I'm having a craving!!! A bad one!

[ang_811]

Hey everybody... I'm having a bad cravng!!! I can't seem to get the pills out of my mind! That's all I'm thinking about! I've done eveything on my list I made for myself fr when I do get cravings and when I get done it still comes back! I can't seem t shake it!!!!! It's annoyng! I hate postng this but I'm putting pride to the side and my recovery to no 1!  I think what brought it on is that today's my bday and I can't remeber th last tine I had a sober bday. I was always gven free pills and free drinks! Tonght I'm going out with people from work and be sober while everyone else makes fools of theirselves! It'll be a different experience for me but I can do it! I won't go If I am still having this craving!!!!

[dominosarah]

Okay ang.......you posted and left.  Are you okay??

[ang_811]

I'm here! I shouldn't had went out last night. But I did.  I thought since I never had problems with alcohol then it wouldn't have been hard 4 me to not drink! But I had 1 then a few more followed. I used alcohol just like i used pills! I had a bad night at work and I don't think nething couldve stopped me last night! I finding myself today to be quit pi$$ed and ashamed and feeling guilty! Plus I'm tired bc all of guilt I had kept me up all night! Now today in craving ne type of pill! I guess having all of those emotions all wrapped up nto one is not a good combo to have!  I'm forcing myself to post this! To get help and support ! I found myself not wanting ne type of support 2day. I don't know y.

[IBKleen]

Didn't you hook up with a therapist last week? If so, have you called?

[ang_811]

Ive been seeing a counselor for the past mnth and a half Last nigh when I pulled my ID out of my wallet hs card fell out and landed on the bar! Possibly a sign! If I'm being honest I didn't want to call I didn't want him talking me out of it. I guess the addict n me came out! I'm gonna call b4 I go to work!!

[gnarly_1]

HI Angie im so sorry to here all  this....dont beat yourself up over this .....just learn from it I haven't had a drink in 5yr and 4 mo and im still not able to be around it..pick your self up dust yourself off...take a few deep breaths and regroup and put yourself back on track again
im here for you if you need to talk just p/m me...your friend Mark

[IBKleen]

Good for you Ang! Pick yourself up and do what you need to do. It's a tough lesson to learn but you are here so I know you want this. You are in my thoughts.