cold turkey

[EVILASH]

i have been taking pain pills of all kinds for about 5 years ...never thought nothing of it ..till the other day i stopped and after three days i knew now i was a total addict i relapsed that night and now im on two days clean ...i dont know anything about time and how long it lasts but this is the hardest thing i ever dealt with ...the pains in my head and stomach are unreal and the mental side affects are even worse ...i twitch all night i cant sleep well ...i throw up or gag alot i have a constant headache that wont go away... i read some peoples stories and ...we all sound the same ...i just hope i can make it ....it all started becouse i got hurt at work and then it was just so easy to get the pills from dr ...monthly and then i realised i was taking them in a week (120)vic 7.5  and my friends started taking them and then it moved to perc 10s then oc10 0c40 ...it spiralled down from there ...this is going to be a long road ...i already lost my wife ,kids,and anything that mattered so i cant do it for them ..it has to be for me now

[EVILASH]

thank you Devonlee   i agree and i am willing to wait for ever ..i will back off and fix me...i still need to talk to her about my kids and try to fix them .....as for simple? i cant live day by day i now have bee reduced to hour by hour ...but everyday gets better so ...i will learn patience

[Devonlee]

As far as your wife my advice to you is this. Back off....(I am an ex wife to an addict and a now wife to an alcoholic who has been clean over a year) and she isnt going to hear your words about being clean and wanting to get back together. She is probably angry and hurt over all that has gone on. You concentrate on you and getting better. Give it time...heal yourself...go to your meetings. SHOW her and your kids that you are doing the right thing. When you talk to her talk about the kids and leave the drama out of it. Be pleasant and give her space and yourself space. Once you have some clean time under your belt and are thinking clear things may get better. And then she may be willing to talk about your relationship. Thats just my adivce having been there and done that. You are doing well so keep it up. Keep your life as simple and peaceful as possible. Good luck with it all.

[laurel453]

How was the NA meeting ? :)  i understand you well... communicating is not always easy when we are not feeling at our best and we have conflicts to resolve.... but your words gave me an idea.. how about having your talks to your wife after you have gone to a meeting ? by your words, you are more positive and relaxed after them so you will be in a better position to talk without the anger.

[EVILASH]

thank you sudie58 i am and will persevere threw this. human nature is when we fall.. to get back up and keep going forward  and believe it or not writing stories has kept me going more then anything else ive been writing short stories and i actually found something that takes my mind off all my troubles ...who knew lol

[sudie58]

hi, i was reading through all your posts and just wanted to wish you well, you have really pushed on through , and even after a set back ,got back on track. i really hope you can get to see your kids more, stay calm and use good communication skills, i am sure you will get your problems sorted out, stay stromg and clean, god bless,   sudie

[EVILASH]

i now have 50 days two A.A. meetings and tonight i go to my first N.A. meeting ive been under so much stress that thoughts are creeping in and destroying my calm ....im trying as hard as i can ...and i wish i could just control my thoughts better ...trying my best to be level and calm when i talk to my ex but that doesn't last ;long ...we need to develop better communication skills for the kids sake ...i feel like im walking uphill threw mud and im tired of trying ,,,,but after every meeting i do go to i feel recharged and new determination