I think i am in big trouble and need help.

[dude22]

Hello, i was looking for some help online and i came across this site, please i implore you to give me your honest advice on my situation.

I am addicted to pain meds but not by choice, i have been taking percocets and oxicontin for 7 years now for pain due to back surgeries i have had done.

am up to 5 10mg perc a day and 2 20 mg oc a day, not bad to many that do it the normal way.
last year i started sorting my oc's because i was depressed and they made me happy, but then they suitched to op and now that cannot be done.

so i turn to percs and now i think i have a bigger problem than before.

ok here we go.
past 2-1/2 months my head started to burn and hurt, just the side of where i snorted the pills.
now my face feels a little numb aswell, nothing bad, but i am really scared.
it burns dab enough that the only thing that can stop the burning is more snorting of percs.

am afraid to tell my family doc cus i am also going to a pain clinic and i dont know if my family doctor will tell on me to the pain clinic.
i cant afford to do that since i cannot function without meds, my back is really in bad shape :(
so i still need the meds, i started taking them oraly, but the burning wouldt go away unless i snorted them, so i am stuck at snorting atm.

i was told that it could be nerve damage and that a pain management could take care of it, but i dont want to tell my pain clinic cus i am afraid of being labeled an addict and not being able to have my meds to be able to at least functions due to my bad back.

i hope i can get some answers to help guide me in the right direction.
again i dont mind taking them orally like am supposed to, but it burns if i dont.

please oh please help.

thank you very much.

Dude22

[abritt121222]

So you say you snorted the oc before they switched to op and you couldnt anymore and now you went to the percs does that mean u snort the percs to?? because the percs as you know have tylenol in them and that is not good at all to be snorting im not saying it is good to snort anything because it is def not but tylenol can be devistating to the body when not taken correctly and to much is being taken

Good Luck and Godspeed
ABritt

[dude22]

correct, i was snorting oc's and taking percs orally, the vice versa.
and i have been on percs since op's came out last year i think...
so now i take the op/oc by mouth and percs by nose.

listen am not proud of this and it was a stupid mistake on my part, but i need to keep taking my meds orally  if i get a remedy for this since my back is bad.
so either way i need meds, just this burning pain is driving me nuts.

any advice?  

[abritt121222]

I know what you mean and i am not judging you by any means but have u tried to come off of the meds because i promise you that once you get clean off of the pain meds your pain level will be ALOT lower than it is while on meds because your brain will no longer make you hurt to get you to take pain meds anymore and i know all about a bad back to i have a horrible back i have had 2 major surgeries in the past year and a half but i have learned that there is no need for pain meds because i hurt alot less off of the pain meds and motrin helps with the pain just fine but hey thats just something to think about because the brain is a VERY VERY powerful thing and once it gets hooked on the opiates it is gonna try and do anything and everything to get you to take more and that means it will make you hurt and as far as the snorting percs i would stop doing that immediatly or your prob is just going to get worse because tylenol can wreck a human body

Good Luck and Godspeed
ABritt

[vicki595]

Dude...You have to stop snorting. Plain and simple. Just do it!  It's hurting you more by continuing. I understand your predicament so for now no snorting!  Get an OTC called "Ocean". It's to sooth nasal membranes and you can get it at Walgreens. Put warm compresses on the affected side of your face and keep doing that.  I'm afraid you may have an infection and that can be serious.  Your face and nose are close to your brain so
you'll need to get this looked at.
I suggest you call an ENT as soon as possible and stress the urgency. That doctor doesn't need to know you're in pain management if you don't tell him. Pay cash. I don't really believe in sneaky stuff but this is somewhat of an emergency!  You can address your addictive behavior when this is cleared up. 7 years is a long time to be on pain med
and you know it. You'll need help with that.
But,for now,get that nose and face looked at and don't snort another pill!  It's not worth it...you're getting sick now.

Good luck!

[constantbeauty]

I hate to be the bad guy here, but I have to disagree with the above poster. I think that if you've resorted yourself to snorting pills, then there's an issue or problem at hand that needs to be dealt with in more ways than one. Going to an ENT, paying cash and sneaking around so that your other doctor doesn't find out about this little habit you've got forming at this current time is only going to make the problem much worse. If you wish to help yourself by still easing the pain, you need to be honest with yourself as well as others. In other words, maybe it'd be within your best interest to NOT sneak around. Talk with your doctors about what has been going on, and let them know that you think you need help, but still need the assistance of some sort of pain medicine that will help with the ongoing pain issue.

[vicki595]

Hey Ms. Beauty----

I gave the OP good advice and I know I did. He's an addict. He's not going to jeopordize his pain management right now. I'm being realistic here. He's got a potentially serious situation going on so first things first. That's how it goes with medicine:  You deal with the acute problem first and THEN the chronic!

