Please help me if you have an alternative to me leaving my husband

[KAG71]

Where to start.....  For those of you that don't know me my husband is on oxycontin for severe back pain.  He was on 640mg a day, and is currently tapering this down.  He has managed to taper to down to 440mg in the last month which the doc says is very good.

However, the problem is with his sleeping (or lack of it).  He has always had problems sleeping but since being on oxycontin it has got much much worse.   We have both mentioned it to the doc who tells us that it is because of the oxy, however, since tapering it has just got worse.

Since xmas day there has been three separate occassions when he has become so tired that he has literally fallen asleep round peoples houses, eating, on the floor etc etc.  Not only this but he hallucinates, he talks a load of nonsense and treats me like **** (which is soooo different to the "normal" him).    I love him so much and have tried so so hard to help him but it just keeps happening over and over again despite him saying it won't.    It has now happened two nights in a row, which is odd because he (after several hours of confusion etc) did finally crash and actually sleep last night.   I have now reached the end of my tether and really cannot take any more, I have now ran out of options and the doc just won't help us.   My husband is falling apart before my very eyes and our marriage is crumbling.  Please if anyone can help us I am desperate!!!

Thanks for listening guys.

Karen

[KAG71]

Bionic Man

Thank you very much for the post, you're right every post helps.  Its comforting just to know that there are other people out there going through the same thing, and that people care.   It's not easy at all.  Today he has been upstairs in bed all day, but we did at least see the new year in together which was lovely.   Without telling me (until just a few mins ago) he decided that he was going to try and see how long he could go without oxycontin at all today.   It is now 5pm here and he still has had no tablets at all which is amazing.   I have done as advised and just left him be today, just checked on him occassionally to make sure he was okay etc.    Its cool that he has managed without tablets today (so far) but I just wish he had told me what his plans were!!

He's trying really hard and I hope that with the support of people on here we can get through it together.

Snare2

Thanks for the advice on the Al anon group, I never thought that they would be able to help  but will def. give it some thought.

Thanks again all, and happy new year to everyone.  Hope 2009 brings us all some happiness!

[snare2]

Hi Karen,
I would highly recomend al anon to you. It is for family and friends of alcohol and drug abusers. I know your hubby isnt either, but what you are experiencing is the same, but the help and support from them is priceless. I would love to go into detail with you, but this blog would take forever!! Please try them, you can look on the net for info, and also there are forums etc. And you can decide from there. One of the first steps you have already taken thru somebody elses suggestion, by taking yourself out of the situation.

Hope you find the help need for YOU. :-)

[bionic_man]

Karen,
You got alot of responses however I guess you can always use one more.  Your husband is on ALOT of Oxy as you probably know.  Remember, Oxycondin is a form of Heroin and in the true sense he like most of the folks (including myself) are addicts. This drug affects people differently.  My wife is something like your husband doing "goofy" things........it's almost like she's a different person.  I told her last week that if she didn't get clean with me she's off to a Rehab but what I know about addiction she's got to want to get clean and I'm not sure she's there.  Anyway, I do believe we take our spouses for "better or worse" but if she doesn't get clean with me I have to worry about our two young sons and I'm not about to let them get hurt in any way, shape or form.  I can't imagine life without her but I have these kids to worry about and even though we both developed a dependancy on legitimate pain issues we have the obligation to get off these when we healed - how do we even know our surgeries were successful unless we get off these completely?  I know I'm tapering and things appear to be going well however I feel like you and want her to leave if she doesn't take advantage of this opportunity.

I really wish folks thinking about going on Oxycondin would read these posts.  If I'd known things would have gotten to this point I wouldn't have touched them with a ten foot pole and if the truth be known, either would your husband.  Good luck to you and you'll like everyone else in this forum will be in my prayers.

Bionic Man

[KAG71]

I would just like to say a very big thankyou to everyone that helped me last night.  He has only just woken up, and he was actually in bed when he woke, despite being on the floor when I left him.  So I guess that proves that just leaving him must work as he found his own way to bed.

Anyway, I have just told him that my intention is to leave the room when he gets like that again as its the only way that I can cope with it.  I have told him that its not because I don't care but because I do.   Thanks guys, I'll keep you posted.  It's not going to be easy but I will do all I can to help, which is a huge improvement on last night when I thought the only option was for us to split.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me.

Karen

[SmartYetStupid]

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[trenchy]

hi sounds like your both struggling with this he is detoxing but also making you miserable and feeling helpless anxious etc.. i put my wife through the same i dragged her into my opiate dependant life made her miserable thankfully she stayed with me. i am free from all drugs and its her turn for me to make it up to completely which i am i will never forget how she helped me- i could not have done it without her- its hard but stick with it you will EVENTUALLY reep the rewards im sure.  good luck,   peace.