safe environment where my only responsibility was to work my aftercare. I think this is a great idea. I felt horrible ignoring my family to go to meetings daily, going to therapy, working out, my whole life was recovery. My wife even expressed some jealousy of my new friends, I was spending more time with recovery people than her. Jump in with both feet and never look back.
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Avatar universal
It's impossible to wear out your welcome here, but if you need time away, I totally get that. Your thinking is not 100%, I think you agree.  Remember, your feelings are not our feelings. I relate to your situation a lot, so I always check your postings. I also disappear for awhile when needed. I just want to say that I'll be looking for you when you get back. Do what you have to do, but always make recovery a major part of each day, here or otherwise. You're rockin buddy. He who takes the plow and looks back is not fit forthright kingdom. I tested that as a farmer. It is true, I could never furrow nor plow a straight line unless I looked forward I tithe distance.
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9518579 tn?1408019480
Well I mean  going to not post on my threadsfor awhile u guys have been my gasoline and the tanks going empty...so Im going to refill it by trying to help others now and stop being selfish with my feelings...sry im not me......anymore or the old me im new and not used to it at all.........
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Avatar universal
Do both, help when you can, whimper when you want to. Sharing pain and joy, anxiety and tranquility, experience it all and express yourself don't repress yourself. But I follow what you're getting at, thanks for clarifying. I find your energetic mind and creativity coming out in the light. Let it shine brother, let it shine. See ya round then.
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9518579 tn?1408019480
Thanks weaver u r a inspiration for me and im sure many others.
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Avatar universal
Still with ya. I'm at 10 days clean but got myself dehydrated so i telt like wD all over again. A tad better today. Kinda depressed and overwhelmed but I'm in aftercare so I think I'm where I'm supposed to be. Xoxox
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Avatar universal
Hello, I'm with you...I jumped off the methadone train also-Thursday morning, 8am was my last dose. I tried to taper and did it too quickly, I think, but now I'm on day 4 and just want to freaking sleep! I don't though, I lay there and twitch...I tried clonidine for the first time today and it really really is helping. I want to run, but my body disagrees with my mind...just want to say hey, you're not alone and it helps me knowing you are kicking a$$ too! Thanks for sharing your story!
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