Aa
I think i am in big trouble and need help.
Hello, i was looking for some help online and i came across this site, please i implore you to give me your honest advice on my situation.
I am addicted to pain meds but not by choice, i have been taking percocets and oxicontin for 7 years now for pain due to back surgeries i have had done.
am up to 5 10mg perc a day and 2 20 mg oc a day, not bad to many that do it the normal way.
last year i started sorting my oc's because i was depressed and they made me happy, but then they suitched to op and now that cannot be done.
so i turn to percs and now i think i have a bigger problem than before.
ok here we go.
past 2-1/2 months my head started to burn and hurt, just the side of where i snorted the pills.
now my face feels a little numb aswell, nothing bad, but i am really scared.
it burns dab enough that the only thing that can stop the burning is more snorting of percs.
am afraid to tell my family doc cus i am also going to a pain clinic and i dont know if my family doctor will tell on me to the pain clinic.
i cant afford to do that since i cannot function without meds, my back is really in bad shape :(
so i still need the meds, i started taking them oraly, but the burning wouldt go away unless i snorted them, so i am stuck at snorting atm.
i was told that it could be nerve damage and that a pain management could take care of it, but i dont want to tell my pain clinic cus i am afraid of being labeled an addict and not being able to have my meds to be able to at least functions due to my bad back.
i hope i can get some answers to help guide me in the right direction.
again i dont mind taking them orally like am supposed to, but it burns if i dont.
please oh please help.
thank you very much.
Dude22
I am addicted to pain meds but not by choice, i have been taking percocets and oxicontin for 7 years now for pain due to back surgeries i have had done.
am up to 5 10mg perc a day and 2 20 mg oc a day, not bad to many that do it the normal way.
last year i started sorting my oc's because i was depressed and they made me happy, but then they suitched to op and now that cannot be done.
so i turn to percs and now i think i have a bigger problem than before.
ok here we go.
past 2-1/2 months my head started to burn and hurt, just the side of where i snorted the pills.
now my face feels a little numb aswell, nothing bad, but i am really scared.
it burns dab enough that the only thing that can stop the burning is more snorting of percs.
am afraid to tell my family doc cus i am also going to a pain clinic and i dont know if my family doctor will tell on me to the pain clinic.
i cant afford to do that since i cannot function without meds, my back is really in bad shape :(
so i still need the meds, i started taking them oraly, but the burning wouldt go away unless i snorted them, so i am stuck at snorting atm.
i was told that it could be nerve damage and that a pain management could take care of it, but i dont want to tell my pain clinic cus i am afraid of being labeled an addict and not being able to have my meds to be able to at least functions due to my bad back.
i hope i can get some answers to help guide me in the right direction.
again i dont mind taking them orally like am supposed to, but it burns if i dont.
please oh please help.
thank you very much.
Dude22
thanks hon, is people like you and others that have shown their support via public and private that has made me reconsider :)
this is why i started to post, i saw many threads where peoples words alone was having an impact on some one else, that i find very powerful, i really do.
again, i will keep you updated on this thread as to how am doing, still in shock as to how much people want to help, is a nice change of scenery from my daily life so called friends.
also please excuse my bad grammar at times, english is not my native language :)
this is why i started to post, i saw many threads where peoples words alone was having an impact on some one else, that i find very powerful, i really do.
again, i will keep you updated on this thread as to how am doing, still in shock as to how much people want to help, is a nice change of scenery from my daily life so called friends.
also please excuse my bad grammar at times, english is not my native language :)
You better!! Otherwise we might start fighting again and talking about vacuuming and sweeping...lol
Wow. Amazing post. It made me cry :) So true though. I think you've said what a lot of people think and just don't have the words to say sometimes. :) As you said a lot of people think they can't do it without pain meds, but they can, it just might be a little harder than before, but it's possible :) I really think that you are truly amazing for doing this "just for you" even though you are dying in pain. That shows a lot of self control and I really look up to you for that!!! You're awesome :)
LOL thanks, i will continue reading the forums, not much of a poster, but i will post when i think i can help or share my experiences with some one :)
@Ashelen
thank you for sharing your story, and i appreciate your thoughts and concerns.
I have tho, i have cut back on the intake before and it just wasnt going to work.
