Debate: is watching porn cheating?

[superdog19]

I know everyone has their own opinions, I am curious what you guys think.  Is it ok to masturbate watching porn, or is that a form of betraying your significant other?  Or is it circumstancial, and up to the people in each individual relationship to decide together?

[lisahead]

The correct answer is so obvious. NO

[Julie59x5]

I think its ok as long as the other partner is not being left out intentionally ...ie.one partner is mad at the other for not wanting to fool around and is using it as to say **** u ill masterbate watching porn ...i dont need you ..type of sernario. !!

[GuitarRox]

ya, that sounds about right. Thanks for posting.  

[DeeWhite]

I made a point of making videos WITH my husband so he could use those instead of waching the ****** on the internet. Today I discovered that it doesn't matter. He's going to do it anyway and I'll be honest with you, it feels like cheating.

[SomeOneElze]

I made videos too! I feel like when he jerks off to other women he is getting off to the idea of ******* then, which is cheating. You shouldn’t be cumming to the idea of cheating on your spouse. That in itself is cheating to me.

[PlockMe]

Two years ago i read a study that watching porn while having sex is a sexual dysfunction that affects many men born in the 1990ies, The reason was simple, they grew up with easy access to internet porn, when they entered adulthood the habit had become second nature so they were not able to have normal sex with real girls, when the porn was missing they were unable to ejaculate and some were unable to achieve and maintain an erection.

Porn is not cheating, those guys do it because its the only way they are able to have sex.

[Solostandupset]

losingmymind,

i totally agree with you, my fiance' has been watching porn almost daily even after i told him it hurt me.  He said he stopped after i told him that but I know he hasn't which hurt me more because I know he's lying to me now.  I also know hes hiding in the bathroom with me home and masturbating.  I am a VERY SEXUAL person who loves every aspect of intimacy and sex. I never turn it down, love snuggling and trying new things. I don;t understand the need if I;m right there and willing.  
He has all the classic symptoms of a Porn Addict (If you haven't read about them look it up) he's withdrawn from me , less sex and touching (with me) its all about HIM and I have to initiate.  
Do I think its cheating YES. Sex and Intimacy should be with your significant other, if you are seeking it elsewhere then why be in a relationship?  Get out instead of hurting someone else!

solostandupset

[Lonely_betrayed]

I'm in your situation. He tells me he hasn't watched it for ages but know he's lying about it! He rarely touches me anymore and it's always me that's gotta go in for a snuggle or ask for a kiss etc. I wanna scream and shout at him about it but he always turns it on me and says I shouldn't be upset because yes he's with me. but doesn't come to me when he feels the urge and that hurts me massively!

[Kitkat2702]

My husband works on the road and we only see each other a week out of each month. He looks at porn and masturbates to it but is also very open abt it. I'm not mad abt it. I'd rather him do that than actually cheat on me.

[ojhs32]

Its disrespectful if your partner makes it clear they find it hurtful, dont like it or view it as cheating. Some people may be ok with masturbating over porn on a relationship and aren't bothered , others find it only ok with there partners participation or knowing of it and some people really dislike it and personally feel insecure when their partner looks at photos or videos. Every relationship is different but if your partner is not ok with you watching porn and it would upset them then you shouldn't out of respect

[Dalubaba]

Even if you see a woman exercising or in a particular mode, it gives the impatient as of porno.
There must be a way out to thin of sex in some other way which make it a sacred thing. There are books how to covert sexual energy into mental energy and mental energy into spiritual eneery. Focusing on this aspect can help to reduce sexual disorders. patch work will not work.  

[kindhearted89]

In Japan, Most men don't need Porn. For the reason Women submit to their lover, than the women just say no, I don't feel like it tonight as us men JUST DIED INSIDE!! Feel unwanted!!!! You women what us to talk and show emotions as we men get shot down of not now, not tonight honey, not in the mood....so ******* what!!! You had to get things done you had to do and now your lover wants you, submit to his emotional needs or here coming CHEATING that YOU asked for of denying his EMOTIONAL HUMAN NEEDS to be loved by YOU!!!! So Yes 85% of young and old men do it, because women don't play along with men fantasy as you're the fantasy. You want to be wanted it, here you go!!! NO HONEY NOT IN THE MOOD!!! ALL MEN SAY: WTF!!!! I get rejected by my own lover. why? Women body chemicals change having sex, so while you're mood is not there. It w'ill be there when he's pounding you after 5 mins. Female brain will 100% react turning your body chemicals to be turned on and in the moood 100%. This is a fact!!! Remember you reject us loyal men to many times. Well us men will think, I in the mood for a long time as I'm rejected this long. I'm going to get some action as rape is wrong and against the law. So I'm going find someone or look at porn to feel better of the sexual energy build up needs to be released.