I did qualify what I said by admitting it was sneaky and telling him he had to address the addiction issues.  AFTER he gets his problem checked.  As I said, it's awfully close to his brain and infections(if that what it is) can travel at the speed of light!  Then it's bye bye...

I appreciate your idealism but this situation is not about addiction right now...

Thank you for posting.  

[tgtiffany]

I agree with everyone else.  Stop snorting them!!  Yes, at first it will hurt, but then your receptors will recover and it will get better.  But you have to give it a chance to get better and you can't give in.  I understand that you have back problems too, but just don't "use" that as an excuse to say "okay I can still take all these pills because of my back"  I'm not in any way saying that you are making it up... or if I come off rude, I don't mean to be.  My husband had a compressed fracture in his spine with no treatment for it of any kind (still has it) and that was his "reason" for taking so many sometimes.  Just like everyone else is telling you, once you stop then you will feel like you are hurting super bad and dying but then it will get better.  It just takes time.  I think that we are able to handle a lot more pain than we usually think because now we have so many drugs in the world to "fix" us...when in reality most of them don't help at all but just cover up the problem.  Then when we go to get off them and stop taking them we are bombarded with all this pain we didn't realize was hiding behind all pills, but because we haven't felt pain in so long we think it's super horrible dying pain, when it's really not. And we have to learn how to deal with it again.  Again, not saying you're not in pain I know you are, I'm just talking....

You can do this!!!  By coming here you already realize and have admitted that you have a problem, that's step one!!  Just keep going!  This site is super amazing and there are lots of people here to help you, even when you think you have NO ONE in the entire world who understands, come here and someone will tell you that they've been there, they did that, they did that AGAIN, and now they're clean and happy and still living :)  Good luck!!

[constantbeauty]

Sorry if you took offense to my post, it wasn't my intention.

I never said anything in regard to you not giving him good advice. Your advice was good, but that doesn't mean that I cannot disagree with certain aspects. Nobody is putting you down or your advice, I was only sharing my own. I'm sorry that you disagree with what I've said, and I'm sorry but I don't think we should discount the entire picture.

[dominosarah]

You need to get yourself checked out ASAP.....Please talk with the ENT about this.

[constantbeauty]

I agree with you, and great input as you've apparently been through this with someone near and dear to you. I also think he should check up with an ENT like the other poster said, but I don't think it's within his best interest to do it behind his doctor's back, if that makes sense. I don't see anything wrong with killing two birds with one stone. Deal with the addictive behavior [snorting of the pills that SHOULD be taken orally] ::and:: also deal with the fact that because of this snorting, there have been other issues that've popped up in the process.

[vicki595]

Okay...I really don't care what you THINK.  And I take no offense from anything that you say to me. But,I'm protective of our forum members and I don't like to see crappy advice given. To wit:  The BIG issue here is his facial pain...not his route of administration or the fact that he doesn't want to compromise his pain management.  Who could blame him!!
He's an addict. He has an ACUTE problem. He has back pain. I promise you...he's NOT going to get clean,stop snorting and THEN get his nose checked. This is the real world.

Just a word...it's not always wise to come on the forum and begin proselytizing to an addict. First...help. Then...support.  

Did you even read the part about pain,numbness,and heat? I'm guessing he has quite a cellulitis brewing and you want him to get into recovery??  NOW??  

You didn't...you allowed an idiot to give you pills until you finally woke up(or got shut off).

[dude22]

wow, lots of options here and great advice.
I have to admit it to myself and look in the mirror and realize that i wont last much longer if i continue like this.
I have a big problem, bigger than i thought it would get....i have stopped snorthing the pills as of the time i posted this topic and i am in a lot of pain, but i have to do this.

I will continue to take orally as i use to and start cutting back, i took myself off the oc a long time a go before i even had the surgeries, so in that regards i think i can do it.
Is the pain in my head that burns that i continued to snort the damn pills.

But no more, I just cant continue on like this, i just cant.
I have 4 kids that need me, and after seeing the great advice and well wishes from people i dont even know, it is very refreshing.

i dont know if i want to sneak around tho, i have a problem that i dont know how to go about it and thats why i came here.
I want to tell my family doctor about this, but i dont know if he would tell my pain doctor, i dont mind taking responsability for my dumb actions.
But i still would need some sort of medications to deal with the pain and the withdrawalls that will be there if they completely take me off cold turkey, and thats what am scared off, i dont mind doing what ever they think is necessary for me to get better, but at what cost? if it is at the cost of just having all my meds taken away, i dont think i can do that.

i really apreciate all your thoughts, i really do.
i didnt look at it in the way some of you did, and thats refreshing to be able to have such input without.

also i did have a ct scan done of my head when i went to the emergency one night.
then i whent to a ent and he did question me about snorting and i denied it cus i was scared, he suggested it might be nerve damage like my friend did.
then he said i should see a pain specialist for it, that they would be able to treat it.

my pain doctor knows that my head started to burn, but we havent talked about it yet since he went on vacation soon after.....i just didnt tell him the reasons tho.

i guess i will continue orally and think and do a little research on if the family doctor can snitch on me to the other, since thats whats holding me back from telling him.

thank you all for all the advice that was given, if you have more please do share as i will continue to visit here often.

thanks again.