I did it for a month straight and i cut them by less than half, just wasnt happening.
about the addictive behavior, i started last year due to depression from a failed marriage and i was left to take care of 2 of my children full time while being unemployed due to my back problems.
after i got my depression under control for the most part, i continued doing it cus it was doing the same effect as orally and if i didnt snort them, my nasals would kill me, i didnt see nothing wrong since i didnt have any issues till lately.
now that i see that those issues came to light, i stopped and wont and will not continue to do stupid things like that, my kids need me now the most, i cannot fail them like i fail to myself.
i really didnt think i was doing any harm, i just merely continue what i was doing and didnt think nothing of it, was it wrong and idiotic of me to do so? absolutely, have i learned my lesson? hell yeah.
will i do it again? hell no, as stated it became to the point of just working as if taken orally and was not giving me any extra mood swings at all, so i really was only or i should say i only continued to take them like that cus i noticed my nasals where very irritated lol
thanks for sharing, is always nice to hear where people come from and what took them there, and most importantly, what made them come back ;)
@Ashelen
thank you for sharing your story, and i appreciate your thoughts and concerns.
I have tho, i have cut back on the intake before and it just wasnt going to work.
I did it for a month straight and i cut them by less than half, just wasnt happening.
about the addictive behavior, i started last year due to depression from a failed marriage and i was left to take care of 2 of my children full time while being unemployed due to my back problems.
after i got my depression under control for the most part, i continued doing it cus it was doing the same effect as orally and if i didnt snort them, my nasals would kill me, i didnt see nothing wrong since i didnt have any issues till lately.
now that i see that those issues came to light, i stopped and wont and will not continue to do stupid things like that, my kids need me now the most, i cannot fail them like i fail to myself.
i really didnt think i was doing any harm, i just merely continue what i was doing and didnt think nothing of it, was it wrong and idiotic of me to do so? absolutely, have i learned my lesson? hell yeah.
will i do it again? hell no, as stated it became to the point of just working as if taken orally and was not giving me any extra mood swings at all, so i really was only or i should say i only continued to take them like that cus i noticed my nasals where very irritated lol
thanks for sharing, is always nice to hear where people come from and what took them there, and most importantly, what made them come back ;)
Hey - I was interested to read your post, and I'm really glad that the crisis seems to have been averted.
Mind if I share? Hope you don't; I rarely take the hint to shut up and in this case there's no chance for preemptive editing so...here I go!
I'm a chronic pain patient too. crippling back/neck/head pain. Been taking pain meds on and off (mostly on) for the last 5 years. No trouble with addictive behaviors...took my meds as prescribed, even lowered my dose from time to time voluntarily to keep my tolerance from sky-rocketing. About 3 weeks ago..maybe a little more...I woke up one morning and felt crappy because I hadn't taken my pill yet. And so I took a pill - I didn't hurt too bad, certainly not enough to need a narcotic pain pill - but I HAD to take it, or be sick. That was a HUGE slap in the face. I saw a future of sliding and slipping and a cycle of dependence and looming addiction that scared the crap out of me. I could've used the excuse of "you have serious problems, you have 2 small children who you caretake for 24/7 almost completely alone, and you have a pain management doctor who is happy to throw medicine at you and in fact refuses to support you stopping the meds because your issues are so serious"....I could've. but I didn't. I stopped taking the meds 2 weeks ago....I've stopped them before when I was pregnant, or when the pain was at a low, but I've never stopped taking them in the middle of a flare "just for me" before...and I'm glad I did. I needed to get REAL. I need to face the world for a little while and get to know my body and its limits without the meds. Yes..I'm in pain. as I type right now I'm gritting my teeth because my neck hurts so bad, but I saw a scary future that I needed to avert.
now...I may end up in pain management again. I realize that. But taking control of my life again was more important to me than being pain free. I'm only 25 and the thought of living with this pain the rest of my life brings me to tears pretty much instantly..it's depressing and overwhelming, terrifying and frustrating...but the thought of living from pill to pill just to be able to function - unbearable.
I know that our stories are somewhat different, but really - you need to be in control of your life. saying you can't function without the pills may be true - for now...but you never know what you are capable of until you try. I think as pain management patients, we think we are so hard and so tough living with such incredible pain ALL the time (and yes, it's exhausting being in pain all the time) but the truth is...and, sorry if I offend anyone, we are WIMPS. big fat wimps. that's why we take pain meds. I know people with far more serious problems than I have who don't take pain meds. for years I didn't understand how. I'm still learning to understand...but I hope I can. I hope I"m the person that when people say "why don't you just take a vicodin if you hurt that bad?" I smile and say "because I'm tough as h$ll, that's why." and I hope to really MEAN it.
