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Avatar universal

Tramadol is going to kill me

I have to stop this. I am a chronic pain patient. Have access to anything from morphine, percocet, most recently Belladonna/Opium and pure oxycodone. nothing I take compares to my drug of choice for the past 3 years.. that evil little white pill, Tramadol

I am not a " high" type person. never enjoyed the stoned feeling. I have extreme lethargy from several chronic diseases and when I found this little speed pill that gave me super energy and feeling like a normal person again , I was hooked.  I was able to get out of bed and have strength, clean my house , go out with my kids, be a normal mom again.

So here I am now , and have been for awhile now, desperately trying to make it until my next script, doctor shopping, E.R. visits just for the purpose of getting more tramadol because my pain managment doctor would cut me off if they knew id taken 150 tablets in a week ... Thats my usual now...  its always been 4 at a time , at least 12 per day,  but for the past year its usually 15-20 per day.  

Ive tried to w/d on my own... its literal hell and I cannot take it. Ive used other drugs to replace tramadol ( vicodin, norco etc)  and ive sucessfully done it , but I always go back to tramadol, only because of the energy it gives me.  If I didnt suffer from debilitating fatigue, I wouldnt have ever started this junk. All I wanted  was to be pain free and have a normal energy level. I once had ambition, I could do anything, Now , there are only 3 magic words I wait to hear, " your prescriptions ready"

Ive conned so many doctors, pharmacies, some at the same time... anything to get that pill that controls my life. Im so tired of being slave to a drug that is destroying my body.  its exhausting...  literally scared to look at my bottle, in case its getting low... then the anxiety sets in ," ok I have to start figuring out how to get another script before that runs out."  Im running out of options....  and Im just TIRED.

and to top it all off , last week, I swore I would stop again ... BUT I NEED energy, because I DO suffer from chronic fatigue and I conned some Adderall....  I took the whole bottle of 40 in 3 days.

Thats when I realize , nothing is going to work , because , I AM AN ADDICT. thats the reality. I think it really set it when I was researching on google "  how to call in your own prescriptions" AND I almost went through with it. If I had I probably would have been arrested.

So the question----   HOW do I stop this? Ive been trying to drag myself to the rehab clinic for methadone/suboxone.... I cant be chained to a methadone clinic... just wont work for me . and im scared that subuxone wont give me the energy I need. SO im literally terrified that I will move onto adderall , no matter if I do manage to quit the tram....

I need help
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Avatar universal
Well...

I think I'll hold off on the sub doctor for now....  I AM going to talk to him about what is going on though..

Started the sub strips Friday night ...  I felt great other than vomiting once .

For my second dose yesterday , I took only a small piece of the strip , around 1mg  ( half of what I took friday)

Yesterday I was a zombie ... Knocked out , literally like I was floating and could hardly hold my body up. Slept most of the day because I couldn't lift myself out of bed.

I got a great night sleep and just woke up feeling really good.  I'm going to hold off until this afternoon to take another dose and its going to be a tiny sliver! Can't afford to be a zombie and even with strong anti emetic meds I've still been so sick.

This is definitely NOT going to be a habit...  Honestly , I can make these last for awhile...  I started with 2 8mg strips and still have 1 and 1/2 left!

I hate the high feeling ... Don't want it...

One good thing... I feel good now... Out of the pill haze I'm usually in... I feel clear headed and even though I have no energy , its still good to feel normal...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I happened to come accross this site when I was looking up info on tramadol. As a child I was diagnosed with charcot marie tooth disease it's progressive muscular dystrophy.  With it comes lots of pain and off and on struggles with walking. As well as insane restless leg syndrome.  So I had started seeing a neurologist who prescribed me Tramadol for the pain about 6 years ago. Ive been taking 2, 50 mg tablets 3 times a day since the start. Occasionally I would have to take a couple extra because on pain in the middle of the night. I had NO IDEA this was an addictive medication until lastnight. I have never tried to come off of it because I didn't think it was doing any bad for me. Now I have seen other posts of people saying Tramadol has changed them and their lives negatively.  I haven't experienced that. It has allowed me to be able to walk and function better. It hasnt affected my mood. However I do find myself counting them to make sure I have enough until my next refill. And if for some reason I run out early I get super scared. I have gone a couple of days without before and it was ugly. But at the time I didnt think "addiction". Ive never been addicted to anything ever. So seeing these posts does strike lost of concerns and fear in me. I dont know what I should do now. I haven't taken my morning dose today because im scared to. I actually got myself away from having to take my afternoon one. So really I take 2 in the morning and 2 at night. What should I do? my big fear is the withdrawal symptoms.  I dont do well with being sick.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I started with 2 50 mg tablets as needed , usually 6 a day .. Then 8 .. Then I lost control.  

