New here, help please!

[Back_2_life]

I have been addicted to oxycontin for 3 yrs. I snort about 140 mgs a day. I quit before cold turkey. Felt like I was dying and even fainted at one point. I lasted about a month but couldn't stand the depression. I've always suffered from depression and anxiety but this was really bad. I relapsed and now I'm thinking about using methadone to get off these things and maybe by doing a taper off methadone the depression won't be as severe.. I hope. I could never taper off oxy but feel I can off methadone. I get no high from methadone (I have several methadone pills stashed for when I run out of oxy) so I think I could use it short term to get off oxys. Has anyone tried this? I'm afraid to go ct again, I don think my body can physically handle it and I think this might be the best option to finally get off pills. I am the mother to two beautiful kids and feel so much shame from what I've become. I really hate myself and if not for my kids I think I'd just kill myself rather then go through this living hell anymore. I'm just so sick of it. I don't even get much of a buzz of the stupid things despite the large amounts I do. I get a prescription for my back pain but of course that's gone in a few days and I have spent so much money it's sickening. I just want to be free from them but the mental hell that awaits really is discouraging me from breaking free but I know I have to try. I really hope I can lessen the depression by tapering off methadone as opposed to ct. Please give me some advice. I feel like such a hopeless case.

[Casaba213]

I was taking 10 80mg Oxys twice a day for years.  I tries suboxone, it worked for a short time.  I tried the rapid detox.  It got the drugs out of my system, but did nothing for the cravings.  Methadone was the only thing that worked for me.  I think the mistake people make is setting a time limit for their detox.  It took me a few months to be totally clean with methadone. Worry about getting clean first, then figure out how to taper off the methadone.  I,d rather be on methadone then wake up everyday sick, trying to figure out where the money would come from to get more pills.  For me, it also helped with the depression.  Being on the roller coaster of addiction is a big part of the depression, not to mention the guilt.  Try the suboxone, and if it doesn't work got to a methadone clinic.  I have my family back, their trust is restored in me.  I'll take that over being an addict anytime.  The hardest part for me was forgiving myself for all the damage I caused.  Do what works for you, don't worry about what people think.

[Dav125]

Back_2_Life? Are you doing any type of tapering inbetween now and the 22nd ?

[IwillQuit2]

Wow.... Good luck! I'm only day 10 and I completely can empathize with the depression.  I'm lucky I get my kids off to school. My husbands been driving mr around becuz I can't sleep either and feel like a zombie.  My mother, dropped off samples of an anti depressant and I call my pcp to see if it was ok to take them.  She said yes,and called in an rx for me also.  My point is....   Why not start an AD now? So by the 22nd, they'll have time to kick in and help with the depression. My only regret with all of this is I wish I prepared myself with the depression.  It looked like the blanket was lifting a couple days ago but then it has buried me. Literally.   I'm just praying that the AD kicks in quick so I can go about a happy, sober free from effin opiate life!  Those things are the devil.  I was using for 3.5 years and 300+ mg's. So wds sucked a$$, but there is a lot of info on these boards that WILL help you.  I'm so thankful I found this, I will pray for you and your decision, just my .02, I would not in any way go the methodone roite, even 9 days. Omg by 9 days you'd be done not struggling to get off methodone. Just my thought    

[Dav125]

I found your thread Back_2_Life..I'm bumping it to get it back where we can see it..So whats the plan? Are you still going to do this Methadone thing you were describing above or did you get to a doctor to discuss this? Oct 22nd will be here before you know it

[justneedtotalk]

I have known two people whom which have died from methadone complications.  Both of them were not prescribed them legally but one stopped breathing during the night after having a few drinks earlier.  The other mixed the methadone with alcohol and other narcotics and had a heart attack....There are only a few people that actually have these severe side effects but out of all of the research that I have done it is worth mentioning to people to warn them about these risks.  As for the methadone being prescribed to heroin addicts, this is also my opinion after doing hours of research.  Going from an oxy habbit to a methadone habit is like trading smoking for chewing.  It is the same type of drug just different affects.  I agree that if you can truly detox off of the oxy with only 9 days of methadone you will not have the horrible methadone withdrawals but I do not think 9 days is enough to eliminate the wd from the oxy.  I have seen it a thousand times where people and doctors will prolong the methadone prescription or even increase dosages because of the symptoms of going from such a high dose of oxy.  My opinion is only based upon my own research and of course I by no means have all the answers.  I was on methadone off and on for about a year and full time for about 3 months at around 30-40mg/day.  I tried the same logic to get off of the hydro's which after going through several nasty detoxes off of LARGE amounts of perc's, hydro's and combo methadone, I thought that using methadone would work out great!  I think that there are several different ways to detox but I just like warning people about methadone and my experiences with it.  I think people get a little touchy when talking about methadone.....to some, it is the miracle drug....Mostly because they do not experience the high feeling and at the right dosage feel what they think is "normal".  When in all actuality you are just trading one drug for another just different affects.  Methadone clinics are for profit companies which loves to get long term patients.  Detoxing off of any opiate is difficult but I think that with a taper of the oxy on an aggresive schedule then jumping will be painful but better than the methadone route.....Just my opinion.....God Bless

[laurel453]

Back2life.... Read what you have been told with an open mind, please, i know you are feeling hopelessness right now but as Brian has said, it is a thought and not a fact... you are stuck on the mindset that the solution here is taking self medicating with those pills you have of methadone because you went through very bad wds and you fainted last time but you can't know how they are going to affect you and afterwards. Fainting is not to be overlooked here and the main reason why you should not selfmedicate in your detoxing...You can make a better plan than this, just change the plan... go for a doctor to monitor and check you and help you whatever the way you need to detox.... It is not another plan, it is simply the plan  to start with and the best one for you, be your best friend now..