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Seeking encouragement on my journey to FREEDOM - tapering from Suboxone AGAIN
I am in the process of tapering from Suboxone long-term use. I'm down to almost 1 mg. I've done this before but got scared when it came time to jump and made a bad decision to get some short lasting opiates to help thru the bad parts then got back on Suboxone and spent the last four years maintaining. But a lot has happened since then: a divorce from an abusive husband, moving to another state, finishing College, buying a house and getting a good job. I feel beyond ready now. Just tired of this monkey on my back. After reading my previous posts from 4 years ago I was discouraged to see how close I was to being free when I messed up and reading other people's posts about the horrors of Suboxone was also discouraging. No wonder I was so scared to jump! so I'm moving forward! No one in my life knows except my doctor so I thought it was time to join the community again. I felt good yesterday I took about 1.2 mg. today I've only taken 1 mg and I'm feeling pretty rough. I've been taking 1/3 of a 4mg strip, so 1.33 mg for about a month but it seems like the lower my dose gets the harder each taper is. From what I read this is normal I'm starting to try to work out and I've also started taking a nutritional supplement full of vitamins including B vitamins to help with the energy because that seems to be one of the worst things. I also had my doctor write me a prescription for Gabapentin (a low dose) which I know helped me tremendously before with restless legs. For the last few days trying to get down to 1 mg I feel my anxiety increasing. I'm not really hurting bad but I feel like I'm getting the flu. My life is pretty stable right now emotionally and spiritually so I feel like it's a good time to get off - that and I just hate being on this medication that has such a horrible stigma, that I have to keep hidden and that I'm bound by. I guess the one bad thing is I work a professional job and cannot skip work. I have to go (and perform well) even when I don't feel like it. Also this time around I've been on it almost 5 years not just one like last time. So anyway, encouragement is welcome. And if you have any insight into what may help with the flu like symptoms. I've read a lot and been through it once but your input and encouragement are still very welcome to me.
I finally told my boyfriend and I'm so glad I did! He was understanding, supportive and now I don't feel I have to do this completely alone.
Finally stable on .66 mg.
2 Comments
I don’t know anything about suboxene witheard it’sy all the same. Opioids, heroin, and suboxene . I’m back on opioids been for years now, I went cold turkey back in 2014, and after the 7 day no more withdrawel, I felt like hell though, no energy and my job is very demanding. And after 3 months my brain told me, a half won’t hurt. **** **** shoot me now! I’m doing worse at 50-80 mg of hydrocodone. I hate it. Before I went cold turkey I was only at 30-40 mg. For 8 months and for 10 year on one 7.5 mg a day. And from 1995-2002 did maybe 5 a month total and 5 mg at that. My tolerance is high now. I know it’s a mind thing. I am in a lot of pain as well. I have degenerative disk disease, both arms fractured, and ligaments torn, right one acl and mcl tear, arthritis in hip back knee , fibromyalgia , nerve pain, nerve damage ,now knots are forming in my fingers the docs don’t know anything about, it’s freaking sad cause I’m hurting but I also hate I’m a addict! I feel I can’t go thru the withdrawals again they were horrible for me no tapering, and I had the sneezing sick feeling coughing yawning, so it could be the withdrawal . I really wish I could afford the weismann treatment. One is $20000 in Beverly Hills and another is $8000, but heck I can’t afford neither. They don’t take insurance either. But all you have to deal with is the mind issue. If I could just stop I wouldn’t go back a second time. Sorry for rambling, it feels good talking to someone about this. It’s just so hard cause withdrawel of any kind needs at least a month of no work, and that’s not a option for me. Trump made it a national emergency but what are they doing about it, how about give us treatments that are affordable. Good Luck! Prayers and strength for you!
I'm so sorry you're going through this I do understand! Especially about the work thing. I'm just toughing it out still and that's a lot of why I'm tapering because I can't take a month off work. Even tapering is hard but I'm managing. I too thought I could take just one when I relapsed after 6 years of being clean. And I believe I was on a similar amount of hydrocodone when I began taking the Suboxone but I'm not recommending that. if I could do it again I probably would have taken a long weekend and went through the withdrawals versus years of struggling with the Suboxone. But it's not been all bad - it's just taking me a lot longerto be free. Prayers for you too and remember you're not alone. the sooner you can come up with a game plan to tackle this demon the sooner you'll be free and it will be behind you. I also never want to have to go through this again.
Today is worse than last night. Am i getting a cold or experiencing withdrawals? Legs feel better but Body feels like I'm fighting an infection. I'm sweaty then cold, head hurts and soooo tired. Lord give me strength!
4 Comments
Hey KLB84. . Day 26 for me off buprenorphine (sub w/o naloxone). . I have been on bup for 5 years 16 mg daily for pain. I've seen your hellacious taper posts. I've been dealing with bup and in the field I work for bup docs. Once your down that low of dose and youre that sick, you are actually perpetuating the acute withdraw. I tapered myself from 16 mg to 4mg in 5 days. Then i jumped. First 8 days are gonna be brutal. But the insidious part of the withdrawal is the dysphoria and malaise. Those last 6 after your acute. Your sick but you don't have many symptoms but your endorphins are shot and there's no reuptake of inhibitors. Im not gonna lie im so exhausted from being exhausted. I took Tramadol at the beginning which helped a lot but its a taper. Not meant for long term. Basically just to get me to the dysphoria and malaise. Lucky f'ing me. But I do know you'll wake up one of those days and you'll know u beat. I got off subs in jail 12 years ago but was on 2 mg for only 6 months. I just had the 7 days and it was over. This is different. 5 years.. I'm legit consumed by feeling bad. If you really want off and your down to .5 mg or under 1mg, jump. Cuz all these acute symptoms will be gone after 8 days instead of going thru weeks of tapers that leave you feeling like this anyways. Just know I'm going thru this bs too. I have great support but support don't take away bup withdraw fr.
6 weeks. . Sorry spell check deleted weeks. It's 6 weeks of malaise and dysphoria. That's the same answer from 50 other people like me that I know that beat it.
Sheesh I jyst don't know - I'm working about 55 hrs a wk and will lose my job if I don't - don't think I could handle feeling any worse. I do hear what you're Saying about prolonging the wds though... i know that's potentially what I'm doing but I did get stable on .83 mg so I thought I could do the same on .66 or .5 etc. I think I may actually be sick not just withdrawing. I now have a cough and a lot of muss in my chest (tis the season) - or could this be caused from the taper??? Not sure. It's only been a wk at .66 keep thinking I'll feel better soon :-/
Mucus* not muss lol stupid auto correct.
6 days on .66 mg - calves are hurting bad tonight all my muscles are tight. I took my neurontin but it's not going to fix me tonight. It's not that bad - uncomfortable but I know it could be worse - another week and I'll feel normal again - another week after that and I think I'll be strong enough to taper to .5 mg. I think i can i think i can! Just keep moving fwd!
4th day on .66 mg. Day 4 seems to always be the worst - mostly the terrible irritability but also some body aches. It must be true it stays in your system 3 days because I don't feel a difference until day 4 - so gotta stay strong the rest of the week and preservere!
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