If you are at a point that you can taper , and you sound like you can...  Then that's your best bet .

There are many other options for pain than this insidious drug. I was sold a bill of goods.  Its the most addicting drug I've ever been on. Ive been on alot for pain.  Now please don't take what I'm saying as an all or nothing because SOME people aren't even affected by it .  

Having said that...  I have recently spoken with several recovering addicts on other boards and a few were grown men that said they had come off of much harder illegal drugs and it was nothing compared to the horror of tramadol withdrawal. I know how horrible it is.   I'm a very strong person with many illnesses and am no stranger to suffering  and I cannot take it. The withdrawal is just too horrible.

Its recently been controlled by the FDA and with the research I've seen lately and the doctors I've spoken with , everyone wants it off the market. Im even reading about possible class actions against the drug company (again.. just what I'm hearing)

All you have to do is google "tramadol withdrawal"

You'll be amazed at how many hard core addicts are on the internet talking about how they feel like they are dying from stopping this drug and that even their withdrawals from illegal drugs were easier to tolerate.

I wish someone had warned me    but doctors are only recently waking up and stopped handing it out in a pez dispenser.

I just so happened to start taking it when it was considered to be a "non habit forming wonder drug "



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Avatar universal
I forgot to mention ...  You say tramadol hasn't impacted your life negatively... Well that's the MAIN reason I've had trouble letting it go back n the early stages..
Tramadol made my life WONDERFUL.  Loads of energy and ability to be pain free ...even now ...  

The ONLY reason it has negatively impacted my life is that I want MORE and more.  Tolerance has built and I can take 10 at a time without batting an eye  and even though I have a pain mgmt doc that gives me 150 per month.  Its not enough. It lasts me a week if I'm careless and if I stretch it I can last 2 weeks.

The negativity in my life is that I take enough to kill a horse..... If I weren't already on seizure meds I probably would've had one by now...  My liver is slightly damaged already from taking so many    but the worst part .. And the reason um trying to give it up is this :

Anxiety over running out and counting the pills.  Can't leave home without them... Constant worry that I'll run out and can't get more.  

When you start counting pills and have anxiety about it.   That's a problem.

Just my .02
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
DEA* ... Not FDA  Kinda out of it right now.  Sorry
Helpful - 0
6726276 tn?1421126668
Me too. I have 2 diseases that require frequent maintenance surgeries.
  Usually I take 10/325 Norco. Then reduce according to Dr taper. Then jump.
Last time they gave me scripts of Tramadol to be taken with Celebrex.
  I took one dose, then I remembered reading about Tramadol here. So I went back to the Dr and said no way Jose.
  I know what to expect and how to get off opioids. In the old days I refused Vicodin in favor of regular codeine. That's even easier to get off of when it's necessary to take pain meds.
  Tramadol has some weird tricky components.
  I know you have loads of medical problems. But do you also see a Pdoc?
I'm bipolar and more dependent when I take meds. I have bipolar and add.
  Hated adderral. But new Pdoc has me on super low dose of Vyvance.
It's ok. I take it with .025 mg ( use pill cutter) of Klonipin .
  It's my treatment. Plain and simple. I don't abuse either. The quality of my life hAs improved over this last year. ( year before in mental hospital 3 times. Outpatient hospital. And regular hospital twice. 72 days of IV Cubisin.  
   I will also advise NAMI support group. Or DBSA. I've been to both and when I'm in the USa I'm a regular.
  Some people prefer NA or AA. While I'm here in Costa Rica I do my support group online. Here on medhelp. Private message me anytime. I also suffer migranes. I understand     We are all suffering.  All the best to you. Maxy
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