pain meds are an amazing tool to manage acute pain...and chronic pain for many many people MUST be managed with narcotics. but you have to realize that there comes a point at which you lose control of your life to the pills - and then what's worse...what's REALLY worse...the pills, or the pain?
when you make up your mind that the pills are worse, you'll make a change. or you won't...really, it's your life, and I am NOT judging you - just sharing what happened with me. And yes, I freely admit that I"m a wimp and may someday end up on pain medicine again. I can't even lift my daughter to "fly her" because it hurts so bad - but if my doctor says "take X number a day, every day" I'll throw the script in his face and walk out. that is worse to me than a little pain. (and yes, I want to qualify again...some people MUSt take pain medicine all day every day...I have family members like that, and as someone who was recently in that situation, I understand the mentality, I understand the need, and I support anyone in that much pain no matter how they cope with it - as LONG as they are NOT misusing their script...and that's the key. and yes, everyone processes pain differently and some people do well on pain pills chronically - but people who are displaying addictive behaviors MUST, in my mind, find a different alternative. it was enough to scare the crap out of me just CONSIDERING that possibility).
Mind if I share? Hope you don't; I rarely take the hint to shut up and in this case there's no chance for preemptive editing so...here I go!
I'm a chronic pain patient too. crippling back/neck/head pain. Been taking pain meds on and off (mostly on) for the last 5 years. No trouble with addictive behaviors...took my meds as prescribed, even lowered my dose from time to time voluntarily to keep my tolerance from sky-rocketing. About 3 weeks ago..maybe a little more...I woke up one morning and felt crappy because I hadn't taken my pill yet. And so I took a pill - I didn't hurt too bad, certainly not enough to need a narcotic pain pill - but I HAD to take it, or be sick. That was a HUGE slap in the face. I saw a future of sliding and slipping and a cycle of dependence and looming addiction that scared the crap out of me. I could've used the excuse of "you have serious problems, you have 2 small children who you caretake for 24/7 almost completely alone, and you have a pain management doctor who is happy to throw medicine at you and in fact refuses to support you stopping the meds because your issues are so serious"....I could've. but I didn't. I stopped taking the meds 2 weeks ago....I've stopped them before when I was pregnant, or when the pain was at a low, but I've never stopped taking them in the middle of a flare "just for me" before...and I'm glad I did. I needed to get REAL. I need to face the world for a little while and get to know my body and its limits without the meds. Yes..I'm in pain. as I type right now I'm gritting my teeth because my neck hurts so bad, but I saw a scary future that I needed to avert.
now...I may end up in pain management again. I realize that. But taking control of my life again was more important to me than being pain free. I'm only 25 and the thought of living with this pain the rest of my life brings me to tears pretty much instantly..it's depressing and overwhelming, terrifying and frustrating...but the thought of living from pill to pill just to be able to function - unbearable.
I know that our stories are somewhat different, but really - you need to be in control of your life. saying you can't function without the pills may be true - for now...but you never know what you are capable of until you try. I think as pain management patients, we think we are so hard and so tough living with such incredible pain ALL the time (and yes, it's exhausting being in pain all the time) but the truth is...and, sorry if I offend anyone, we are WIMPS. big fat wimps. that's why we take pain meds. I know people with far more serious problems than I have who don't take pain meds. for years I didn't understand how. I'm still learning to understand...but I hope I can. I hope I"m the person that when people say "why don't you just take a vicodin if you hurt that bad?" I smile and say "because I'm tough as h$ll, that's why." and I hope to really MEAN it.
pain meds are an amazing tool to manage acute pain...and chronic pain for many many people MUST be managed with narcotics. but you have to realize that there comes a point at which you lose control of your life to the pills - and then what's worse...what's REALLY worse...the pills, or the pain?
when you make up your mind that the pills are worse, you'll make a change. or you won't...really, it's your life, and I am NOT judging you - just sharing what happened with me. And yes, I freely admit that I"m a wimp and may someday end up on pain medicine again. I can't even lift my daughter to "fly her" because it hurts so bad - but if my doctor says "take X number a day, every day" I'll throw the script in his face and walk out. that is worse to me than a little pain. (and yes, I want to qualify again...some people MUSt take pain medicine all day every day...I have family members like that, and as someone who was recently in that situation, I understand the mentality, I understand the need, and I support anyone in that much pain no matter how they cope with it - as LONG as they are NOT misusing their script...and that's the key. and yes, everyone processes pain differently and some people do well on pain pills chronically - but people who are displaying addictive behaviors MUST, in my mind, find a different alternative. it was enough to scare the crap out of me just CONSIDERING that possibility).
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