Dude22

[dude22]

@vicki595

my isues is not much facial pain, is my head hurting and burning on 1 side, my fecial thing is that is a little numb, sorry and i apologize if there was any confusion.

[dominosarah]

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is get that pain and numbness checked out.  Tell your family doctor what you have told us.  It's time to get honest with all parties.  You have much to live for.  

[vicki595]

DUDE-  Your one sided facial pain and burning is serious,okay? Not snorting anymore will keep it from being aggravated but my fear for you is that it won't get better on it's own. You need to tell someone the truth about snorting. Yes,your PCP will tell your pain doctor.That's probably a blessing in disguise...but you need to WANT to get off the pills!
Get your face looked at soon. I don't know how else to tell you it's a serious matter...

[tgtiffany]

I think that might be covered by doctor/patient confidentiality?  not sure, but seems like it would be.  I'm glad that you have decided to stop snorting them!  And I as well think that you should be honest with the pain doctors.  If you want to cut down like you said, then keeping secrets from them will make it harder.  I don't think considering your pain history that they will completely tell you to leave empty handed with nothing to take for your pain.  Just talk to them and see what you can do.  Maybe they'll help you do a taper down method and for sure tell them about the reason why the burning occurred.  That is serious and shouldn't just be ignored, as you already know this.  I say this out of no experience with WDs at all, but try not to be scared.  That will only make it worse in my opinion.  I know that my husband was always worried about that before and this time he told himself it's just something he has to do that he can't go on living like that and just took it a day at a time...hour by hour even sometimes.  And his withdraws weren't horrible this time like before.  I'm a psychology major and I believe in the power of the mind.  It's a great thing and sometimes your subconscious can use it against you when you are most vulnerable!  You can do it, just keep going!!!:)

[dominosarah]

That is how i looked at my wd's also.  I just had had enough and i said let whatever happens happen and took it moment by moment.  The quicker you get rid of the toxins the better you feel.  It was raging he!! but nothing like it was while i was using.

[constantbeauty]

Best of luck to you, dude22! :)

[constantbeauty]

Sarah: Did bananas help with your RLS during WD? Or was there something else that helped with that? Or.... Did you even get RLS? :(

[vicki595]

Actually, I helped Sara with her withdrawals. She took nothing. Not even a vitamin. And,by the way,you have to excuse me. I didn't take my medicine today...

[JustNotStrongEnough]

I would listen to Vicki, she is a nurse.  

Seriously, a (possible) infection so close to the brain is not anything to take a risk on!  Sure, we don't know what is causing the burning, but I don't think it is wise to wait to find out!

Vicki only suggested "sneaking" around because she is trying to save this person's LIFE!  While I am sure we all wish that you would get honest straight up and deal with both issues at the same time, the real situation is that the poster is afraid of getting cut off due to being honest, so this will push him/her to continue to deny the possible infection in order to continue to receive the medication.  It is pretty evident to me that this is the ONLY reason that Vicki suggested the sneakiness.

Once again... my advice to the new posters....

In the beginning of recovery, it is best to listen, rather than to give advice.  Once you indulge yourself in recovery, and have some time under your belt, you will be better able to offer GOOD advice.  The recovery process is more than getting clean.  When you engage in TRUE recovery, you will learn the best ways to help others just beginning their recovery.

I am sure that I will be attacked for this post, and may even be quite unpopular because of it.  To be frank, I could care less.  I have put a lot of time into my own recovery, and I feel confident in my statements.

PLEASE, dude, get to the Ear, Nose, Throat Dr. as soon as you can.  If it means keeping some info from him, so be it.  Like Vicki stated, let's take care of the immediate health issues first, and worry about the long-term addiction later!

[dominosarah]

I had RLS all over.  I ate what i could and soaked in the bathtub.  I also took vitamins.  

[tgtiffany]

My husband ate bananas and said it helped, there are other things that help with it too though.  

[tgtiffany]

I retract my statement as it seems that sarah did in FACT take vitamins, still glad that you could help her though :)

@ JustNotStrongEnough:  How can he get the help he needs if he isn't honest about WHY his head is hurting/messed up to begin with?  That is what I believe constantbeauty meant by him needing to be honest.  If he doesn't tell someone that the reason is that he's snorting pills, they can't fix him.  

Regardless, I think our best interest is with Dude22 and that's all that matters!!!