32 weeks pregnant and this has got to be the end

[NeedsToStop8]

I have been taking pain pills for about 5 years now. A 7.5 would get me high for about a year or 2 and then when I met my husband it got worse. He liked taking them on the weekends, just for fun just like I was doing. We had a great hook up so they were always available. We would take hydro or percocet 10's on the weekends and then none throughout the week. Of course it got worse and then we were on to taking them ALL the time. The money we spend on these things are ridiculous. I found out I was pregnant in June 2011. I stop taking them for a week because I was so high off the fact we were having a baby and didnt want to do anything to hurt it. We decided to get 4 perc 10's one night and then never take them again. He had 2 I had 2. Well that started the roller coaster back over. Since I have had a healthy pregnancy and the baby is growing exactly like he is suppose to (he is actually measuring a week bigger than he is suppose to be) it made me feel like it was OK and the baby wasn't being affected by all of this. I know I shouldnt be taking pain pills and  the only problem I have found is risking the baby being addicted and going thru withdrawal once it is born. I want to stop my last 8 weeks to ensure baby be born pain free. Today is my first day without a pill. My doctors have no clue I take these pills. I go to all my appts and everythings is always great. I have had a 4d ultrasound and he is the prettiest little boy EVER. His heart, kidneys, all his organs are perfect via ultrasound. I just know this has to be the end of it all. I can't take anymore. I have tried my whole pregnancy to quit and never made it past day 1. My husband and I have talked and we are doing this together. We know in order to have a healthy baby this can not go on! I have been taking up to 30mg of hydro's or percs a day. Whichever we had. I take 15 mg at a time mostly a dose in the morning and a dose at night. Some days 45mgs but that is only like once a week. I do chew the pills when I take them to get a faster high. This is the first time I have admitted this and I feel terrible just writing it. I feel like I can't get up in the mornings without a pill just to clean, cook, play with my daughter or even have a good day. I have went maybe 2 days without a pill through my whole pregnancy and I do have withdrawals but I dont think they are as bad as most go through. I think mine is more mental and that is where my problem is. The physical is not great tho, I dont want to do anything, even be nice! And of course I am the sweetest person EVER when im high. No one knows about this besides my husband. I just need to STOP and I am so scared of not getting high anymore!!!!! I dont need preaching on withdrawals and pre term labor, or that I need to talk to my doctor. I am no doing that. I have tried weening myself off by cutting down the mgs everyday and I always do good until I am about done and then I just give up and do 15mgs again. I have to quit cold turkey there is no other way, I just need support, someone that was in my shoes. I hate these things, they consume my life, I live around them and this has to be the end...it has to be!!!!!!

[MD75]

Your biggest fear is the baby will go thru withdrawl, and it will.  If the nurses suspect anything, and it is easy to pin point the withdrawl babies then they will test the baby.  I would talk to your doctor, they will not judge like you think they will...I am sure they have seen way worse.  You need to wean off these NOW.  Stopping cold turkey can hurt the baby, even possibly cause a miscarriage or early labor.  Please seek medical advice and let them give you a weaning schedule....it will be the best thing for that precious baby that you already love.  Let your love for that baby give you strength over the pills.  You can private message me or friend me if u want to talk more.  I worked in a maternity unit for years and I have seen everything.  I don't and wont judge you...I am on here for the same reason as you...only about 8 - 10 Norcos daily.  Reach out and you will get the help you need, if not medically than definately emotionally.  Good luck and congrats.
~Shelly~

[NeedsToStop8]

I am not trying to be stubborn folks. I love this baby with all my heart and honestly I dont think any problems will arise in the long term aspect. I know people who are prescribed more pain meds by there obgyn than I take without a prescription. I am looking for support. I will be clean when I go into labor so as far as child care services go, I dont need any advice on that. What is done to me and baby is already done, there is nothing I can do to change it. I am looking for support in just leaving these things alone! I have 8 weeks to stay clean and have a healthy baby! I am sorry if some of you get mad because I am not telling my doctor, it is my choice. I am quitting cold turkey and I am praying that all is well. If yesterday was my last and it stays my last until delivery I hope all will be well. I am planning on breastfeeding for atleast 6 months and I never ever wanna start these things again....EVER, just please respect what I am doing and give me advice, not lectures.

[ImDONENoMore]

Your attitude is awful.  That might be something to start with.

[Bkitty]

Hi there again,,im just curious about something,,how do you know that you are not putting you unborn baby in danger? What makes you justify that? Is it because you are relying on what you have heard or read? I just think to be really safe about this you need to tell your OB doctor. You cant rely on someone elses experience or what you have read. I think you are still somewhat in denial.You are putting your baby at risk if you cold turkey off the drugs. If it were me,,I wouldnt take that chance of making my baby suffer.You are only thinking about yourself and not the baby. I dont mean at all to be harsh,,please dont take this that way. I genuinely care about you. You can do this. Just be safe and rational. ~Bkitty

[vicki595]

Your entire thread gives me pause.

At this moment, I am looking over at my beautiful daughter with the knowledge that I have never done ONE thing to hurt her.

Having that unborn child inside of you should be ENOUGH support for you. If it isn't, what in the hell do you expect of us?  Respect you say? Advice?

LEAVE THE PILLS ALONE!  There's the best advice anyone can give you.

[Texas50881234]

I'm sorry but I have to agree with the other posters. You have absolutely no idea how these have affected or will affect your unborn child.  You claim you want support but yet you only want to hear what you want to hear.

Unfortunately for you (but great fir ur baby) our support comes with the advice of seeking out medical help from your doctor. Would you willingly hand someone a knife and let them cut your baby- tell them not to cut him bad enough to kill him - just hurt him a little. Years down the road there will be a scar to remind u of how stupid a decision u made in handing the knife to someone. Well that's exactly what u are doing now.

Please please please do not hurt an innocent baby because you are being stubborn. YOU HAVE ANOTHER LIFE YOU ARE NOW RESPONSIBLE FOR!!!  Stop being selfish and do what is right.