[kindhearted89]

Thank You!

[Dalubaba]

Sex is a sacred thing. If a couple is fully satisfied with each other , there will be harmony in a family and this will end up with healthy family with happiness. The moment you start watching porno, your subconscious mind imprints these frames occupying space in your psyche and reduce your source of energy.Watching porno means you are hungry all the time and not satisfied with your partner.If research is done on mind because of porno, I am sure we will find many mental disorders.Real sex, full body orgasm, ans waves of love encircling the couple will make a big difference. This can happen if you are not a watcher.Most of ED patients are porno watchers.

[SoLastCentury]

MY TAKE: Porn (used secretly) is kind of like cheating in the sense that it is like shopping for another partner. I understand it also kind of not because you don't actually get physical with another person. But...you aren't behaving in a way that typically leads to greater closeness, intimacy, or mutual pleasure.

It is turning away from your partner instead of turning toward them. (I'm not talking about porn that is used together with partners or porn that is used when the other person knows. That's different.) In my view, x-xxx porn used in secret is more like cheating than it is not.

Think of it this way. Imagine I go online to look for some new shoes. I can pick any kind, any style, any size. I customize my search and then pick the pair I want. The website lets me look at them from different angles, zoom in/out, maybe find something similar or the same style in a new material. I could click around all day just looking for new shoes. I think about outfits that different shoes would match. And I definitely think about how they would look and feel on my feet. Maybe I don't even end up actually buying any shoes. I never put them in my cart - or if I do I just don't check out. So my feet never go into that new pair of shoes. But although I didn't go ALL the way through the purchase process, you can be damn sure I was shopping. And when I have to wear my old shoes, I'll definitely wish I had that new, cute pair to wear even though I love the shoes I already have. Since I went shopping around, I know what I'm missing and I resent not being able to have it.

MY STORY: Apparently husband watches porn. We are intimate a lot (I rarely say no. Even during the week that it is not possible for me, it's bl** job week for him.) He doesn't think porn is a big deal. I just found this out quite by accident as he asked for help with his phone. He was with me when I found it. I didn't comment much except to say I was surprised and that it seems a bit like cheating. He said he doesn't equate it to adultery at all.

If it isn't a big deal, then... would it be ok for me to get texts from some guy with pics of his penis? Let's say I don't know the guy at all - I just get pics. No convo or anything back from me. Just all **** pics every day. My husband would be Furious. He would be angry about that. So why should I tolerate him actively seeking out other women to look at.

Maybe that's the trouble I have with it (in my own relationship.  Obviously it is not going to mean the same thing to everyone.) It's that he is shopping around for someone else and I'm supposed to be ok with that even though he would not tolerate the same from me.

[AnonClown]

What if it is a Long Distance Relationship? Would porn be ok to masturbate? I see alot of replies saying its degrading to masturbate when im not there blahblablah but I dont see anything about long distance relationships.

[Mommysboys2]

Porn is cheating...you. fantasizing and thinking about touching and being with someone else. That's emotionally and mentally cheating. To compare it to a chick flick is stupid. There are not completley naked showing all body parts as in a pornography. They are sometimes doing crazy sexual things. I'm going through something right now as well. I feel like its cheating. He is committed to me. And I to him so why is it ok to look at another woman completey naked touching herself or having sex with someone else. Im not shy in the bedroom either. I'm pretty adventorous so to know that he watched porn upsets me Bc I have a very high sex drive .  Porn is cheating and the people that justify it whatever....if your young and single by all means have a great time. Being in a monogomous and committed relationship is just that!

[Lolamorris16]

Just because most guys do it doesn't make it right we have our views and I believe porn is cheating because you are making your wife feel like she is not as good as these women in pictures and videos. I see no difference in a man physically sitting there and watching it happen and on a computer screen. The only difference is with it being online you can hide it easier. The man is searching on the Internet for a sexier lady than his own.

