Please help me if you have an alternative to me leaving my husband

[KAG71]

Where to start.....  For those of you that don't know me my husband is on oxycontin for severe back pain.  He was on 640mg a day, and is currently tapering this down.  He has managed to taper to down to 440mg in the last month which the doc says is very good.

However, the problem is with his sleeping (or lack of it).  He has always had problems sleeping but since being on oxycontin it has got much much worse.   We have both mentioned it to the doc who tells us that it is because of the oxy, however, since tapering it has just got worse.

Since xmas day there has been three separate occassions when he has become so tired that he has literally fallen asleep round peoples houses, eating, on the floor etc etc.  Not only this but he hallucinates, he talks a load of nonsense and treats me like **** (which is soooo different to the "normal" him).    I love him so much and have tried so so hard to help him but it just keeps happening over and over again despite him saying it won't.    It has now happened two nights in a row, which is odd because he (after several hours of confusion etc) did finally crash and actually sleep last night.   I have now reached the end of my tether and really cannot take any more, I have now ran out of options and the doc just won't help us.   My husband is falling apart before my very eyes and our marriage is crumbling.  Please if anyone can help us I am desperate!!!

Thanks for listening guys.

Karen

[KAG71]

Thank you so much for those words.  You are so right.  I guess the hard part is leaving him alone when he gets in one of these states.  I love him so much that the instinct is to try and help him but I know that in doing so I just make the situation worse!  I don't mean to, and I know that when he is like that it is not really him, he always apologises and always promises to make it up to me.  I need to be strong, which is really tough.

I have left him alone now because everytime I try and help him into bed he just gets angry with me.   Do you think that is the best way?  My only fear in doing that is that he could hurt himself.

Thanks a lot for your help.

[coldsweats]

I am so thankful that I had and have my boyfriend by my side. We've been together for 12 years and I will say, having him just there even though he didn't understand my dependency helped me get and want to stay clean! Be strong for him! Tapering is HARD for an addict! I didn't go to rehab but if I couldve I wouldve! Stay on this site... This site and the love and support from my loved ones is what keeps me going!

[usarmymedic1]

you need to step back and look at the over all picture this is what I am thinking from what you have said:

One he is going through WD from the tapper even though he maynot feel them that is 6.5 mg dailly of a tapper good but fast so deppression due to lack of sleep, feeling that he is not holding up his part of the marriage, not able to control anger can be part of him feeling like he failed you in some way. My anger spiked in the middle of my tapper and W/D's. he needs your support and help but maybe needs mental support from professional. He is also searching to find his true self hince the anger. the hallucinations can come from lack of sleep. he is in a downword spirial you are his only constant in life right now you most likly give him the strength to keep moving forward. You can be and is his strength. when he blows up you can remove yourself from the situation and should do that but return when he calms you can get the man you ounce had back it will take time and it will be hard but can happen hold on to that thought. and remember you have gone this far not to turn and run even though you have gone threw alot and feel you are at ends. just tell your self when this is all said and done you get pampered by him for along time

Anyone can hit a wall. The anguish felt then is proof of one's desire to move forward. But all is for naught if you falter at that moment. Action-that is the key to breaking through an impasse.

There is a saying that the earth upon which we fall is the same ground which enables us to push ourselves up again. There's another which maintains that barley grows better after it has been trampled on. Human relationships are sometimes painful, but there is no such pain from which we cannot recover. It is up to us to decide to live a life free from self-doubt and despair in spite of our failures. Indeed, it is during our most humbling moments that we should show greatest poise and grace. Then the dignity of our lives will truly shine.

[KAG71]

Thank you.  Yes we do love each other very very much, theres no doubt about that.

I have just been upstairs and he is currently asleep on the floor (again) crouched up in a ball), this is despite me actually physically getting him into bed twice tonight already!  So I'm afraid I now give up he will just have to sleep like that, at least he's sleeping which is more than I will get tonight.

Anyway, thanks for the support.

[KAG71]

Thanks so much for just listening to me.   I do love him very much and really don't want to leave him, and as I said if I could help in any way I would but I feel that he doesn't want my help.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband, that must have been so tough.  Its makes me wonder what I am whining about!   It's just so hard seeing the person that you love more than life itself in that state and being totally helpless.   I guess leaving him would be the easy option just so that I don't have to sit back and watch him in constant pain, and so confused that come the next morning he doesn't actually remember anything at all.

[catmagnet]

It just takes time...keep your faith, talk to friends, talk to us anytime...if you guys really love each other, ANY obstacle can be overcome...I've been there.