Kicking a Terrible Habit...Need Help

[SmokeyMcDude]

   I smoked my last balloon at 4A.M. last night. I was doing about 3 a day for 5 months. I saw a doctor today and unfortunately, she was not very sympathetic to my situation. (I do live in Utah and most citizens, let alone MD's are Mormon so I wasn't expecting much of anything.) I have all the workings for the Thomas Recipe, Librium and 1 Xanax pill (from earlier scripts), Mineral Suppliments, Fish Oil, L-Tyrosine, B-6 and even some Melatonin to help me sleep. (which I doubt I will) I am feeling totally and utterly drained and my entire body aches, I have another balloon but I really don't want to get into it. I am literally inches away from the toilet trying to drop it in.
   Anyway, I was never an addict of anything before I had hand surgery about 7 months ago. I would describe myself as having a hippie mentallity (weed, beer, LSD and mushrooms are all ok) but when I got a Vallium script I was introduced to a world I'd never experienced before (and wish I hadn't) Needless to say the Vallium didn't last long and heroin is becoming ever popular in my state and also easier to get a hold of. For 10$ a balloon I thought I could spend everyday getting peeled back with no problem. WRONG! I felt like I was slowly slipping away and I couldn't get a grip on my life anymore, I haven't lost my job (yet) and just want to get back to my old life-loving self. I have lined up many trips and festivals this summer and don't want to be dependent on smack to have fun at Telluride. (which is more fun that this brown **** anyway.)
Basically I have some questions:
-Does booze help the withdrawal symptoms? I never had a problem with alcohol as I have a very sensitive stomach but would a couple of beers calm me down? I would think that and Librium would be a recipe for sleep but I don't want to over do it.
-Also does weed help at all? I have a nice bong and a satchel to burn through but I don't want to exacerbate my symptoms.
-When should I take my Xanax? After 2 days or on the 2nd day? Basically when is going to be the worst because it's really bad right now and I don't know how it could get worse.
Any secrets that the Thomas recipe hasn't told me would be greatly appreciated, I'm getting really down on myself and considered shooting a lethal dose rather than going through this hell on more than one occasion. Any help would be appreciated.

[SmokeyMcDude]

Librium is a benzo. I went to the doctor and she basically said to deal with it as I got myself into this mess. All she did was made me an appointment for a detox center on Monday. Which is after 5 days of WD's so it will almost be over anyway. Like I said up above, I live in Utah and when mormons here the word heroin, I get slapped with a pretty heavy stigma.

[Gobig]

Re: sleep - don't fight it - it will come.  Benzos would work better - or at least relax you to some extent.  You should also be on klonodine (sp?)  Your Dr. should be able to help you quite a bit.  

[SmokeyMcDude]

Thanks newmanagment. I'm still going through hell but I'm positive it will get better after tomorrow.  
To worried878: I took 2 ambien, 2 librium, nyquil, melatonin and drank a couple beers last night and didn't sleep a wink (ok maybe for 30 minutes tops) but it was hell. I was drowsy but no matter what I did I couldn't relax enough to fall asleep. I'm going to try the regime again tonight and hopefully I get some sleep.

[worried878]

Librium will relax you...that is what they give alcoholics in our hospital for detox....I had about 10 valium and would take little pieces...like 1/4 here and there...still have a few as i dont really like to feel tired so i did not abuse them at all....i took ambien to sleep   about 3 mg a night...librium should suffice...i took the ambien because it does not give me a hangover in the mrning like melatonin does..i just do not tolerate melatonin well...i feel like a good nights sleep is a key for my success with quitting as i am ill when i am tired...and I did have a glass of wine at night to relax...may not be looked upon as ok but i do not have a drinking problem and felt ok with it...i know it is bad to trade one drug for another tho and alcohol is a drug...I am not ready to give up social drinking or my corona on the beach/wine with friends in the evening as of yet..if it begins to be a problem i will have to re-examine it

[newmanagment]

smokey, hope all is well with ya

[SmokeyMcDude]

By the 25th I should be over it right? I don't want to start sub if I'm not even going through w/d's right? I'll see what the detox center recommends but I doubt my insurance will cover it.