how do i cope?????

[witheredrose]

My mom is a breast cancer survivor, and while she was doing chemptherapy she got pregnant with me.(shes told me this a few times) The doctor tried to talk her into aborting me because I was at high risk for developmental problems. She refused to do it, and here I am now..miserable and afraid. I wish she would of,  because i dont think my dad wanted me and I dont think he wants me now. I dont belong here.  My dad drinks whiskey every other night, sometimes 2 nights in a row. And then when hes drunk he treats me like im dirt. I know hes drinking because of me, hes drank my whole life, but I wish he wouldnt be so mean all the time. He never tells me he loves me, my mom doesnt either.  Theyve never really showed love at all as long as I can remember. I dont know how to cope with it, the way he is when hes drunk, he calls me names sometimes. He has even told me "go cut yourself some more!" I hear the saying "a drunk mans thoughts is a sober mans words" and that makes it worse. Because now I feel even more like he doesnt want me or love me. Any odeas how to cope?

[witheredrose]

I dont want to go live somewhere else.

[Life360_Dave]

there are many situations in life that others are coping with. Some better than yours and some worse than yours. Try not to look a the way you came into the world, just be thankful that you are here and have life. As far as your home situation, can you go live with a relative or something, sounds like you need to get out of there, i want to say keep out of your fathers way but i dont believe that will help. Do you have any other place your can live?
dave

[witheredrose]

Thank you!

[RainLover71]

so sorry to hear this Rose,you don't deserve this type of treatment--no one does.You are special however and we have talked about this before.Many people here at medhelp think you're wonderful.You are wise and talented with art and poetry.You're right,there is no magic switch but I want you to know how much people care for you on here.It's so sad that you live in such an environment like that.We all want to be loved but in some family homes the love just isn't there.You belong in this world and you deserve happiness.