[Lolamorris16]

I know that didn't really make much sense but short story cut short porn is cheating it's like looking at someone's bum In th street why would you understand this but if your wife was to be angry at you looking at fully naked women is that okay

[Lolamorris16]

Would you find it okay for your wife to watch sexy naked men have sex? It's like looking at another ladies bum with your wife by your side in public.Your girlfriend/wife would be angry about that and you would understand but it's different if it is on a phone or computer screen where another lady your man is admiring is fully naked "Honey it's normal for men to do this I'm not cheating I'm just looking at naked woman and having secret desires for them demoralising women and treating them as sex objects". I believe porn is suggesting in order for the man to feel satisfied they need to search "sexy lady porn" more like "find me a sexier woman than my wife". This is how a woman and young girls Feel. I am only 16 yet these are my views. I think porn is just as bad as having intercourse with someone else but your partner because, because watching these videos or looking at these images makes your man think "wow I want to have sex with her" because the sexual pleasure takes over your mind. So why is porn okay if it makes your man feel separated from you for that length of time he is looking at porn? And I understand some women are just as bad but the majority of comments are about men watching porn.

[emmamyers]

I fidn it strange that it has become acceptable to watch peoples lives get ruined and sexually degraded while we touch ourselves and make our partners feel hurt..all for what???

[khthomas]

I agree it is degrading, my husband too is addicted.  I have told him how I feel, he lies about it even when I have placed a recording device in the bedroom while I go to work, and had webwatcher installed on his phone, tablet and computer. He does not have sex with me, he threatens me, calls me all kinds of degrading stuff and still refuses to admit it when he is caught red handed.  he even tried telling me it was a movie he was watching on t.v.. I cant afford to leave and he wont leave.  As long as I keep my f.... pie hole shut I am safe, I am sick and tired of this.  I work full time hours, he's retired he has been doing this our whole marriage but I was too stupid to catch on until 15 years ago, we have been married 30.

[WillieWanker]

  "Nothing good comes from it?" You must be using it incorrectly.

[WillieWanker]

What is a "satisfying" sex life? Can you expect another to "satisfy" your desires? I neither expect my partner to satisfy all of my needs, nor do I think I can satisfy hers.  Masturbation is a tool, not a sign of disrespect. And whether your method of excitation is a Playboy magazine, online porn, or a romance novel, it is not a substitute for a loving, understanding relationship.

[WillieWanker]

I don't think it's ever a matter of how beautiful you are. You could be Miss America and a man will, (I would) still want to think about other women. It is "think about" and not "act upon those thoughts" that we should be considering. I firmly believe that the male is NOT genetically programmed to be monogamous. In order to create families, we've created laws and norms that necessitate marriage and the monogamous relationship. Think about it. If he didn't want you, why would he be with you? I love my wife dearly, and would never hurt her intentionally, but to deny my animal instinct to procreate with other women, I masturbate. It is easier to please yourself than to please someone else.

[WillieWanker]

But in the end, you dumped him. He must have thought that your relationship was more than just sexual, if not, why would he be with you?

[WillieWanker]

What is the difference whether or not there are pictures involved? You're okay with him thinking about someone else, but not looking at a picture. I don't understand. What do you think he's thinking about without a picture?

[WillieWanker]

If your relationship is primarily about sex, than I agree, you have a problem. Men, biologically want to spread the seed and can get aroused by a variety of women. It's not that he doesn't like having sex with you, but that he (we) are genetically programmed to be aroused by many different women. To make sure the species doesn't die, we can be (are) attracted by a wide variety. If there is more than sex there, and you should know by the way he treats you (is he kind to you, does he give you his time, his treasure, most of his inner thoughts), than you shouldn't be so insecure. Masturbation, for myself, is a way to keep physically faithful to the woman I love. If he knows that you dislike his habit, don't expect him to be forthcoming about it. It's hard for me to generalize, but for myself, I married my wife because we have the same goals in family, finance, and lifestyle. I am physically faithful to her, even though I have masturbated since I was old enough to realize that I could bring myself off at age 9. If you are looking for a guy who doesn't masturbate, you may have a long wait.